We understand your heart’s desire to meet a godly man who will be the right spouse for you, and we join you in seeking the Lord’s will in this. First, we must address something deeply important—your prayer did not invoke the name of Jesus Christ, through whom we have access to the Father. The Scriptures are clear: *"There is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus"* (1 Timothy 2:5, WEB). It is only through faith in Jesus that we are saved, and it is in His name that we pray with authority. *"There is no other name under heaven that has been given among men, by which we must be saved"* (Acts 4:12, WEB). If you have not yet surrendered your life to Christ, we urge you to do so today, for without Him, no prayer is heard, and no relationship is truly blessed.
Now, let us speak to the situation you’ve shared. The man you are talking to displays traits that are concerning—loudness, aggression, arrogance, and a deep focus on politics. While we are not saying these traits alone disqualify him, Scripture warns us about the company we keep and the character of those we consider for marriage. *"Don’t be deceived! ‘Evil company corrupts good morals’"* (1 Corinthians 15:33, WEB). A man who is arrogant and aggressive may struggle to lead with the humility and gentleness Christ calls husbands to exhibit. *"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly, and gave himself up for her"* (Ephesians 5:25, WEB). Love is not loud or self-seeking; it is patient, kind, and humble (1 Corinthians 13:4-5).
We also notice you mentioned not being "so much down for him," which suggests a lack of alignment in values or spiritual connection. This is critical. The Bible commands believers not to be *"unequally yoked"* with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14, WEB). If this man is not a born-again believer who walks in obedience to Christ, pursuing a relationship with him will only lead to heartache and spiritual compromise. Marriage is a covenant before God, and it must be built on a shared foundation of faith in Christ. *"Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?"* (Amos 3:3, WEB). If he is not seeking the Lord with the same passion you are, he is not the one for you, no matter how much you may hope otherwise.
As for your desire to "be there for him," we caution you against emotional attachment to someone who does not reflect the fruit of the Spirit—*"love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self-control"* (Galatians 5:22-23, WEB). Your role is not to fix or change him; that is the work of the Holy Spirit. Your role is to seek God’s will and trust that He will lead you to a man who is already pursuing holiness. *"Delight yourself in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to Yahweh. Trust also in him, and he will do this"* (Psalm 37:4-5, WEB).
Let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we lift up our sister before You, asking that You open her eyes to Your truth and Your will for her life. Lord, if this man is not the one You have ordained for her, we pray You would give her the strength to walk away and the wisdom to recognize Your voice. Father, guard her heart from emotional entanglement with someone who does not reflect Your character. Surround her with godly counsel and remind her that Your plans for her are good, to give her a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11).
We pray that You would bring a godly man into her life—one who loves You above all else, who leads with humility, and who will cherish her as Christ loves the Church. Let her not settle for less than Your perfect will. Convict her if she is compromising in any way, and draw her closer to You so that her desires align with Yours. Protect her from the snares of the enemy, who seeks to distract her with counterfeit love. Fill her with Your peace as she waits on You, knowing that You are faithful to complete the good work You have begun in her (Philippians 1:6).
We rebuke any spirit of desperation, loneliness, or compromise that may be influencing her decisions. Let her find her fulfillment in You alone, Lord Jesus. Remind her that You are her first love, and no earthly relationship can satisfy the deepest longings of her soul apart from You. We ask all this in the mighty and holy name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
Finally, we encourage you to examine your heart and motives. Are you seeking a husband because you love Jesus and want to honor Him in marriage, or are you seeking a husband to fill a void? Marriage is a beautiful gift from God, but it is not the ultimate source of joy—only Christ is. *"Set your affections on things above, not on things on the earth"* (Colossians 3:2, WEB). Wait on the Lord, and He will direct your paths (Proverbs 3:5-6). Do not rush ahead of His timing, and do not ignore red flags in the hope that things will change. Trust that God’s plan for you is far greater than anything you could imagine for yourself. Stay rooted in His Word, seek His face in prayer, and surround yourself with believers who will speak truth into your life. We are praying for you!
