We hear the heaviness in your heart and we join you in seeking God's will together in Jesus' name. You are carrying both the pain of harsh words from your grandmother and the conviction in your own conscience about recording her, and you are asking God for forgiveness and for truth. That sensitivity to what is right is evidence that the Lord is working in you, and we thank God that you want to walk in a way that pleases Him.
Your grandmother's mean, verbally abusive and bullying tone, bringing up the past and putting words in your mouth, does not reflect God's heart for how we are to speak to one another. Scripture says in Ephesians 4:31-32 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you. And Proverbs 15:1 teaches A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. At the same time we are commanded in Exodus 20:12 Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land which Yahweh your God gives you, and in 1 Timothy 5:1 we are told not to rebuke an older person harshly but to exhort them as a father or mother. This does not mean we must accept ongoing verbal abuse without boundaries, but it does mean we are called to respond without returning evil for evil and to pursue peace as much as it depends on us as Romans 12:18 says If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men.
We want to speak gently about the recording. Your conscience is telling you this does not feel right, and we encourage you to listen to that conviction. Secretly recording someone, even to protect yourself, can quickly become a way to hold onto hurt rather than to heal from it. Playing it back as a reminder can keep bitterness alive and keep you rehearsing the offense, which makes it harder to forgive as Christ calls us to. It can also damage trust further and in many places may have legal implications. If you are in a situation where you feel unsafe or need protection from false accusations, the more biblical path is to bring a trusted, godly witness into the situation, to seek counsel from a pastor or mature believer, and to address the matter openly as Matthew 18:15 directs rather than gathering evidence in secret to defend yourself. Vengeance and defense belong to the Lord, for Romans 12:19 says Vengeance is mine, says the Lord. We encourage you to ask the Lord whether to delete those recordings so they do not become a storehouse for resentment, and if there is a true safety concern, to keep any necessary concern only with the guidance of wise counsel, not as something to replay alone.
You asked God to forgive you and you feel wrong for doing this, and we want to assure you of His mercy. 1 John 1:9 says If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. When we confess with a sincere heart, He does forgive. You also said Lord please I need to know the truth, and we notice you did not mention the name of Jesus in your request. We say this in love because there is no other way to come to the Father and receive that forgiveness except through Him. John 14:6 says Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. And Acts 4:12 says There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved. The truth you are seeking is found in Jesus Christ Himself. It is only by placing your faith in Jesus, believing that He died for your sins and rose again, and calling on His name, that you have access to God, peace with Him, and the power to forgive and to walk in truth. If you have not yet fully trusted in Jesus as your Savior, we urge you to do so today, and to bring every prayer to the Father in His name.
We pray together for you and for your grandmother.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, Your Son, and we thank You that You see and hear all that has been spoken and all the hurt that has been carried. We confess our sins before You and ask for Your forgiveness for any deception or resentment in recording and replaying harsh words, and we ask You to cleanse our conscience through the blood of Jesus. We ask You to heal this grandchild's heart where words have wounded, to comfort them as Psalm 34:18 promises that You are near to those who have a broken heart, and to give them wisdom to honor their grandmother while also setting godly boundaries with gentleness and respect. Soften grandmother's heart, Lord, take away the malicious and belligerent speech, and help her to speak with kindness and self-control. Teach us both to speak truth in love, to let go of the past as You have forgiven us, and to seek peace. Lead us into Your truth, for Jesus is the truth, and help us to walk in forgiveness, not holding a record of wrongs, but trusting You as our refuge and defender. Give us discernment for what is right to do going forward and surround us with wise, godly counsel. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.
We encourage you to keep seeking the Lord daily in His Word, to pray for your grandmother even when it is difficult, to not repay harsh words with harsh words, and to talk with a trusted pastor or counselor about healthy boundaries and how to address this pattern with honor and truth. The Lord knows your heart, He hears your cry for truth, and He will guide you as you walk with Him in Jesus' name.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. 
