Fos3050
Account Closed
A few years ago, I got out of a terrible relationship. I then began to gain a connection with God after something pulled inside me telling me to talk to him. I prayed for about 2 years for a good guy much like my dad and who was good to God. Sure enough last January I met this wonderful guy, Adam. Other than looks you would swear he was my dad by they way he talked his mannerisms, sense of humor...everything! When I had met him, my mother hit rock bottom with a pain pill addiction and I didn't lose her physically, but in every other nature of the word. She changed into a person I don't even recognize and k have been really struggling with it internally. My whole family has made several attempts to help her but they were futile. I've prayed for her but it doesn't seem as though she is ready to change. I have been keeping quite about it and didn't tell adam about it until recent months because I was embarrassed and didn't want him to break up with me over my family. I eventually told him and he was very supportive. But I still had so much bottled up teetering between being the hero who saved my family to completely walking away from it, all the while feeling guilt anger fear etc. We dated for a year and in that year Adams dad passed of brain cancer. For 8 months I stood by and helped the family. But I had resentment built up because of the situation with my own family. I had been taking it out on adam and not even realizing why or in what ways I was wronging him. I was so trapped in my own mind with my moms problem. Two weeks ago we got into a really big fight that was actually over a whole lot of nothing but I said hurtful things, accused him of false things, and invaded his privacy. I went to his home and yelled at him. At that point he said I was controlling and possessive of him and he called it off. He then blocked my number and I haven't been able to speak to him about any of this which I so long to do. In these weeks of silence i reevaluated myself. I knew I was acting out or character and couldn't explain why I said or did the things I did. I decided to see a counselor in hopes of finding the issues. She said I was mildly codependent because of my moms addictions which caused me to be controlling and overbearing to adam. Nothing that can't be worked on or fixed. But now I realize exactly what my wrongs are and how I treated adam. I want more than anything for him to please open communication with me again and to get a second chance to do things right. I have been praying daily multiple times for this and I have been working on myself with the counselor. On top of all of this, the distance between adam and I made our relationship difficult at times, but I couldn't move closer or go in on a house with him like he wanted to do because my job didn't pay well and I had been waiting on a promised promotion at work. The week we broke up I got the promotion and now have the opportunity to move closer or to help pay for a place together. Please pray that adam forgives me and we can reconcile and restore our relationship. Pray that I can be a better person to him and that he is willing to have a change of heart and give me the opportunity to show him that I want to change and do right for myself for him and for us. I haven't wanted something so badly in all my life. I do love this man and he is exactly what I've prayed to God for. Please pray that my mistakes have no ruined what I prayed so hard for.
Thank you so much. It means more to me than you will ever know to pray for me and help in this miracle of God.
God bless
Amen.
Thank you so much. It means more to me than you will ever know to pray for me and help in this miracle of God.
God bless
Amen.
