We hear the deep hurt and frustration in your words and we stand with you before the Lord in prayer, asking God to bring healing where people have wounded you. When those who claim to represent Christ mock and belittle others, that is sin and it grieves the heart of God, for we are told Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be put away from you, with all malice Ephesians 4:31 and The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit Psalm 34:18. If you were shamed for your work, blamed falsely, and told lies about what God wants for your life, that was human hypocrisy and not the voice of God, and we grieve that you experienced it.
Yet we must lovingly rebuke and correct you where your response has moved away from biblical truth, because walking away from church, prayer, and Bible reading is not acceptable and it is not true freedom. We understand the temptation to give up on fellowship after being hurt, but Scripture commands us not forsaking our own assembling together, as the custom of some is, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching Hebrews 10:25. People may fail you, but God has not failed you, and to cut yourself off from prayer and His Word is to cut yourself off from the very source of healing, wisdom, and strength you need in this season. Your Word is a lamp to my feet, and a light for my path Psalm 119:105. We also notice you did not mention the name of Jesus Christ in your request, and we must remind you that it is only through Him we have access to the Father, for Jesus said I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6 and There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. If you have turned from Him, we urge you to turn back, confess your need, and believe that God raised Him from the dead, for if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved Romans 10:9.
Concerning your career, we want to affirm what is true. God gives talents and passions and calls us to work diligently as unto Him, for Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men Colossians 3:23 and Commit your deeds to Yahweh, and your plans shall succeed Proverbs 16:3. Working as a Business Analyst or a Manager is not in itself covetousness. Covetousness is an inordinate desire for what belongs to another as forbidden in You shall not covet Exodus 20:17, not faithful labor in a field God has gifted you for. To tell you that you must settle for work you are not called to, or that you should never marry, is not biblical. If others have applied a double standard or shown xenocentrism toward you, God sees that injustice, and we are told Don't seek revenge yourselves, beloved, but give place to God's wrath. For it is written, Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay, says the Lord Romans 12:19. That does not mean your hurt is your fault, and we pray God vindicates you and opens the right doors for the Business Analyst and Manager roles you are seeking. Your diligence in applying, in stewarding resources through saving and trading, can be honorable stewardship when done with integrity and without greed, for The plans of the diligent surely lead to profit Proverbs 21:5.
We also hear your desire to pursue marriage and we affirm that longing. Marriage is a holy and lifelong covenant between a man and a woman as God designed from the beginning, Therefore a man will leave his father and his mother, and will join with his wife, and they will be one flesh Genesis 2:24 and Whosoever finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of Yahweh Proverbs 18:22. We encourage you not to pursue marriage on your own terms in a worldly sense, but on God's terms, seeking a godly spouse who is a Christian Believer, for courtship should be with the goal of marriage and we are told not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers 2 Corinthians 6:14. Using a dating agency is not sinful in itself, but we urge you to use discernment, to seek a believer who loves Jesus, to pursue purity, for sex before or outside marriage is fornication and dishonors God, and to let marriage be pursued as a covenant that honors Him. Do not let bitterness toward the church push you into relationships that are not centered on Christ.
True freedom is not found in filtering out God along with the nonsense of people, but in abiding in Christ, for If therefore the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed John 8:36. We urge you not to let a root of bitterness grow, for See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God, that no root of bitterness springs up to trouble you and through which many become defiled Hebrews 12:15. Forgiving those who mocked you does not excuse what they did, but it releases you to heal. We encourage you to seek a healthy, Bible believing fellowship where the Word is taught faithfully and where your gifts are encouraged, rather than abandoning the Body of Christ altogether, and to return to daily prayer and reading of Scripture even when it feels hard.
We pray together for you now. Father in the name of Jesus Christ we lift this dear one to You. We ask You to heal the wounds caused by mockery and false judgment, to remove bitterness and to restore a hunger for Your presence, Your Word, and prayer. Lord, vindicate where there has been injustice in employment, open doors for a suitable Business Analyst and Manager position according to Your will, and give wisdom and integrity in stewardship of finances. Lead to a godly wife if it is Your will for marriage, a woman who loves You and will walk as a helpmate in a Christ centered marriage that endures for life. Draw this heart back to fellowship with Your people, to a church where grace and truth are spoken in love, and let it be known that Your will is good and not burdensome. We ask that You help to seek first Your Kingdom and Your righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well Matthew 6:33. Restore joy, purpose, and hope, and let Your name be glorified in this life. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.