Silas
Beloved of All
Your honest and painful words have been heard, and the weight you have carried for years is not hidden from God. To endure a husband turning away from prayer and from the Bible, to watch him embrace teachings he once opposed like gnosticism and astrology and seeking guidance from ancestors, to feel alone in your own home while also living with epilepsy and the loss and stress your family has faced, is crushing mentally and spiritually. It is understandable that you feel discouraged and isolated, even when you know the Lord is with you.
God is both able and willing to soften a heart, and that truth rests on who Jesus is. He is not only a good teacher who points to God, He is God Himself, worthy of worship and prayer. When Jesus spoke of the resurrection He affirmed that the dead will rise and that Scripture is true, and in that same teaching He showed that marriage as we know it belongs to this life. In heaven people will not marry as they do now but will be as the angels. For now, marriage is a profound mystery of two becoming one. The Hebrew word for one used to describe God as one Lord describes a compound unity, two becoming one flesh. Your covenant of more than nineteen years matters deeply to God in this life, even as eternity will be different. That is why your faithfulness in this covenant, while holding fast to truth, is significant.
The sign that a heart has truly turned to Christ is repentance that shows itself in change and restoration. When tax collectors and sinners came to Jesus, the evidence of real conversion was that they turned, they changed direction, they were made new. A profession alone is not the proof. Your husband once prayed with you and with your family, and now he says prayer itself is wrong and that the true God is only inward and that worship of Jesus is a lie taught by others. Those ideas directly oppose what Scripture teaches. The Bible teaches that we pray to the Father through Jesus, that Jesus receives worship as Lord, and that seeking guidance from stars and from the dead is forbidden and deceptive. His present path is not growth, it is wandering, and what he needs is not affirmation of that path but repentance and return to the Lord who alone saves through Jesus Christ.
There is encouragement for you in the story of Esther. She was joined to a husband who ruled over a vast empire, a man who did not call for her for thirty days and whose presence could not be approached lightly. Yet God placed her in that difficult position for a purpose. Through quiet faithfulness, courage, and prayer she had influence not only in her own home but even on the next generation, on her stepson who later became king. Your situation is in some ways similar. You feel you cannot even have a conversation without being seen as unsupportive, and your sons are watching and absorbing what they see. Your sixteen year old beginning to say he is not into religion reflects the influence he is under. Like Esther, your steady, prayerful presence in the home, continuing to speak truth in love and to live it, can have influence beyond what you see now, both on your husband and on your sons who still live with you.
You asked if God is willing after more than four years of praying. Scripture says God desires that none should perish but that all should come to repentance. His willingness is not in question, but His way is to call for repentance and faith in Jesus alone. He does not bless or affirm teachings that deny Christ, but He does hear the prayers of a wife who intercedes for her husband and children. Do not let discouragement keep you from praying with your sons. Even short, consistent prayer, reading Scripture together, and gently teaching them why you worship Jesus and why you do not follow astrology or seek ancestors, plants seeds God can use. You are not hindering your husband's growth by remaining faithful to Christ, you are holding the line of truth in your home. Continue to seek wise, biblically faithful counsel around you so you are not isolated, and guard your own health and peace as you trust God to fight this battle in ways you cannot.
We join our faith with yours now. Father, in the name of Jesus, we ask You to have mercy on this husband, to convict him of the lies he has believed, to turn him from gnostic teaching and astrology and ancestor seeking, and to bring him to true repentance and faith in Jesus as Lord and Savior who is to be worshiped and prayed to. Soften his heart, open his eyes to the truth of Your Word, and restore to him a desire to pray and to lead his family in truth. Protect this wife who is weary and this family, strengthen her in her epilepsy and in her spirit, guard her sons, especially the sixteen year old, from deception, and draw them to love You. Let this home again know the restoration that comes with true conversion. We ask this trusting that You are able and that You are willing to save, and we rest the outcome in Your hands. Amen.
God is both able and willing to soften a heart, and that truth rests on who Jesus is. He is not only a good teacher who points to God, He is God Himself, worthy of worship and prayer. When Jesus spoke of the resurrection He affirmed that the dead will rise and that Scripture is true, and in that same teaching He showed that marriage as we know it belongs to this life. In heaven people will not marry as they do now but will be as the angels. For now, marriage is a profound mystery of two becoming one. The Hebrew word for one used to describe God as one Lord describes a compound unity, two becoming one flesh. Your covenant of more than nineteen years matters deeply to God in this life, even as eternity will be different. That is why your faithfulness in this covenant, while holding fast to truth, is significant.
The sign that a heart has truly turned to Christ is repentance that shows itself in change and restoration. When tax collectors and sinners came to Jesus, the evidence of real conversion was that they turned, they changed direction, they were made new. A profession alone is not the proof. Your husband once prayed with you and with your family, and now he says prayer itself is wrong and that the true God is only inward and that worship of Jesus is a lie taught by others. Those ideas directly oppose what Scripture teaches. The Bible teaches that we pray to the Father through Jesus, that Jesus receives worship as Lord, and that seeking guidance from stars and from the dead is forbidden and deceptive. His present path is not growth, it is wandering, and what he needs is not affirmation of that path but repentance and return to the Lord who alone saves through Jesus Christ.
There is encouragement for you in the story of Esther. She was joined to a husband who ruled over a vast empire, a man who did not call for her for thirty days and whose presence could not be approached lightly. Yet God placed her in that difficult position for a purpose. Through quiet faithfulness, courage, and prayer she had influence not only in her own home but even on the next generation, on her stepson who later became king. Your situation is in some ways similar. You feel you cannot even have a conversation without being seen as unsupportive, and your sons are watching and absorbing what they see. Your sixteen year old beginning to say he is not into religion reflects the influence he is under. Like Esther, your steady, prayerful presence in the home, continuing to speak truth in love and to live it, can have influence beyond what you see now, both on your husband and on your sons who still live with you.
You asked if God is willing after more than four years of praying. Scripture says God desires that none should perish but that all should come to repentance. His willingness is not in question, but His way is to call for repentance and faith in Jesus alone. He does not bless or affirm teachings that deny Christ, but He does hear the prayers of a wife who intercedes for her husband and children. Do not let discouragement keep you from praying with your sons. Even short, consistent prayer, reading Scripture together, and gently teaching them why you worship Jesus and why you do not follow astrology or seek ancestors, plants seeds God can use. You are not hindering your husband's growth by remaining faithful to Christ, you are holding the line of truth in your home. Continue to seek wise, biblically faithful counsel around you so you are not isolated, and guard your own health and peace as you trust God to fight this battle in ways you cannot.
We join our faith with yours now. Father, in the name of Jesus, we ask You to have mercy on this husband, to convict him of the lies he has believed, to turn him from gnostic teaching and astrology and ancestor seeking, and to bring him to true repentance and faith in Jesus as Lord and Savior who is to be worshiped and prayed to. Soften his heart, open his eyes to the truth of Your Word, and restore to him a desire to pray and to lead his family in truth. Protect this wife who is weary and this family, strengthen her in her epilepsy and in her spirit, guard her sons, especially the sixteen year old, from deception, and draw them to love You. Let this home again know the restoration that comes with true conversion. We ask this trusting that You are able and that You are willing to save, and we rest the outcome in Your hands. Amen.
