L
lmh29
Guest
A few years ago a relationship I was in fell apart. It killed me. I lost my mind and was in emotional distress every day. It threw me into terrible depression. I had no hope and no where else to turn so I turned to God. For the first time in my life I turned to God's promises, especially of granted prayer. I had known of Jesus' sacrifice all, but I didn't realize all of the help that was available. I knew that God could work miracles and so that is what I asked him to do. I asked God to restore our relationship. I prayed about this for almost two years. I told God I needed Him to do this, so I could be better and also for my faith. I had never turned to God like this before, I needed everything in His promises to be true. I needed to not be confused. I asked God for true, triumphant hope in this situation. I asked God to bring him back only if he would never leave again. I didn't need games. I didn't need lies, I didn't need confusion, and I didn't need false hope. Many times throughout this struggle I asked God if I was on the right path, nothing seemed to be happening. I believe from the begininng that God guided me to His word and his promises. Everyday I turned to God, especially in times of confusion and despair. In those times when I needed guidance or a sign it was there. God was there. He would show me something in scripture, or a quote somewhere, or in sermon, or anywhere, He would show me or tell me something that told me not to give up, to be persistent in prayer, and that God keeps His promises. It happened almost everytime I called to God. I hope it wasn't coincidence and I hope I wasn't somehow fooling myself, though I don't see how that is possible. Eventually God restored our relationship. But now it is falling apart. This guy is confused and torn about who he wants to be with. While we were apart he entered another relationship. Even though he was in another relationship he came back to me. I didn't talk to him at all. He came back. He made the decision and said that he just wanted to be with me. I know he must care about her, but I don't understand why he would come back to me if he didn't want to be with me. I turned to God to restore us, but I also turned to God as my refuge. I turned to God to protect me and my heart and to give me peace. I have many insecurities and extreme anxiety. Much of my anxiety is because I am afraid that I did, or will, misunderstand God and his promises, especially when I need them most. I am afraid this guy will leave me again. I am afraid that this guy's heart and love is not with me. I am afraid I have somehow been fooled again. I turned to God. I trusted God. I asked God for help, how could I misunderstand? I believe God guided me. I believe God led me to His promises, to His help. He didn't have to show me that hope. He didn't have to show me stories and such of His miracles and granted prayer and such. I am terrified. I cannot go back to that hell again. Please pray that I put God first in my life, for my fear in this situation has blinded me some. Please pray that I didn't understand God's promises and help and guidance. Please pray that God heals and restores Ron and I's (Lauren is my name) relationship. Please pray that all of our trouble and fears come to pass. Please pray that God heals Ron of his confusion and that Ron chooses me. Please pray for peace in my life. Please pray for my insecurities and fears to go away. Please pray that I did not misunderstand God. The little bit of hope and life that I have left have been put into God and his promises and that hope that he could, and would, help our relationship and change our situation. Please pray because I feel as though I am hopeless and as though God has stopped acting in my life. I feel like I have been fooled. Please pray I did not misunderstand and do this to myself. Please pray that God ressurects within Ron and I the embers of our love and that they will burn into a flame that cannot, and will not, ever be extinguished. Please pray that God gets Ron over this other person. Please pray that God helps Ron remember why he chose me and how desperate he was to be with me. Please pray that the past 3 years of constant prayer haven't been in vain. Please pray that I didn't understand and that God will help Ron and I and keep us together forever, and that it will be true and real forever. Please pray that God acts quickly. Please also pray for Ron's faith in God, and our relationship. Ron's faith in God is very little, if there is even any. Please pray for me. I really, truely believed God. I was so happy and hopeful, especially when God granted my prayer. Now I feel so alone and deceived. Please pray God will work miracles in my life. Please pray I didn't misunderstand. Please pray for Ron. Please pray for me. Please pray for Ron and I and our relationship. Please pray for Ron and I's faith in God and in each and our relationship. I need a miracle. I need help. Please pray, in Jesus' name. Amen.
