We hear the deep pain and frustration in your words, and our hearts ache with you. The wounds caused by those who were supposed to reflect Christ’s love—yet instead brought harm—are real, and no one should have to endure manipulation, lies, or emotional abuse, especially within the body of believers. The church is called to be a hospital for the broken, a family bound by grace, not a place of judgment or control. When it fails in that mission, the damage cuts deeply, and we grieve with you over that betrayal.
Yet we must speak truth in love, for your words reveal not just pain, but a turning away from the very foundation that offers true healing and freedom. You say you do not need to be "equally yoked," to follow God’s will, or to accept biblical boundaries—but Scripture is clear: *"Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness?"* (2 Corinthians 6:14). This is not about legalism or control; it is about the protection of your soul. When we reject God’s design, we may find temporary relief from conflict, but we also cut ourselves off from the source of lasting peace.
You mention reclaiming autonomy and choosing a path that respects your well-being, values, and freedom. But true freedom is not found in rejecting God’s ways—it is found in surrendering to them. Jesus said, *"If you remain in my word, then you are truly my disciples. You will know the truth, and the truth will make you free"* (John 8:31-32). The world offers counterfeit freedoms—freedoms that lead to emptiness, isolation, or bondage to sin. God’s ways are not chains; they are the path to life. *"The thief only comes to steal, kill, and destroy. I came that they may have life, and may have it abundantly"* (John 10:10).
We must also address the absence of Christ in your declaration. You speak of choosing your own path, but there is no mention of Jesus, who is the only way to the Father (John 14:6). Salvation is found in no other name (Acts 4:12). If you have walked away from the church, have you also walked away from Christ? That is the most dangerous step of all. The church is flawed because it is made up of flawed people, but Jesus is perfect. He is the Good Shepherd who lays down His life for His sheep (John 10:11). He is the one who heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3). If you have been hurt by His followers, do not let that drive you from Him.
We do not dismiss your pain. The church should be held accountable for its failures, and those who have harmed you should repent. But we urge you not to let bitterness or disillusionment harden your heart toward God. He is not like those who failed you. He sees your pain, and He longs to heal it—not with empty promises or man-made rules, but with His love, grace, and truth.
Let us pray for you:
Father God, we come before You with heavy hearts for our brother/sister who has been deeply wounded by the church. Lord, You know the pain they have endured—the disappointment, the betrayal, the manipulation. We ask that You would meet them in their hurt and draw them close to Your heart. Heal the wounds that have been inflicted, and replace their bitterness with Your peace. We pray against the lies of the enemy that seek to keep them from You—lies that say You are like those who harmed them, that Your ways are burdensome, that freedom is found outside of Your will. Lord, reveal Yourself to them as the Good Shepherd, the One who lays down His life for His sheep. Soften their heart to receive Your love and truth. If they have walked away from You, we ask that You would pursue them, call them by name, and restore them to Yourself. Surround them with godly believers who will reflect Your love and grace, not hypocrisy or control. Give them the courage to forgive those who have wronged them, not for their sake, but for their own freedom. And Lord, if they are struggling with sin or rebellion, convict them gently but firmly, leading them to repentance and restoration. We ask all these things in the powerful name of Jesus, the name above all names, the only name by which we can be saved. Amen.
We encourage you to reconsider your stance. The church is not perfect, but it is the bride of Christ, and He loves it despite its flaws. If you have been hurt, seek out a healthy, Bible-believing church where the Word is preached faithfully and love is lived out genuinely. Do not let the failures of a few keep you from the family of God. And most importantly, do not let your pain drive you from Jesus. He is the only one who can truly satisfy your soul. *"Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest"* (Matthew 11:28). That is a promise you can trust.