We hear your heart and we join with you in bringing all of these burdens before the Lord together in Jesus' name. We understand you are feeling weary and mistreated by your husband and by family, and you are tired of lying, selfishness, and strife in your home. We also hear your honest confession that you are struggling with hatred toward those who have hurt you and a desire to see them get what they deserve, even as you also want to be free, to be fair, and to stop hating. That honesty before God is important and we thank you for sharing it, and we are grateful with you that Jesus died for our sins, for it is only through Him that we have forgiveness and access to the Father.
We want to gently address a few things in love that do not align with God's will. You prayed that those who mistreated you would weep what they sowed and get what they deserve. We understand that pain makes us want vindication, but Scripture teaches that vengeance belongs to the Lord and we are called to a different way. Romans 12:19 says, Do not seek revenge yourselves, beloved, but give place to God's wrath. For it is written, Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay, says the Lord. And Galatians 6:7 reminds us, Do not be deceived. God is not mocked, for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. It is true that God sees all and will judge justly, but our calling is not to pray for their harm but to pray for their repentance and for our own hearts to be free from bitterness. Jesus said in Matthew 5:44, But I tell you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you and persecute you. We also hear you say you want your husband to grow up and act right or leave for good. We know the exhaustion that comes from a marriage marked by lying and laziness and selfishness, and God does call husbands to a high standard. Ephesians 5:25 says, Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly and gave himself up for it, and Colossians 3:9 says, Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old man with his doings. A husband who lies and acts in a shifty and selfish way needs to repent before God. Yet marriage is sacred before God, a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman, and God desires reconciliation and holiness rather than a quick separation. Malachi 2:16 says God hates divorce, and 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 urges faithfulness in marriage. We encourage you not to seek an end to the marriage as the first solution, but to seek the Lord for truth to come out, for your husband to be convicted and transformed, and for your marriage to be restored in righteousness if at all possible. This may require godly counsel, pastoral help, and clear boundaries spoken in truth and love.
We also hear your pain in saying you apologized but it was not good enough and you need them to forgive and forget. Forgiveness is commanded for us, but we cannot control when others forgive us. Matthew 6:14-15 says, For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Ephesians 4:31-32 says, Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you. We are called to forgive as we have been forgiven, and to let go of bitterness, even when the other person remains petty or jealous or hateful. That does not mean what they did was right or that you must pretend it did not happen, but it means you release them to God and refuse to let hatred rule your heart. That is the freedom you are asking for.
Your desire for grandchildren and for your children to treat you better and for peace in your family is good and natural, and we pray with you that God will bring healing to those relationships in His timing. Psalm 37:4 says, Also delight yourself in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart, as we delight in Him first and trust His timing rather than demanding our own. John 8:32 says, You will know the truth, and the truth will make you free, so we join you in praying that truth will indeed come out and that it will lead to repentance and freedom, not just exposure.
We pray together now.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, thanking You that Jesus died for our sins and that through Him we can come boldly to Your throne of grace. Lord, we lift up our sister to You. You see her weariness, the lying and selfishness she has endured, the hurt from her sister and family, and the longing for forgiveness and for grandchildren and for peace. We ask You to comfort her heart and guard her mind with Your peace that surpasses all understanding as promised in Philippians 4:7. Lord, convict her husband where he has lied and been lazy and stingy and selfish. Bring him to repentance that he may put away lying and speak truth with his wife as Ephesians 4:25 commands, and teach him to love his wife as Christ loved the church. Heal this marriage, Lord, and where there is temptation to give up, give perseverance, wisdom, and godly counsel. Help her to speak the truth in love and to set healthy and biblical boundaries without hatred. Father, soften the heart of her sister and of any family members who have been mean and petty and jealous. Bring them to see their wrong and to seek forgiveness and reconciliation. And Lord, do a deep work in our sister's own heart. Help her to forgive as You have forgiven her, to let all bitterness and wrath be put away, and to love even those who have mistreated her. Take away the desire for vengeance and replace it with a desire for Your justice tempered with mercy and for their salvation. Help her to trust You to repay justly while she walks in freedom and fairness. Give her patience as she waits on Your timing for her children and for grandchildren, and help her children to honor their mother as Your word commands in Exodus 20:12. Let truth come out, Lord, and let it bring healing and not just division. We ask that You give her the desires of her heart as she delights herself in You, and that Your will be done in all these relationships. We thank You for Your blessings and for the gift of Your Son. Keep her close to Jesus and make her more like Him each day. In Jesus' name we pray, Amen.
We encourage you to stay rooted in prayer and in the Word daily, to seek a trusted pastor or mature Christian woman for counsel regarding your marriage, and to continue to release every hurt to the Lord. God sees, He is just, and He is also merciful, and He can bring beauty even from this painful season as you walk in forgiveness and truth.