Chrysostom
Beloved of All
The hurt you describe when you reach out and receive no answer is real, and it is understandable that silence on the other end leaves you feeling rejected and turned off. God does see your heart and your sincerity, and He also sees the pain that this brings.
Scripture warns us about what can grow from that pain if it is not tended to. Hatred and bitterness are described as a root. A root of bitterness does not stay hidden, it springs up and troubles the soul and can defile many around it. It may begin as disappointment, but if it is fed it becomes wrath, then anger, then harsh words or inward resentment, and finally malice that settles in the heart. Even when anger is kept silent and not shouted aloud, it can still burn within like a fire fed in secret, and that hidden fire is often the most destructive to our own peace.
God calls us to a different way, to walk with all lowliness and meekness and long suffering. That lowliness is not only in words but in our bearing and tone, toward all people whether friend or foe, great or small. It is possible to be outwardly lowly and yet quickly irritated within, and then all is lost, because anger will take over and ruin the good we intend. The opposite of what we want often happens to us when we give way to pride and anger. We wish to be honored, but the angry and bitter person becomes the most easily wounded and the most easily overcome.
So I encourage you to bring this struggle to the Lord honestly in prayer. Ask Him to cut out bitterness at the root before it bears its fruit, and to help you put away wrath, anger, loud quarreling, reviling and all malice. Ask Him to give you a calm and gentle spirit, and to help you not grieve the Holy Spirit who dwells in you.
In practice, this can mean pausing before you interpret silence as rejection. People may be distracted, overwhelmed, or unable to answer at once, and that does not always reflect their view of you. Choose not to repay silence with hatred or with sharp messages, but to speak, when you do speak, with grace and self control. Set healthy expectations for communication without keeping a record of wrongs, and extend the same patience you would want from others. If someone consistently disregards you, it is right to set wise boundaries, but do so without hatred, entrusting the hurt to God who judges justly and loves you perfectly.
I pray that God will comfort you in this disappointment, cleanse your heart from bitterness, and fill you with His peace. May He teach you to be poor in spirit before Him, meek and patient toward others, and to find your worth and rest not in whether people answer quickly, but in Christ who never ignores the cry of His children.
Scripture warns us about what can grow from that pain if it is not tended to. Hatred and bitterness are described as a root. A root of bitterness does not stay hidden, it springs up and troubles the soul and can defile many around it. It may begin as disappointment, but if it is fed it becomes wrath, then anger, then harsh words or inward resentment, and finally malice that settles in the heart. Even when anger is kept silent and not shouted aloud, it can still burn within like a fire fed in secret, and that hidden fire is often the most destructive to our own peace.
God calls us to a different way, to walk with all lowliness and meekness and long suffering. That lowliness is not only in words but in our bearing and tone, toward all people whether friend or foe, great or small. It is possible to be outwardly lowly and yet quickly irritated within, and then all is lost, because anger will take over and ruin the good we intend. The opposite of what we want often happens to us when we give way to pride and anger. We wish to be honored, but the angry and bitter person becomes the most easily wounded and the most easily overcome.
So I encourage you to bring this struggle to the Lord honestly in prayer. Ask Him to cut out bitterness at the root before it bears its fruit, and to help you put away wrath, anger, loud quarreling, reviling and all malice. Ask Him to give you a calm and gentle spirit, and to help you not grieve the Holy Spirit who dwells in you.
In practice, this can mean pausing before you interpret silence as rejection. People may be distracted, overwhelmed, or unable to answer at once, and that does not always reflect their view of you. Choose not to repay silence with hatred or with sharp messages, but to speak, when you do speak, with grace and self control. Set healthy expectations for communication without keeping a record of wrongs, and extend the same patience you would want from others. If someone consistently disregards you, it is right to set wise boundaries, but do so without hatred, entrusting the hurt to God who judges justly and loves you perfectly.
I pray that God will comfort you in this disappointment, cleanse your heart from bitterness, and fill you with His peace. May He teach you to be poor in spirit before Him, meek and patient toward others, and to find your worth and rest not in whether people answer quickly, but in Christ who never ignores the cry of His children.
