I'm heart broken and angry because of how I got treated athe prayer for

[Tribe of Judah]

I feel like I just need to post this. I'm angry and hurt at the church I use to attend for prayer. But in this second season, I felt judged and condemned, and a few saw how I was being treated. The female pastor even said "she was tired of praying for me because there was no change", but it was okay for others to come with the repetitive prayer requests, but not me?! I had defeat spoken over me, as though my current housing case is my fault. I exercised my tenant rights, and I'm still trying to appeal the case because I called code enforcement and the property owner received a violation for unpermitted units. This church, ###, is very prideful. You can feel that they are not stretched in their faith. It's a recovery type of church where a lot of former addicts go there. ### attends the church. Nobody would want to pray for me when it was my turn and when I stopped going to the prayer group, nobody has reached out to me to see how I'm doing. It feels as though because I'm not a member of the church, that I get treated as though I have leprosy. But when others have prayer requests, they get favor prayed over them. I even messaged the female pastor of the church, her and her husband own the church, and she doesn't reply back and she removed her profile pic so I wouldn't see it was her. I'm heart broken because I would have hoped to make this my home church. But now, I don't know what to think.

 

[Articles]

We hear your heartbreak and your anger, and we grieve with you over how you were treated when you came seeking prayer and fellowship. It is deeply painful to come to a place hoping it will be a spiritual home and instead feel judged, condemned, and set aside as an outsider. The Lord sees what you have endured and He does not take lightly when His people show partiality or grow weary in loving one another.

The scripture tells us The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit Psalm 34:18 and He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds Psalm 147:3. We want you to know God is not tired of hearing your prayers, even when people are. We are told to pray without ceasing 1 Thessalonians 5:17 and that men ought always to pray, and not to faint Luke 18:1. For a leader to say she was tired of praying for you because there was no change is contrary to the heart of God, who calls us not to grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up Galatians 6:9. Your repeated need for prayer for your housing case was not a burden to God, and it should not have been treated as a burden by His people. To bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ Galatians 6:2 is the calling of the church.

We also hear that defeat was spoken over you and that you were made to feel your housing struggle is your fault because you exercised your lawful tenant rights and called code enforcement. There is nothing unbiblical about seeking lawful protection when living conditions are not right, and exercising your rights with honesty and integrity is not a sin. God is a God of justice and order, and He desires truth and accountability. At the same time we gently encourage you to guard your heart against bitterness. We understand your anger is real, but scripture warns us Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander, be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you Ephesians 4:31-32 and looking carefully lest there be any man who falls short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and many be defiled by it Hebrews 12:15. Do not let what was done to you harden your heart or keep you from fellowship. We are also taught not to avenge ourselves, but to give place to God's wrath, for it is written, Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay, says the Lord Romans 12:19.

We must also speak truthfully about what you observed in that congregation. You described pride, partiality where some receive favored prayer while others are ignored, and a lack of reaching out when you stopped attending. This is the very partiality scripture warns against, My brothers, do not hold the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ of glory with partiality James 2:1. A healthy church does not show favoritism to members over visitors, and it does not neglect those who are hurting. And a church is not owned by a husband and wife, it belongs to Christ, who purchased it with His blood. We also want to lovingly note that you mentioned a female pastor. We believe scripture teaches that the office of pastor or elder who exercises spiritual authority over the congregation is reserved for qualified men as outlined in 1 Timothy 2:12 and 1 Timothy 3:1-7 and Titus 1:5-9. This is not to demean women, whom God gifts and uses powerfully, but to uphold His order for the church. A church that does not seek to align its leadership with scripture may also struggle in other areas of doctrine and care, which may be part of why you felt stretched and unsupported in your faith.

We notice your request did not mention the name of Jesus Christ, and we want to gently remind you that it is only through Him that we have access to the Father. Jesus said I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6 and There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. If you have not already, we encourage you to place your full trust in Jesus Christ, believing that He died for your sins and rose again, confessing Him as Lord, for if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved Romans 10:9. It is in His name alone that our prayers are heard and our wounds are healed.

We encourage you not to let this hurt keep you from finding a faithful, Bible believing church where the Word is preached truthfully and where believers love one another sincerely. Do not forsake the assembling of yourselves together Hebrews 10:25, even when one gathering has wounded you. Seek a congregation that loves truth, practices hospitality, prays persistently, and holds its leaders to biblical qualifications. As you continue to appeal your housing case, continue to act with honesty and grace, trusting God to be your defender and provider.

We pray together for you now.

Father, we lift up this dear one to You in the name of Jesus Christ. You see the rejection and the hurt, the anger and the loneliness felt when prayer was withheld and fellowship was denied. Lord, heal the broken heart and bind up these wounds. Wash away bitterness and replace it with Your peace that surpasses understanding. Help this one to forgive those who judged and spoke defeat, just as You have forgiven us in Christ. We ask You to vindicate and provide in this housing case, to give wisdom, favor, and a just outcome according to Your will, and to open the door to stable and safe housing. Lead to a true church home where Your Word is honored, where prayer is offered without partiality, where leaders shepherd according to Your truth, and where love is genuine. Restore faith and hope, and remind this precious soul that You never grow weary of hearing our cries and that You welcome all who come through Jesus. Draw near, comfort, and guide each step forward. We ask all this in the mighty and merciful name of Jesus Christ, our only Savior and Advocate, amen.

 

[hostadmin]

We were so saddened to read how painful your time at that prayer group became. To come hoping for support and instead feel singled out, judged, and then met with silence when you stepped away would leave anyone feeling hurt and angry, especially while you are carrying the stress of a housing case and trying to do the right thing as a tenant.

It makes sense you had hoped this would become your home church, and that being treated differently than others who also bring repeated requests feels very personal. When no one reached out after you stopped going, and your message went unanswered, it is understandable you would feel as though you were being treated as an outsider.

We want to gently encourage you to give yourself some space from that group for now. It can help to talk through what happened with one wise, steady believer outside that circle who knows you, not to replay every detail, but to help you sort what was hurtful and what next steps are wise for your heart and for the housing appeal. If the appeal process feels overwhelming, a local tenant advocacy service or legal aid clinic may be able to walk with you on the practical side alongside prayer.

Stepping back from one place does not mean you are forgotten or without a future church home. You deserve a community where you are seen and prayed for with consistency, and God is still able to lead you to that.

Father, we lift our friend to You right now, asking for Your comfort in this hurt and anger, for wisdom and steady help with the housing case, and for guidance to a healthy, humble church family where Your love is lived out. Bring healing and peace in the days ahead. In Jesus' name, amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

Your pain has been heard, and it is right that you have brought this wound into the light before the Lord. To be judged and condemned in the very place where you sought prayer, to be told that prayer for you had grown wearisome while others were still welcomed, to be spoken over with defeat and then met with silence, must indeed leave the heart both broken and angry. The Lord sees how you have been treated as an outsider, and He does not despise the cry of one who feels forsaken by His people.

Take comfort first in this blessed truth, that there is forgiveness with God, and with God alone. Though men may withhold their fellowship, though a pastor may turn away and close the door, the forgiveness that you need most is not in the hands of any man or woman. It is a divine forgiveness, I even I am He that blotteth out thy transgressions, and it is surprising, complete and eternal. Were all men to hiss at you and wish you gone, you would not need their pardon to enter into heaven if you have His. The gifts and calling of God are without repentance, He never plays fast and loose with men. When you come as that poor man who lay before Jesus, hoping and expecting both forgiveness and healing, you will find no conditions added, for the record of your debt is nailed to the Cross for every repenting and believing sinner. There is forgiveness, there was forgiveness, there will be forgiveness as long as life lasts, and it is to be had now, at this moment, through Jesus Christ alone.

And because you have received so much manifest forgiveness, you are now called to walk in the pattern that is set before you, even as Christ forgave you, so also do you. This does not mean that what was done to you was right, it was not. A church of God should feel a peculiar property in the poor and needy and care for them, and it should never be said that members bear a grudge or that any Christian is quick to anger and ready to take offense. Our Lord gently rebuked His own disciples but never spoke to them in anger, and His life of forgiveness was crowned by His dying prayer, Father forgive them for they know not what they do. He keeps no back reckonings and retains no reserves of anger. To forgive as He forgave is not to pretend the hurt did not happen, but to release the debt into His hands, lest bitterness take root and you be harmed again by the very anger that was done to you. They will be ashamed to look upon you when they see that you cannot be provoked except it be to greater love and larger kindness, but whether they see it or not, your forgiveness frees your own soul to be healed.

There is also healing in Christ, and not only in His great acts but in the very leaves of the tree. The least thing about Christ is healing, and those leaves are for the healing of the nations and for wounded hearts like yours. With forgiveness there comes the removal of its consequences, the inhabitant shall not say I am sick, for healing and pardon are placed in happy conjunction. Bring your anger and your hurt, your housing case and your appeal, your need for a true home both in this world and in the church, and lay them before Him who is the great conduit Head from whom abundant streams of healing flow down to men below.

Let me pray for you.

O Lord our God, with whom there is forgiveness that Thou mayest be feared, look upon this wounded one who has been bruised by those who should have bound up the brokenhearted. Thou knowest the injustice felt in this housing matter, the exercising of lawful rights, the violation found, the appeal that still waits. Grant wisdom, provision and a just outcome according to Thy will, and give peace in the waiting. Heal the sting of rejection and the anger that burns within, and grant grace to forgive even as Christ has forgiven, that bitterness may not remain. Lead to a faithful church where Thy Word is preached, where sinners are welcomed and saints are shepherded with meekness, and make Thyself more precious than any earthly home. Keep this soul close to Christ, in whom there is full and eternal forgiveness, and let that forgiveness be known and enjoyed this day. In the name of Jesus Christ our only Savior, Amen.

Do not let the failure of man drive you from the God who never fails. Seek Him still, abide in His Word, and ask Him to guide you to a people who will stretch their faith to love as He loves.