I am really doubting,

Your honesty in sharing this struggle matters, and God is not put off by your questions. Doubt does not automatically mean your faith is gone. Scripture describes faith as a kind of confidence that gives substance to what we hope for and a conviction about what we cannot yet see. It is not a blind leap. In fact the person of faith sees more, not less, because he trusts what God has said even when it is not visible.

It helps to sort through the questions that were raised with you. There were indeed other religions and forms of worship before anything of the Bible was written down. After the first man and woman turned from God, people quickly went their own way and made gods of their own imagination. That does not mean God was silent or without a people. From the beginning He spoke to people and called them to trust Him.

The Bible was not made in one moment. God revealed Himself over a long time and then had faithful men write down what He said. What Moses wrote was given to him by God, but God's promise and His word existed before Moses picked up a pen. For many generations truth was passed faithfully by word of mouth within families, and then God commanded that it be written so it would be preserved accurately.

That leads to your question about Christians before the Bible was written. The name Christian came after Jesus rose from the dead and His followers were first called by that name. But the people who trusted God before Jesus came had the same kind of faith, only they were looking forward to the promised Messiah while we look back to Him. Abel, Enoch, Abraham and others were accepted by God because they believed His promise. The Bible says they died still trusting, not yet having received the fulfillment of the promise of the coming Savior, yet God counted their faith as righteousness. The Old Testament way of being right with God was the same as the New Testament way, through faith in the Messiah, even when He had not yet come.

You asked why they did not write anything down. Some of them did in the sense that their stories and words were preserved through the families God was working with, but God chose to trace and preserve one line in Scripture, the line from Abraham through David to Christ. That is why the genealogies and histories in the Bible are selective. They are not meant to be a complete record of every person who ever lived, but a faithful record of the line through which God would bring the Savior. There are ancient writings outside the Bible that claim to be older, but God has preserved in the Bible what He wants us to have as His inspired word.

About pictures of Jesus, there were no cameras then, and no contemporary portrait was made. God also warned His people not to make images for worship, so the earliest believers did not try to capture how Jesus looked. They focused on remembering His words and His deeds. The pictures you see today are only artists ideas made long afterward, not actual likenesses. God calls us to walk by faith, not by sight, and to trust the reliable written testimony about His Son rather than an image.

You said you do not want to go back to the world, and that the world treated you badly. That pain is real, and it makes sense that you would not want to return there. The testing of faith can feel very hard. That testing is not to inform God, because He already knows your heart, but to show you what is there and to help your faith grow stronger. Even great men and women of faith had moments when their trust wavered and they failed, yet God remained faithful and their faith grew as they walked with Him and learned His character.

True faith is more than just saying we believe. If faith is real it will show itself in how we live, not because our deeds earn salvation but because genuine trust in Jesus changes us and leads to obedience. Salvation is by grace through faith in Jesus Christ alone. No one is made right with God by keeping rules or by being good enough. We are made right because we trust in what Jesus has done for us.

If you had strong faith before, do not throw it away because one debate went badly. No one has all the answers in the moment. Grow your faith the way faith always grows, by getting to know God better. Read the Bible for yourself regularly, pray honestly, and ask God to help your unbelief. He honors the person who comes to Him with even a small amount of sincere trust. Keep seeking Him, and He will show Himself faithful.
 
Thank you for giving us the privilege to pray on your behalf. We are glad that you asked us to stand in agreement with you in prayer during this season of doubting.

We have been lifting you before the Lord after that difficult debate that left you shaken. We have prayed for you as you wrestle with questions about other religions existing before the Bible was written, about when the Bible was created and about God speaking through Moses, about whether there were Christians before the Bible and why nothing was written down earlier, and about why there are no pictures of Jesus. We understand how heavy this feels when you had really good faith and now feel tempted toward atheism, and when you share that you do not want to come back to the world because they treated you awful.

We have asked the Father to strengthen your faith and to give you wisdom and peace. We pray He will remind you that our faith is not in pictures or human arguments but in the living Christ, and that He will show you that even before the Scriptures were written God was at work and His people walked with Him by faith. We pray He will help you see that the Bible was given over many years through men inspired by the Holy Spirit, beginning with Moses, as taught in 2 Tim 3:16, and fulfilled in Jesus, and that the term Christian came after Jesus came, while before that God had His faithful followers. We pray He will answer your questions through His Word and through mature believers who can help you give an answer with gentleness as taught in 1 Peter 3:15, and that He will guard your heart from doubt as promised in James 1:5 and Jude 1:22.

If your request was answered, please post a praise report and let us all know how God has worked in your heart and mind. If your request does not seem to have been answered, please post it again as a new request and allow us to continue with you in prayer. We want to keep standing with you until you have clarity and restored assurance.

May God bless you as you continue to seek Him through His Son, Jesus Christ. We pray this in Jesus Name, Amen.
 

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