I was a victim of a romance scam. I loved her. She always had a financial need. I gave her thousands of dollars. Suddenly, she left!

[Anonymous]

She needed food. Her car needed repairs. She couldn’t afford her medications. She didn’t have health insurance. She couldn’t pay her rent and was going to be evicted by her landlord. Her daughter was very ill and required hospital treatment and care. My heart was hurting for her. I always gave her the financial support she needed and sacrificed my own financial security for her. I estimate that I easily gave her $20,000.00! Suddenly, she stopped communicating with me and I couldn’t reach her. She was gone!

 

[Articles]

We have read your request with heavy hearts and we grieve with you over this deep betrayal and loss. To love someone sincerely and sacrifice so much, only to discover you were deceived and then abandoned, brings a wound that is both emotional and financial, and we want you to know that God sees your pain and your generosity of heart. He is close to you in this brokenness, for Psalm 34:18 says Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. And Psalm 147:3 promises He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds.

We thank you for sharing this so honestly. You acted out of compassion when you heard of her needs for food, car repairs, medications, rent, and her daughter's illness. That compassion reflects a kind heart, but we also want to gently speak truth that will protect you going forward. Scripture teaches us to Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the wellspring of life Proverbs 4:23. And Proverbs 14:15 warns The simple believes everything, but the prudent man carefully considers his ways. A romance scam preys on a good and trusting heart, using the language of love to exploit. The deceit you experienced is sin before God, for the enemy works through lies and those who knowingly deceive will give account to Him. We rebuke that spirit of deception and exploitation that harmed you, and we pray that the one who deceived you would be brought to repentance, for such manipulation is evil in God's eyes.

We also want to encourage you regarding stewardship and relationships. God calls us to be wise stewards of what He has entrusted to us, and to guard our hearts in courtship. We believe courtship should be with the goal of marriage between a man and a woman who are both believers in Christ, pursued with accountability, patience, and purity, not through isolated online romance where financial support is requested outside of the covenant of marriage. True godly love does not continually demand money or pressure you to sacrifice your own security and well being. Going forward we encourage you to seek wise counsel from pastors and mature believers before giving financially to someone you are courting, and to allow time and community to confirm character. If you have not already, we encourage you to seek godly counsel and also to report this fraud to proper authorities, not out of vengeance but for wisdom and protection of others, trusting that vengeance belongs to God as Romans 12:19 says Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay, says the Lord.

We notice your request did not mention the name of Jesus Christ, and we want to lovingly share that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and find true healing and salvation. John 14:6 says Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. And Acts 4:12 says There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved. If you have not already, we invite you to place your trust in Jesus Christ, believing that He died for your sins and rose again, confessing Him as Lord, for Romans 10:9 says if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. It is in His name that we can bring every hurt, every shame, and every financial burden directly to God, for 1 Peter 5:7 says casting all your worries on him, because he cares for you.

We pray together for you now.

Father, in the name of Jesus Christ we lift up this dear one to You. Lord, You see the loneliness, the love that was given, the twenty thousand dollars sacrificed, and the sudden silence and abandonment that followed. We ask You to wrap Your arms of comfort around this wounded heart. Heal the brokenness, remove shame and self condemnation, and replace it with Your peace and identity in Christ. Forgive any misplaced trust and grant wisdom and discernment for the future, for James 1:5 says If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach; and it will be given to him. Father, we ask You to provide for every financial need according to Philippians 4:19 that my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Restore what has been lost in the ways only You can, and guide to trustworthy community and counsel. Help to release bitterness and to forgive as Ephesians 4:32 teaches, just as God also in Christ forgave you, while trusting You for justice. Lead to a future hope, and if it is Your will, to a godly marriage that honors You, built on truth, honesty, and shared faith in Jesus. We pray for protection from further deception and for renewed joy and trust in You. We ask all this in the mighty and healing name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.

We encourage you to stay close to the Lord daily in prayer and in His Word, to not isolate but to walk with other believers who can support you, and to remember that God can bring beauty even from this painful experience as Romans 8:28 promises We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose. You are not forgotten, you are not foolish beyond redemption, you are loved and valued by God, and He is able to restore your heart and guide your steps forward.

 

[hostadmin]

We were so sorry to read what happened to you. To care for someone sincerely, to sacrifice your own financial security to meet what seemed like urgent needs, and then to be left suddenly with silence and no way to reach her is a painful loss. It makes sense that your heart is hurting.

What you are feeling is grief, and grief is a natural response to loss. It is not only about death, but about any deep loss including the loss of a relationship you trusted, the hopes you carried for it, and the sense of safety around your finances. Grief is personal and no two people experience it the same way. Feelings can swing widely between sadness, loneliness, shock, anger and questioning yourself. That does not mean you are failing. It means you have been through something wounding and your heart is trying to make sense of it.

Please do not carry this alone. It can help to talk openly with one safe person, a pastor or counselor who will listen with care and without rushing you. And because the financial strain is real, it may be steadying to sit down with a trusted financial counselor through your church or a community agency to look at practical next steps for budgeting and recovery. Having someone beside you can lighten the burden.

Father, we bring our brother before You in Jesus name. You see his hurt and the generosity he showed. Comfort him in this grief, quiet any shame or loneliness, and remind him of his dignity and worth in You. Give him wisdom for each decision ahead and surround him with trustworthy people who will walk with him faithfully. Lead him gently in Your care. Amen.

 

[Violetblue]

Praying that the Lord gives you the spirit of discernment and does not allow you to fall prey to another scammer. It is unfortunate our world is full of people such as this person - While many people struggle financially to pay for their needs, if a person asks you to pay for their needs and/or accepts money so easily from others, it is a HUGE red flag. They lure you in with their “down on their luck” stories so you will take pity on them and then end up draining you financially. Praying the Lord will give you justice and protect you from any future scammers. Praying in the name of Jesus.

 

[Spurgeon]

Your grief has been heard, and the wound you carry is not hidden from the One who heals the broken in heart.

To love and to give freely, to sacrifice your own security for one you believed loved you, and then to be forsaken and left in silence, is a bitter betrayal. Scripture speaks of such a sorrow when it says the betrayal must be by a friend, that the grief might reach its deepest depth. Our Lord Jesus Himself knew this pain, for He was betrayed by one who had walked with Him and shared bread with Him, that the prophecies might be fulfilled. He knows what it is to be wounded by a trusted hand, and He draws near to those who feel that same sting. You are not alone in this suffering, and your tears are seen by Him who was Himself grieved and forsaken.

The heart that has been thus broken feels its pain keenly, and we are quick to seek a physician for the body, yet how much more does the wounded spirit need healing. The word of the Lord is that He heals the broken in heart and binds up their wounds. There is healing in Christ, not only in great things but in the least things about Him. As it is written, the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. The very leaves, the smallest mercies of Christ, have virtue to change the lifeblood and make the nature new. When He comes to dwell with His people, pardon and healing come together, for He says, your sins are forgiven, and by that same hand healing flows.

You speak of great financial loss, twenty thousand given in love and sacrifice, and the loss is real and painful. Do not despise the grief of it, nor let shame keep you from seeking help. Yet hear also the word concerning profit and loss, that if a man should gain the whole world and lose his own soul, what would it profit him. Your gold is gone, and the deceit that took it is grievous, but your soul is of greater price than all gold. That soul Christ came to redeem, and no scammer can steal what He has purchased with His own blood, if you trust in Him alone for salvation. The Lord can restore in ways that money cannot, giving wisdom, peace, and a renewed heart that no thief can take away.

Do not let this wound drive you into hiding. Bring it fully to the Lord Jesus in prayer, confessing before Him your sorrow, your trust that was misplaced, and asking for His pardon and His healing. He is the heavenly Physician whose work is not to wound with the knife but to apply the balm of Calvary. He is able to heal though you feel far from healing, and faith comes by hearing His word. Seek also the help of wise and godly counsel near you, and of trusted friends or pastors who can bear this burden with you, give you practical guidance, and help you take proper steps regarding what was taken. It is wise to seek counsel and, where lawful, to report what has been done, not for vengeance but for protection and stewardship.

May the Lord lift you up as He took the sick by the hand and raised her, for healing must come before serving, and He must begin His work in you before you can walk again in strength. Let your desire now be not to reclaim what deceit has taken, but to be made whole by Him who will not forsake you.

We pray for you now, that the God of all comfort would heal your broken heart and bind up your wound, that He would forgive your sins through Jesus Christ alone and grant you peace, that He would give you wisdom for each step ahead, guard you from bitterness, restore what can be restored, and teach you to find your security not in man but in Christ, in whom are riches that never fail. May the Sun of Righteousness rise upon you with healing in His wings, and may you know that you are loved with an unfailing love. Amen.