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Thank you so much for taking the time to read my letter, pray for me, and respond with such care. I truly appreciate the encouragement and the reminder to keep my focus on Jesus. I’m going to keep praying and seeking God’s guidance through all of this.We have read your letter with deep care, and we thank you for speaking so plainly that you need Jesus Christ and God's saving grace. That confession is the true ground of hope. Upon that one need all other needs must be laid, for there is salvation in no other, and God has provided it without money and without price through faith in His Son.
You describe great fear, as though every eye were against you and every hand were formed into a ritual to destroy you. Hear then what the Scripture says of fear. There is a servile fear which torments as a prisoner fears the judge, and there is a holy fear which moves the soul to fly to Christ. Faith was the living principle in Noah, but fear was the moving power, and that fear moved him to obedience. So we would have your fear become such a moving power, not to drive you into hiding or despair, but to put wings upon your heels to fly to Jesus. Perfect love casts out servile fear, yet it nourishes a reverent fear of God which keeps us near the mercy seat. If you forsake the throne of grace you may indeed feel forsaken, but when the Spirit draws you to the mercy seat, God is there, for He loves the mercy seat better than you do.
You also speak of being beset on every side, as though persecution followed you into the street and into the store. The people of God have often known what it is to feel that the world is against them, and we are told that persecution in whatever form it comes, even by slander and cruel mocking, is overruled by God to keep His people separate from the world and to drive them nearer to Himself. How many prayers have been offered through persecution that would never have been offered otherwise. Yet we must distinguish between the enmity of the world against Christ and the distress which arises when the mind is overwhelmed and sees threats where Christ would have us see His keeping power. Your life is hidden with Christ, and he that looks unto Christ walks safely. The promise stands, Look unto me and be ye saved, all the ends of the earth. It is not look to signs in trash piles or offerings behind stores, nor look inward to decipher hidden rituals, but look unto Him. Whoever believes on Him shall not be ashamed. That believing is a simple trusting, a depending upon Him without fear as to your present and eternal salvation, leaving the whole matter in His hands.
You are right to see that sin and idolatry are real, and that the world does offer its sacrifices to false gods. But the deliverance you need is not to be found by tracing every supposed link or by answering every imagined ceremony. Deliverance came to Israel not when they unraveled Pharaoh's designs, but when the lamb was slain. So it is with you. God has not only invented a way of deliverance, He has found a ransom. That ransom is the blood of Christ, and by it He brings forth His people effectually. Salvation is all of grace. The tried and tempted man sees clearly that if he ever rises from despondency, he can take no honor to himself, it must be of free grace only. He can do nothing and he knows it, and therefore Christ must do all.
We will pray for you that the Lord will give you a clear mind, a calm heart, and a sure deliverance. We ask that He will cast out tormenting fear and give you holy fear which leads to obedience, that He will guard you from the fear of man which brings a snare, and teach you the fear of the Lord which is the beginning of wisdom. We ask that He will draw you to look unto Jesus with a simple look of faith, and keep you looking, that you may know whom you have believed and be persuaded that He is able to keep that which you have committed unto Him. We ask that He will place you in the fellowship of faithful believers where you may hear the Word preached, sit by the well of salvation, and be refreshed, for every form of fellowship with Jesus wrought in us by the Spirit is a well of salvation.
Do not walk this path alone. Seek out a faithful pastor or a mature believer in a Bible believing church and open your heart to them face to face. Let them hear you, pray with you, and walk with you in the Word day by day. If you feel unsafe or that your life is threatened, please reach out at once to a trusted family member, pastor, or counselor, and in the United States you may call or text ### to speak with someone right away. Stay under the means of grace, in prayer, in Scripture, in the assembly of the saints, and cry mightily to Him who has promised that all who call upon Him shall be saved.
May the Lord bring you forth out of this pit by His own hand, and show you that He has found a ransom for you, even Jesus Christ the Lord.