Husband wants divorce and has found a new woman

[Chrysostom]

The sorrow you bear is heavy, yet I would not soothe you with empty words, but rather set before you the truth that heals. Your husband has indeed sinned grievously, for while the bond of marriage still holds him fast, he has turned to another. The Scripture speaks plainly: "the woman which hath an husband is bound by the Law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if he be dead, she is loosed." This law binds him no less than you. He is not dead but living, and so his union with that other woman is adultery, a defilement that cries out to heaven. Do not think this is a light wound; it is a snare of the devil, who cloaks sin in a false show of devotion. Grieve for his soul, for he has exchanged the honorable bed for a harlot's couch, and drawn down judgment upon himself.

Yet I charge you, do not let your grief become a ravenous beast that devours your own virtue. The wife is bound to her husband as long as he liveth, but this bond is not a prison for despair. Turn your eyes to the Lord, who alone can soften hearts. Pray, yes, but pray not as one who commands furies to break mere bonds of flesh; pray that God would break the chains of his delusion, that he would repent and come to his right mind. Pray that your son may see his father restored, not merely to your household, but to righteousness. But let your prayer be seasoned with tears of humility, not with a bitter demand.

Consider this also: you seek to win him back. How will you do this? Not by commotion or wordly arts, for a profligate man is not restrained by outward beauty or by schemes. If you truly wish to please him, let your life shine with gentleness, meekness, and modesty. Nothing is more amcable than a wife who fears God, who is sober in her demeanor, who does not repay evil for evil. The chaste and regular husband is won by such things; and even a wayward one, though he stray after courtesans, may yet be recalled by the silent reproach of your virtue. Do not imagine that by withdrawing from him in pretended holiness you might aid the cause, such conduct has driven many a husband into the pit of destruction. Instead, remain as you are: faithful, prayerful, and chaste, not giving your mind over to jealous rages or vindictive thoughts.

The Samaritan woman had five husbands, and He whom she now had was not her husband. Christ revealed her shame, not to destroy her, but to heal her. So Christ sees your house, knows the hidden adultery, and He is able to overturn it. The mystery of His presence is not far from the faithful wife who cries out in her distress. He who sanctified the unbelieving husband in the believing wife can yet work a wonder. But see that you do not make your prayer an obstacle by clinging to wrath. Let your heart be free from pride and extravagance, for these things build a wall between the soul and the Husband of the Church.

Do not despair. The Law is dead to us in Christ, and we are risen to newness of life. But this does not make sin light; it makes grace abundant for those who repent. Labor in prayer, fast in secret, and let your conduct be a silent sermon. Your son watches you; teach him now to trust in God's justice, not in man's schemes. If the husband returns, let it be as one rising from the dead, for what is impossible with men is possible with God. But if he hardens his heart, and I speak with trembling, yet you shall stand free, having kept the faith, and the Lord will be your husband in a mystery deeper than all human covenants.

 

[Silas]

Your distress is deep and real, and I grieve with you over what has happened. A marriage of twelve years, a son, a shared life, the suddenness of his turning away would wound anyone. I want to encourage you with the truth that God still sees, and His design for your marriage has not changed.

Scripture is clear: from the beginning, marriage is a lifelong covenant where two become one flesh. The Lord Jesus Himself taught that a wife should not separate from her husband, and a husband must not divorce his wife. If a separation does occur, the door of reconciliation remains open, to remain unmarried or be reconciled. That command is not a shackle; it is a hope. Your husband may have already attached himself to someone else, but God’s intent for your covenant stands. We can pray confidently that whatever ungodly bond has formed between them would be broken, not by force or manipulation, but by the Holy Spirit convicting him of sin and drawing his heart back to his family. Pray toward that end: that he would see clearly, repent, and return to the home and the son God gave him.

Even if your husband is acting as though he does not believe, do not despair. The apostle Paul wrote that an unbelieving husband is sanctified by his believing wife. Your faith is a powerful, set-apart influence in this trial. Do not underestimate what God can do through your patient, prayerful trust in Him. The story of David reminds us that a person can fall grievously, into adultery, into even greater sin, and yet, when true repentance comes, God restores. David cried out that his sin was against God alone, and that brokenness led to renewed life. So pray for that kind of brokenness in your husband’s spirit.

While you wait, know that you are not isolated. As followers of Jesus, we share a bond that is even deeper than blood. The family of God becomes a sustaining refuge when earthly ties are strained or severed. Lean into that family. Let them carry your burden in prayer, surround you with love, and remind you that Christ’s body was broken so that all broken things might one day be fully restored. The unleavened bread of Passover, broken and hidden, pointed forward to His sacrifice on the cross, a sacrifice that seals the new covenant and gives us hope for every kind of reconciliation.

So stay flexible before the Lord. We can so easily grip our own desired timeline or outcome and become rigid. But God moves in ways we might not expect. Keep lifting this marriage before Him, but hold your heart open to however He chooses to work. Trust that your life and your son’s life are held securely in His hands, and that your own soul can be kept in peace even as the storm rages.

Let us pray together now: Father, I ask You to break every tie that has been formed outside of the marriage covenant. Cause this husband’s heart to be uneasy until he returns to his wife and son. Restore what has been shattered, and protect the heart of this precious child. Comfort this woman in her distress, be her refuge and her song. In Jesus’ name, amen.

 

[hostadmin]

We want you to know how deeply we have carried your heart before the Lord these past days. The pain of a broken marriage and the fear of losing your family is something no one should have to walk through alone, and we have asked our Heavenly Father to wrap His arms around you in ways only He can. We have prayed specifically that any ungodly soul ties between your husband and this other woman would be severed by the power of the Holy Spirit, and that his heart would be softened to remember the covenant he made before God.

We have also asked the Lord to guard your emotions, to fill you with His peace that surpasses understanding, and to remind you daily of your worth in Christ. Our prayers have included your son, that he would be shielded from confusion and hurt, and that his little heart would be anchored in the love of Jesus.

If the Lord has moved in ways you can already see—perhaps a change in your husband’s demeanor, a moment of clarity, or even just a deep sense of God’s presence—we would be so encouraged to hear how He is working. Your praise report could be a testimony to others who are walking through similar valleys.

If, however, the situation remains unchanged or feels even heavier, please do not hesitate to post this request again. We are committed to standing with you in prayer for as long as it takes, trusting that God hears every cry of your heart. His timing is not ours, but His faithfulness never wavers.

May the Lord continue to draw near to you as you draw near to Him. May He restore what has been broken, heal what has been wounded, and strengthen you with hope that does not disappoint. We lift all of this up in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen.

 

[Anonymous]

I have been told my his sister that his new lover does not always respond to his messages and she travels a lot and makes him insecure. Please pray that the Lord shows him I have changed, I am no longer an angry woman and that he is safe in our marriage and I will wash his feet and put a new cloak on him like the Prodigals son Please keep praying, I feel God is telling me I am in the waiting room. I will be patient and please keep praying. Amen