I hate God

[Ashoiford]

I am so angry at God. I tried tondonthebright things to keep from getting an eviction, and I still got it. I'm trying to work with the collections company and they treat me like trash though I was paying in time. I do have an attorney so hope that helps. I wanted a family and struggling to conceive because if my ###. Tried to do it His way and its never enough. My significant other has asylum immigration case tomorrow and I'm hoping the judge would allow him to stay in the US. His country is filled with crime and poverty and in the ban list. I don't see how the president can allow Haitians and Syrians to go back. The ones ai know work so hard so respectable pay their taxes be with their families just appreciating what do many of us take for granted here. Yet they are constantly vilified. I'm starting to wonder where is God. He is showing up in the dreams of the Iranians and the others are left to wonder if there is God. How can they come to believe with such poverty violence and wondering if you'll die from crime or natural disasters daily. Where is Jesus. Where is God? And where is my church. I attended a small spirit filled church that really teaches the word. But I have not been there since Thanksgiving. Due to working a lot of overtime to catch up with finances and other things my fault. Not one soul from this tiny church that I have been attending for ### years, have reached out and ask how I am doing. Not one. I used to text them but I realized if I don't they don't. Maybe they saw me in my sin, but they could have still sent a scripture to encourage. I still tithe and I still consider going butbI feel so forgotten. I am angry.

 

[Articles]

We hear the depth of your pain, frustration, and anger, and we want you to know that your feelings are valid, God can handle your raw honesty. The weight of eviction, financial strain, infertility, immigration battles, and the silence of those you expected to stand by you is overwhelming. It’s no wonder you’re crying out, "Where is God?" In moments like these, it’s easy to feel abandoned, even by Him. But Scripture reminds us that God is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18) and that He collects every one of our tears in a bottle (Psalm 56:8). Your anger doesn’t push Him away; it’s often the first step toward a deeper, more honest relationship with Him.

You’ve tried to do things "His way," and it feels like it’s never enough. We want to gently remind you that God’s ways are not a transaction, "do this, and I’ll do that." His love isn’t earned; it’s a gift (Ephesians 2:8-9). The struggles you’re facing aren’t proof that He’s withholding His goodness; they’re evidence of a fallen world where sin, injustice, and brokenness still reign. But Jesus entered into that brokenness to redeem it. He didn’t promise an easy life, but He did promise to be with us in the storm (Matthew 28:20). The fact that you’re still reaching for Him, even in anger, shows that His Spirit is at work in you.

We must address a few things with love and truth. First, your reference to your "significant other" is concerning. If this relationship is not a marriage, we urge you to consider whether it aligns with God’s design for intimacy and commitment. Scripture is clear that sexual intimacy is reserved for marriage between one man and one woman (Hebrews 13:4, 1 Corinthians 6:18-20). If this is a struggle for you, we encourage you to seek accountability and prayer as you pursue holiness. God’s boundaries are for our protection, not to restrict us.

Second, your question about where Jesus is in the midst of suffering is one that believers have wrestled with for centuries. The answer isn’t simple, but we know this: Jesus wept at the tomb of Lazarus (John 11:35). He doesn’t stand at a distance from our pain; He enters into it. The fact that you’re even asking these questions shows that your heart is still seeking Him, and that is a sign of His presence. The Iranian believers you mentioned are seeing dreams because God is pursuing them in the darkness, just as He is pursuing you. His silence doesn’t mean His absence.

As for your church, it’s painful when those who should be family fail us. But we want to gently challenge you: have you shared your struggles with them beyond surface-level updates? Sometimes, people don’t reach out because they assume you’re doing well or because they don’t know how to help. That doesn’t excuse their silence, but it’s worth considering whether there’s an opportunity to rebuild those connections. Isolation feeds despair, but community, even imperfect community, can be a lifeline. If you’ve been attending for years, you are part of that family, and they should know your needs.

Now, let’s pray together:

Father God, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up our sister who is hurting deeply. Lord, she is angry, exhausted, and feels forgotten, but we know You see her. You know every detail of her struggle, the eviction, the infertility, the immigration battle, the silence of her church. Jesus, You are the God who collects tears and hears cries. Meet her in this moment. Remind her that You are not distant or indifferent; You are Immanuel, God with us. Forgive us, Lord, for the times we’ve made faith about performance rather than Your grace. Help her to rest in Your love, not in what she can do for You. We pray for her significant other’s asylum case, grant wisdom to the judge and favor in the outcome. Protect them both from despair and from the enemy’s lies that You have abandoned them. Lord, we ask for healing in her body and in her heart. If there are areas where she has strayed from Your design, give her the strength to walk in repentance and restoration. Surround her with Your people who will love her well. And if her church has failed her, raise up others who will speak life into her. We declare that You are working even when we can’t see it. In Jesus’ mighty name, we pray. Amen.

We also want to encourage you with this truth: God is not punishing you. The hardships you’re facing are not a reflection of His displeasure. Jesus already took the punishment for sin on the cross (Isaiah 53:5). Your struggles are not a sign that He’s withholding His love; they’re an invitation to lean harder into Him. The enemy wants you to believe that God has forgotten you, but Scripture says the opposite: "Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yes, these may forget, yet I will not forget you!" (Isaiah 49:15).

If you’re open to it, we’d love to hear more about your journey with Christ. Have you placed your faith in Him as your Savior? If not, we’d gently share that salvation comes only through Jesus (John 14:6, Acts 4:12). He is the way, the truth, and the life, and no one comes to the Father except through Him. If you have already trusted in Him, we encourage you to cling to that truth even when it feels like He’s silent. His delays are not denials.

Lastly, we want to leave you with this: "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up" (Galatians 6:10). Your story isn’t over. God is still writing it, and He is faithful. Keep pressing into Him, even in your anger. He can handle it.

 

[hostadmin]

We read your words and felt the weight you’re carrying, an eviction you tried to head off, years of longing for a child, a court date that could upend your household, and then the quiet sting of a church that hasn’t checked in on you at all. That’s so much to hold alone. Please hear us: your anger doesn’t shock God. He knows the hurt, frustration, and fear sitting underneath it. You’ve been doing everything you can, yet everything feels fragile. It makes sense that you’re asking hard questions about where God is and whether He sees you.

When we’re running on empty, anger often serves as a signal, a deep, honest alarm that something is very wrong. Right now, that alarm is telling you that you need to be known and not forgotten. That’s not a weak desire; it’s how God made us. While nothing silences the sting of a church that’s been absent, you might consider one small step: reach out to a single person in that congregation you once felt close to. Not to blame, just to say, “I’m really struggling and could use prayer.” Sometimes people are oblivious, not malicious; a simple nudge may open the door you need right now.

While you navigate the legal and immigration challenges, we’re glad you have an attorney. Keep leaning on whatever practical support you can gather. And in the quiet, you don’t have to tidy up your feelings before you talk to God, pour them out honestly. He can handle your rage and your exhaustion better than anyone.

Let’s pray together now.

Lord Jesus, you see this daughter in all her pain, the fear of losing her home, the ache of infertility, the anxiety over tomorrow’s immigration hearing, and the deep loneliness of feeling abandoned. Meet her in the middle of these storms. Give wisdom and favor in the legal processes, and grant a just and merciful outcome for her partner’s case. Surround her with even one faithful friend who will stay close. Most of all, quiet her heart with your presence, even when nothing around her makes sense. We ask for your provision and your peace, in your name. Amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

I have declared my ways, and You heard me. That is the very language of the Psalmist, and it is what you have done in this hour. You have poured out a bitter soul before God, and I am persuaded He has heard. The anger, the sense of betrayal, the loneliness, do not imagine these are hidden from Him. To speak so is far better than that cold distance of the worldling who never communes with his Maker at all.

You say you hate God. Yet I hear beneath it the cry of one who expected much from His hand and found only the rod. It is the wounded gasp of a heart that tried to walk in His way and was met with an eviction notice, a closed womb, and a silent church. Remember the cry that tore the heavens: My God, my God, why have You forsaken Me? Our sinless Savior so entered into our darkness that He felt the very absence of God, not because He was unholy, but because He was made sin for us. That cry was not the end; it was the deepest point, and from it rose the victory. Hold fast, then, to the personal pronoun: my God, my God. If you cannot call Him Father, then cling to Him as your God. Let nothing pry your fingers from that word. If you must drown, drown at the foot of the Cross.

As for the church that has not sought you: the house of God is built of living stones, but the mortar is often weak, and the stones may chill. It is a wound that festers when those who teach the Word forget to speak a word in season to the weary. I do not excuse them, the watchmen are to be awake, but I charge you, do not let their failure become a quarrel between you and the Lord. You have declared your ways; now let Him teach you His statutes. Go again to that assembly, not for the love of them, but because God dwells in the midst of His people, however ragged the visible company may be. Forgive, as you have been forgiven.

Your earthly sorrows, the eviction, the weeping over a child not given, the trembling for your beloved before the judge, these are deep waters. And in deep waters we learn our utter helplessness. It is when we are near to God that we are safe, and so the blows of providence are meant to separate us from the love of ease and drive us to our God. You ask where He is. He is at the helm of that storm-tossed vessel. He is in the dreams of Iranians and in the groans of the oppressed. And He is in this very trial, calling you to seek His face. In their affliction they will seek Me early. Do not despise the chastening. Let it bring you once more to honest dealing with Him: I have declared my ways, my sin, my blame, my weakness, and You heard me.

There is peace to be had. It is not a feeling first, but a fact: being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. God, for Christ's sake, has forgiven the one who trusts Him. Look to that. Your conscience may roar, your circumstances may scream, but if you are hidden in the riven Rock, there is no ground of quarrel between you and your heavenly Father. Even now, in the midst of the years, cry out, O Lord, revive Your work, and begin with this poor, tempest-tossed heart. The hour is critical. Go, declare your ways once more upon your knees, and wait. He will yet plead your cause, and you, by His grace, shall yet stand and plead His.