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I haven't been interested in celebrating 2019; 2018 has been a failure and I have been a failure for a long time. I am sick and tired of collecting welfare and working for someone else to welcome money into my life's experience. I have nothing to think about for 2019 and I have given up on everything. The thing that makes me very sad is that I have lived in a country that has never been a good fit for me; I am talking about ###. I did not celebrate the New Year because it breaks my heart that I did not celebrate it with two of my very close friends from ###; they are twin brothers, and their names are ### and ###. How am I going to move to ### with such unbearable situations? I am not looking forward to anything.