switchback
Humble Prayer Warrior
I just finished watching a movie called The Passion of the Christ. Jesus went through what he went through for God's will. I felt love for his family watching Jesus go through the trials he went through. Jesus is who he is, he is the Son of God, but I am who I am, a human being living on this earth. The reason I felt love for his family is because my loved ones are going through the same because they love me, they love a man whose heart is full of hurt. I am a type of person who is tormented mentally by something I cannot fight and I am treated unfairly by society because of my past. Having said that, there is something inside of me that wants Jesus, but I am helpless. Jesus went through what he went through according to his Father, but for me, I am worthless no matter how much I want Jesus; it feels like I am cursed or unwanted and not good enough for Christ. If you could only live my life, you would know what it's like, tormented mentally and mistreated in society; it hurts so much watching my loved ones go through this, but they are the reason I am here. I don't want to leave them because I love them so much. Sometimes I just about to lose it, and sometimes I just wish to end this, and sometimes I just wish God can take me away and do whatever to me according to what I deserve. I always think Jesus died for me, but I am so tormented mentally, maybe because of the conditions I grew up in, and I wish for peace for those who really hate me, but I don't know how to pray and bring about peace to those against me. And if I am going to be mistreated for the rest of my life, I only wish God give me the strength to go through it because normal death is a long way, and it hurts so much. I thank those who encourage me and pray for me, and I hope this site is meant to help people around the world because I surely need real help too, and there is no where else I can go. If there was another place where I can seek real help, I would go; I just wish I can find it, and in the meantime, I am here, tormented mentally and emotionally. Jesus, if you can help me, this is my prayer to you. If you can consider all the things I wrote are true and that I truly need you, when will you come and visit me? I wait for you and wish for you, although I am so mentally disrupted in my heart, I still want you, and in my mind, I...
