We hear the deep pain and exhaustion in your words, and we grieve with you over the broken relationship with your daughter. The anger, frustration, and sense of helplessness you’re experiencing are real, but we must first turn to Scripture to examine our hearts and responses in light of God’s truth. The Bible calls us to a higher standard—one that reflects Christ’s love, patience, and wisdom, even in the face of unrepentant sin or hurtful behavior.
You mention that your daughter "can never be wrong, let go, or forgive," and that she is trying to hurt you. This is a painful reality, and it’s understandable that you feel worn out from trying to reconcile without seeing change. However, we must ask: *Have you responded in a way that honors God, even in your anger?* Ephesians 4:26-27 warns, *"Be angry, and don’t sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath, and don’t give place to the devil."* Your outburst, while perhaps fueled by years of pain, may have given the enemy a foothold in this situation. Proverbs 15:1 reminds us, *"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."* This doesn’t mean you ignore her sin or enable her behavior, but it does mean your response must be measured, prayerful, and rooted in love—not retaliation.
At the same time, Scripture is clear that we are not to endure abuse or relentless harm without setting boundaries. Jesus Himself spoke truth boldly and withdrew from those who rejected Him (Matthew 10:14). If your daughter is unrepentant and continues to wound you, you are not obligated to subject yourself to ongoing mistreatment. Proverbs 22:24-25 advises, *"Don’t befriend a hot-tempered man, and don’t associate with one who harbors anger, lest you learn his ways, and ensnare your soul."* Sometimes, love requires distance—not as punishment, but as protection for your own heart and witness.
Yet even in setting boundaries, we are called to forgive. Colossians 3:13 commands, *"bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, if any man has a complaint against any; even as Christ forgave you, so you also do."* Forgiveness does not mean excusing her behavior, trusting her blindly, or pretending the hurt doesn’t exist. It means releasing the debt she owes you into God’s hands, trusting Him to be the just Judge (Romans 12:19). Unforgiveness will only poison *your* soul, not hers.
Now, let’s address the cry of your heart: *"I beg and pray for truth and clarity."* Truth begins with examining yourself first. Have you contributed to this cycle in any way? Not to assign blame, but to ensure your own heart is right before God. Matthew 7:3-5 asks, *"Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but don’t consider the beam that is in your own eye?"* Pray for God to reveal any areas where you need to repent—whether in your reactions, expectations, or lack of trust in Him.
As for clarity, James 1:5 promises, *"If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach; and it will be given to him."* God *will* show you what to do. But clarity often comes in the waiting, not the demanding. Psalm 37:7 urges, *"Rest in Yahweh, and wait patiently for him. Don’t fret because of him who prospers in his way, because of the man who makes wicked plots happen."* Your daughter’s refusal to change does not mean God is inactive. He sees, He knows, and He will act in His timing.
Lastly, you say, *"I am done playing this game."* We understand the weariness, but be careful not to harden your heart. The "game" isn’t yours to win—it’s a battle for her soul. Your role is to love, pray, and speak truth, but the outcome belongs to God. 1 Peter 3:1-2 instructs, *"In the same way, wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; so that, even if any don’t obey the Word, they may be won by the behavior of their wives without a word, seeing your pure behavior in fear."* While this isn’t about submission to your daughter, the principle remains: *your Christlike response may be the very thing God uses to soften her heart.*
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**Let us pray together for you:**
Heavenly Father, we lift up this weary and wounded parent to You, asking for Your supernatural peace to guard their heart and mind in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7). Lord, You see the years of pain, the unanswered apologies, the relentless conflict, and the exhaustion of hoping for change. We ask that You would *first* search their heart (Psalm 139:23-24) and reveal any area where they have not walked in Your wisdom or love. Convict them where conviction is needed, and comfort them where they have been wronged.
Father, we pray for *truth* to flood their mind and spirit. Expose any lies they have believed—about themselves, their daughter, or Your goodness in this trial. Replace frustration with faith, bitterness with forgiveness, and despair with hope in You. Remind them that vengeance is Yours (Deuteronomy 32:35), and that You are fighting for them even when they cannot see it (Exodus 14:14).
Lord, we ask for *clarity* in how to move forward. Should they speak, or be silent? Draw near, or step back? Give them discernment to know when to engage and when to withdraw, always with the goal of honoring You. Surround them with godly counsel—those who will speak Your Word into this situation and not just echo their pain.
For their daughter, we pray for *repentance*. Soften her heart, Lord. Break the pride that refuses to admit wrong, the bitterness that refuses to forgive, and the rebellion that refuses to submit to You. Let her see the destruction of her ways, and draw her to Yourself. May she encounter Your love in a way that shatters her hardness.
Finally, Father, we ask for *strength* for this parent to endure. Renew their spirit when they are weak. Help them to forgive as You have forgiven them, to love as You have loved them, and to trust You with the outcome. Let this trial be a testimony of Your grace, not a monument to broken relationships.
We pray all this in the mighty name of *Jesus Christ*, our Redeemer and Peace. Amen.
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**Encouragement for you:**
You are not called to fix your daughter—you are called to be faithful. Her salvation and transformation are in God’s hands, not yours. Your job is to obey Him, love her as He loves you, and trust Him with the rest. If you must step back for a season, do so with prayer, not punishment. If you engage, do so with grace, not grudges.
Remember Joseph’s words to his brothers in Genesis 50:20: *"You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good."* God can redeem even this. Keep praying, keep trusting, and keep your eyes on Him—not on the storm. He is with you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding.
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