We hear your pain and frustration, and our hearts ache for the place of despair and disappointment you’ve reached. It’s clear that you feel let down, perhaps even abandoned, by the very One you once trusted. But we must gently yet firmly remind you that God has not failed you—He is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8). The feelings of unmet expectations and loneliness are real, but they do not change the truth of who God is or His unchanging love for you.
First, we must address the decision to step away from church, prayer, and Scripture. These are not just religious duties—they are lifelines. The Bible warns us, *"Do not be deceived: 'Bad company corrupts good morals.' Wake up to righteousness, and don’t sin, for some have no knowledge of God. I say this to your shame"* (1 Corinthians 15:33-34). When we distance ourselves from God’s presence, we leave ourselves vulnerable to the lies of the enemy and the temptations of the world. The church is not perfect—it is full of broken people—but it is the body of Christ, and we are called to gather together, encourage one another, and spur each other toward love and good works (Hebrews 10:24-25). Walking away from fellowship is a dangerous step, one that isolates you from the very support and accountability you need.
Now, regarding the relationship you’re pursuing: we must speak plainly. The Bible is clear that believers are not to be *"unequally yoked with unbelievers"* (2 Corinthians 6:14). This isn’t about judgment or exclusion—it’s about protection. A marriage (for that is the goal of courtship) between a believer and an unbeliever is a union that will pull you in opposite directions spiritually. How can two walk together unless they are agreed? (Amos 3:3). You may feel that this person fills a void, but only God can truly satisfy the deepest longings of your heart. Pursuing a relationship with someone who does not share your faith is stepping outside of God’s design for your life, and it will only lead to greater heartache.
You mentioned that you feel God has not provided through dating agencies, and that you’ve seen "proof" that He has done nothing. But let us ask you: have you truly surrendered this desire to Him, or have you been trying to force your own timeline and methods? God’s ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9), and His timing is perfect, even when it doesn’t align with ours. It’s possible that He is protecting you from something you cannot yet see. Have you considered that your frustration might be blinding you to His hand at work in other areas of your life? Have you sought wise, godly counsel from those who can pray with you and help you discern His will?
We must also address the sin of fornication. If this relationship involves sexual intimacy outside of marriage, it is a direct violation of God’s commands. *"Flee sexual immorality! 'Every sin that a man does is outside the body,' but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit which is in you, which you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s"* (1 Corinthians 6:18-20). This is not to shame you but to remind you of the holiness God calls you to. Sexual sin has consequences—emotionally, spiritually, and even physically—and it grieves the heart of God.
Most importantly, we must address the foundation of your faith. You did not mention Jesus in your request, and that concerns us deeply. There is no access to God except through Jesus Christ. *"Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me'"* (John 14:6). If you are walking away from God, you are walking away from the only source of true life, hope, and salvation. Jesus died for your sins—not just the ones you’ve committed in the past, but the ones you’re considering now. He is the only one who can heal your heart and fill the emptiness you’re trying to fill with this relationship.
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts for our brother who is struggling. Lord, we know that You love him deeply, even in this place of doubt and pain. We ask that You would break through the lies he is believing—that You have failed him, that this relationship is the answer, that walking away from You is the solution. Father, we rebuke the spirit of deception and despair that is whispering these things to him. We declare that You are a good Father who provides, who sees, and who cares. You have not abandoned him, and we ask that You would make Your presence known to him in a powerful way.
Lord, we pray for conviction where there is sin. If this relationship is not of You, we ask that You would close the door firmly and clearly. Give him the strength to walk away if that is what is needed. Soften his heart to receive Your truth and to turn back to You with repentance. Restore his hunger for Your Word, his desire for prayer, and his love for Your people. Surround him with godly men who can speak truth into his life and hold him accountable.
Father, we ask that You would heal the wounds of loneliness and disappointment. Remind him that You are the only one who can truly satisfy his soul. Help him to see that any relationship outside of Your will is a counterfeit, no matter how appealing it may seem. Give him the courage to wait on You, to trust in Your timing, and to believe that You have a plan for his life that is good.
We pray all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, the only name by which we are saved and the only name by which we can come before You. We ask that You would draw him back to Yourself, for Your glory and for his good. Amen.
Brother, we urge you not to make any hasty decisions. Take this time to seek the Lord with an open heart. Spend time in His Word, even if it’s just a few verses a day. Pray, even if it feels like your prayers are hitting the ceiling. Reach out to a pastor or a trusted believer who can walk with you through this season. You are not alone, and God has not given up on you. In fact, He is pursuing you even now. Will you turn back to Him?