God truly does exist and He does love and care for you, but first you need to ask the Lord God to forgive you of your sins { the Holy word of God is the Bible and it tells us that ALL have sinned and come short of the glory of God }. Sin separates us from a Holy God, but God's only Son Jesus came to this earth as a sacrifice for all of our sins when He gave his life on the cross which put us all back in a right relationship with God. You need to confess that you are a sinner and that you need the Lord to forgive you, you need to believe that Jesus died on the cross for you and now make Him your Lord and Savior, if you believe this, then you are now a child of the living God and He will always help you. You really do need to get a Holy Bible to read, you cannot lead a life that is pleasing to God without His help. Life will always be challenging even for Christians, but now you have a heavenly Father who will never fail you. Your life matters and the Lord has you here for a reason, do not give up on life, your life is precious to God. Many people are praying for you,