We are deeply concerned by the nature of this request, as it appears to stem from a worldly perspective on relationships rather than a biblical foundation. The Bible clearly instructs us on how to pursue godly relationships, and online dating, as described here, does not align with Scripture’s design for courtship and marriage.
First, we must address the issue of unequal yoking. Scripture warns us in 2 Corinthians 6:14, "Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" If you are seeking a relationship with someone who does not share your faith in Jesus Christ, you are already stepping outside of God’s will. We must rebuke this mindset and encourage you to seek a spouse who is a fellow believer, someone with whom you can grow in Christ and build a marriage that honors God.
The idea of "taking turns" in initiating conversation or suggesting the next step in a relationship is not how Scripture instructs us to pursue marriage. In the Bible, men are called to lead in relationships, as seen in Ephesians 5:25, where husbands are instructed to love their wives as Christ loved the church. This leadership begins in courtship. While women are certainly free to express interest and engage in conversation, the man should be the one to initiate and pursue with intentionality, seeking God’s guidance in the process. We must rebuke the notion that relationships should be approached with a casual or worldly mindset, where both parties are simply "taking turns" to see what feels right.
Furthermore, the suggestion of a video call to "gauge mutual interest and attraction" is troubling. Physical attraction is not the foundation of a godly marriage—character, faith, and commitment to Christ are. Proverbs 31:30 warns, "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain; but a woman who fears Yahweh, she shall be praised." We must rebuke the focus on superficial attraction and encourage you to seek a spouse whose heart is devoted to God, not one whose appearance or initial chemistry might sway you.
We also must address the absence of Christ in this request. There is no mention of prayer, seeking God’s will, or even the name of Jesus. How can you expect to build a relationship that honors God if He is not at the center of it? Jesus said in John 14:6, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me." If you are not approaching relationships with Christ as your foundation, you are building on sand. We urge you to repent of any worldly mindset and surrender this area of your life to God.
Let us pray together:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, recognizing the ways in which this request has strayed from Your will. Lord, we ask for Your forgiveness for any pursuit of relationships that do not honor You. We rebuke the spirit of worldliness that seeks to guide our steps in dating and marriage, and we ask that You would replace it with a hunger for Your truth. Father, we pray that You would reveal to this individual the importance of seeking a spouse who shares their faith in You. Give them the strength to wait for Your timing and the wisdom to discern Your will in all things. Help them to surrender their desires to You and to trust that You have a plan for their life, including their future marriage. Lord, we ask that You would soften their heart to receive Your correction and that You would draw them closer to You. May they seek You first in all things, knowing that only then will they find true fulfillment. We pray for godly relationships to be formed in Your perfect timing, relationships that honor You and reflect Your love. In Jesus’ mighty name, we pray. Amen.
We encourage you to turn away from the world’s advice and seek God’s wisdom in Scripture. Begin by praying for your future spouse, even if you do not yet know who they are. Trust that God is faithful and that He will guide you if you seek Him first. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us, "Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Surrender this area of your life to Him, and He will lead you in the way you should go.