We hear the deep anguish in your heart, and we grieve with you over the pain and exhaustion this relationship has caused. Your cry for freedom from this emotional bond is one we take before the Lord with urgency, for we know how heavily the enemy uses ungodly soul ties to keep God’s daughters in chains. You have carried this burden long enough, and we stand with you in the authority of Christ to pray for your complete deliverance.
First, we must address something critical: you mentioned that you and your ex are "dating again," yet his behavior remains unrepentant, manipulative, and disrespectful. Sister, this is not a relationship that honors God. Scripture is clear that believers are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14), and even if he attends church, his actions reveal a heart that is not surrendered to Christ. A man who claims to follow God but consistently chooses sin, disrespect, and manipulation is not walking in obedience—he is walking in rebellion. You cannot change him; only the Holy Spirit can. But you *can* choose to remove yourself from a situation that is harming your spirit, your body (as evidenced by your headaches), and your walk with the Lord.
The fact that you are still emotionally tied to him while he treats you this way is a sign of an ungodly soul tie—a bond that was never meant to be outside of a covenant marriage. These ties form through emotional, physical, and even spiritual intimacy, and they must be broken in the name of Jesus. The pain you feel is real, but the Lord did not design you to live in this cycle of hope and heartbreak. He calls you to *freedom*—not just from the feelings, but from the very thing that is keeping you bound.
You also mentioned that he is seeing other women. This is not just disrespect; it is sin. A man who claims to love you does not behave this way. A man who fears God does not misuse the women in his life. Your desire to be indifferent to his actions is understandable, but more than that, we pray the Lord gives you a *holy disgust* for the sin he is committing—against you and against God. You should not want a man who treats you as less than the daughter of the King you are.
Now, let us turn to Scripture, for God’s Word is the sword that will cut these ties. Jesus said in Matthew 19:6, *"So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, don’t let man tear apart."* But you two were never joined by God in marriage, which means this bond was formed outside of His will. That is why it is so painful—because it was never meant to be. First Corinthians 6:16 warns, *"Or don’t you know that he who is joined to a prostitute is one body? For, ‘The two,’ says the Lord, ‘will become one flesh.’"* While this verse speaks of physical intimacy, the principle applies to emotional and spiritual bonds formed outside of God’s design. These ties must be severed, and the Lord is faithful to do it when we surrender them to Him.
We also turn to Philippians 4:6-7: *"In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus."* Sister, you do not have to carry this anymore. Cast this burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you (Psalm 55:22). He will replace your exhaustion with His peace.
As for your hope that he would change like Saul became Paul—yes, God *can* change anyone, but that does not mean you are called to wait for that change while enduring abuse. Paul’s conversion was instantaneous and radical. If this man were truly transformed, you would see the fruit of repentance (Matthew 3:8), not the same patterns of sin. You are not responsible for his salvation or his growth. Your responsibility is to obey God, and God is calling you *out* of this.
Now, let us pray:
Heavenly Father, we come before You on behalf of our sister, who is desperate for freedom from the emotional chains that have kept her bound to a man who does not honor You or her. Lord, we ask that You, by the power of Your Holy Spirit, *sever every ungodly soul tie* that has formed between them. Cut the cords of manipulation, of false hope, of emotional dependency, and of sinful attachment. Let there be a clean break, as though a sword has divided what was never meant to be joined.
Father, we ask that You remove every lingering feeling of love, longing, or nostalgia for this man. Replace it with Your peace, Your truth, and a holy indifference—even a righteous anger at the sin he has committed against her and against You. Let her see him as You see him: a man in rebellion, not a man she should desire.
Lord, heal her heart from the wounds he has inflicted. Restore her strength, for she is weary from carrying this burden. Give her clarity of mind and a renewed sense of her worth in You. Let her no longer see herself through his disrespectful eyes, but through Yours—the eyes of a Father who calls her beloved, chosen, and holy.
We rebuke the spirit of hope deferred that has kept her in this cycle. We rebuke the lies of the enemy that tell her she cannot let go, that she will never love again, or that this man is her only chance. Father, fill her with Your truth: that You have a *godly* husband for her if it is Your will, a man who will cherish her as Christ cherishes the Church (Ephesians 5:25). But even if marriage is not Your plan for her, let her find her completeness in You alone.
Break the power of the past, Lord. When she sees photos or remembers moments, let her heart not ache with longing but rest in the knowledge that You have delivered her. Let her say with confidence, *"The Lord has done great things for me!"* (Psalm 126:3).
And Father, we pray for this man—not that he would return to her, but that he would encounter the convicting power of the Holy Spirit. If it is Your will to save him, then break him, Lord. Let him fall to his knees in repentance, not because she prayed, but because *You* drew him. But do not let her wait for that day. Release her, Lord. Set her free.
We declare in the name of Jesus that she is *no longer bound*. The chains are broken. The feelings will fade. The love she once had for him will be replaced by a deeper love for You and for the man You have for her—if that is Your plan. Give her the strength to walk away *for good*, to block his number, to delete the photos, to do whatever it takes to obey You fully.
And finally, Lord, fill the void in her heart with *more of You*. Let her find her joy, her purpose, and her future in Your presence. Let this season of letting go be a season of drawing near to You, where she discovers that You are enough.
We ask all this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Deliverer, our Healer, and our Redeemer. Amen.
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Sister, we urge you: *do not go back*. Every time you return, you reopen the wound and give the enemy a foothold. This man is not your responsibility. Your responsibility is to obey God, and God is telling you to *let go*. Delete his contact. Unfollow or block him on social media. Remove every reminder of him from your life. Fill your time with prayer, with Scripture, with godly community, and with activities that bring you joy in the Lord.
You asked how to think of him without feeling—start by *choosing* to see him as he truly is: a man who has hurt you repeatedly, who refuses to walk in obedience to God, and who is not the one for you. The feelings will follow your choices. When the enemy brings up memories, rebuke him in Jesus’ name and declare, *"I am free. This man has no place in my heart or my future."*
And when you are weak, lean on the Lord. He is your strength. He is your shield. He is the one who will never misuse you, never manipulate you, and never leave you. Trust Him with your heart. He will not fail you.