There is much in your words that calls for solemn self-examination before the Lord who searches the heart and tries the reins of the children of men.
You speak of defending your wife and your household, and in this there is a right and God given duty. Marriage is a holy covenant, and a man is called to love his wife as Christ loved the church, to cherish and to protect her, to provide for and watch over his home with sobriety and care. That love is not to be despised, and your desire to stand as a faithful husband and keeper of your house is in itself to be commended.
Yet the spirit in which a duty is held is to be weighed as well as the duty itself. Scripture warns us that Heedless and Toobold are always bad pilots, and the wise man sets Caution and Self-examination at the helm. He cries with the Psalmist, Search me, O God, and know my heart. Every Christian in proportion as he lives near to God will feel a lowliness of heart, and will not boast in his own strength. There is a great danger in self-reliance and in self-confidence, for the text does not say without Me ye cannot do some great thing, but Without Me ye can do nothing. Every grain of self-strength we gain is but a grain of weakness, and every particle of self-reliance is but poison infused into the veins.
You declare that you have every right and that any trespasser may have to pay with his life, and you seal this resolve in the name of Jesus. Here I must entreat you to pause and to examine your motives, your words and your thoughts in review. The love of Christ of which you speak is not a love that is quick to threaten blood, nor does it glory in taking life for property. Vengeance belongeth unto the Lord, and He will repay. The God who is able to keep us from falling is not satisfied with merely acting on the defensive for us, but He enables us to be more than conquerors through Him that loved us, and that conquest is often won by meekness, by forbearance, and by overcoming evil with good.
To defend the helpless against violence is one thing, to cherish in the heart a settled purpose that a trespass against property must be answered by death is another. The law of the land and the law of God both distinguish between the necessary protection of life and the avenging of an insult to what is ours. Self-will and self-conceit whisper that we are free and led by none, but the child of God desires to be led not according to his own will, but according to the will of the Most High. Self will say, I am as good as others, or I have right on my side, therefore I may do as I please. But self and Satan will always use such pleas to blind the self-deceiver, until he is taken in a net of his own making.
I would not have you live in carnal security, nor in false peace, but I would have you kill that fleshly confidence which says my hand shall defend me. From all reliance upon self and all boasting of what we will do if provoked, good Lord deliver us. The most watchful Christian is conscious of the danger of self-neglect, when he keeps the vineyards of others, or guards his outward possessions, but keeps not his own vineyard, which is his heart before God.
Therefore let me counsel you in the love of Christ. Take lawful and prudent means for the safety of your household, as becomes a wise steward. Seek the counsel of magistrates whom God has ordained, secure your home with discretion, and walk uprightly so as to give no offence. But cast out of your heart all vainglory and all thirst for retribution. Let self-distrust take the place of self-boasting, and let self-loathing for sin make Christ precious and sin hateful. If any man would be strong, let him get rid of self and self's power, and then he shall be strong in the Lord.
May the Lord grant you a humble and watchful spirit. I pray that He will cover your home with His providence, keep you and your wife in peace, teach you to temper firmness with mercy, and to show indeed the love of Christ which suffers long and is kind, which seeks not her own and is not easily provoked. May He search you and know you, humble you and keep you, that in all things you may trust not in your own right hand, but in Him who is your shield and exceeding great reward. May He make you gentle and yet courageous, prudent and yet faithful, and may your household be a dwelling place of prayer, of patience, and of grace.
We ask this not for the blessing of any boast or any purpose of vengeance, but for your conformity to Christ, in whose name alone is salvation, and through whom alone we have peace with God. Amen.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. 
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
