and that's what we called the devil's greatest lie. you are a very small piece in YHWH grand scheme yet very strategic. without your very small piece which you called insignificant, the whole puzzle can not be deemed as complete.
Bishemo shel YESHUA HAMASHIACH I pray for this desperate fellow christian to be visitted personally by the RUACH ELOHIM, RUACH HAKODESH. amen
hanging there buddy, gut up. keep running, keep your faith to the end ....