Your cry comes from a place of deep weariness and waiting, and it is right and good that you have brought it before the Lord. To be separated for months from your husband, to carry financial pressure and uncertainty about your home and your work, and to feel your heart distracted and heavy, is a sore trial. The Lord sees this affliction and He hears the prayer offered in the name of Jesus, for there is no other name by which we may come to the Father.
You ask for direction, and the Scripture gives it plainly. Our Saviour says, do not be anxious about your temporal affairs. Be prudent, be diligent in the duties set before you, but do not give way to worry and fretfulness. I have found by experience and by observation that anxiety has never comforted any soul, nor ever brought meal to the barrel. Indeed the very anxiety which comes from being in difficulty unfits you to meet that difficulty. Your care for your lease which ends next month, for your finances and for your job, commit these things by prayer into the hands of your Father who knows your need. Seek wise and practical counsel at once. Speak with your landlord, make plans as a good steward must, seek counsel from your pastor or godly friends in the church, and be faithful and focused in your labour, asking the Lord to steady your mind for the work He has given you to do.
Concerning your marriage, hold fast to what God has joined. Marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and the Lord honours those who honour that covenant. It is right to pray for your husband and for reconciliation, and it is right to ask the Lord to work in both your hearts according to His holy will. Remember Job in his ashes. When Jehovah spoke, Job trembled and bowed, and though he could not understand his sorrows he worshipped and he sinned not with his lips, nor charged God foolishly. He yielded his cause to his Maker, saying in effect, though He slay me yet will I trust Him. So let us do as Job did and make our approach unto the Lord in childlike confidence even when He seems to frown. Your sorrows shall have an end when God has gotten His end in them, which is to make you to know Him more fully, to defeat the enemy of your soul, and to conform you to Christ.
There is a further lesson in Job which is for your present waiting. The Lord turned the captivity of Job when he prayed for his friends, even for those who had spoken harshly against him. Let your prayers be enlarged. Pray for your husband, not only that he would reach out, but that he would know the grace of God in Christ, be kept from sin, and be led in righteousness. Pray also for those around you. Such intercession softens the heart and often the Lord makes it the very means by which He turns our own captivity.
You ask for supernatural blessing and for closure that you may no longer suffer in silence. Do not suffer in silence before the people of God. Open your grief to a faithful pastor and to mature believers who can bear your burden, pray with you, and give you practical help. And before the Lord, pour out your heart freely. He does not despise tears, yet He calls you to patience under His hand. If it be His will to restore your fellowship with your husband, He is able to do it. If He leads by another path, He is able to give you peace and to provide for your dwelling and your daily bread, as He at last restored to Job twice as much as he had before, and made his latter end more blessed than his beginning.
May the Lord grant you fresh oil and renewed strength, keep you in perfect peace as your mind is stayed on Him, and guide your steps day by day.
Let us pray together. O gracious Father, in the name of Jesus Christ Thy Son, our only Saviour, look upon this Thy servant in her loneliness and need. Provide for her habitation, supply her finances according to Thy wisdom, guard her labour and give her a steady mind and quiet heart. Work in her marriage according to Thy covenant purposes. Where there is sin, grant repentance. Where there is wounding, grant healing and forgiveness. Where there is distance, grant in Thy mercy reconciliation if it be Thy will, and if not, grant clear direction and holy peace. Keep her from anxious care and teach her to trust Thee though Thou shouldest try her. Turn her captivity as Thou didst for Job, and let her see Thy goodness in the land of the living. In Jesus name we ask it, Amen.
