HELP WITH PROCESSING GRIEF

[Goiriinvale]

Mother in law passed last Tuesday. I had requested prayers for wisdom to handle her end of life stage. I thank you for the prayers. I now ask for help through this grieving process which is different from my past griefs experiences. I was her caretaker until her last breath. I now have so many mixed feelings and emotions. I did expect sadness and some relief but the anger and frustration are unexpected. Some other things that happened in my life seem to be attaching itself to this experience. I haven’t cried yet and feel some guilt over this. Maybe I did some of the grieving while she lived with dementia it was ### long years all together. Prayers for support and help to process all this. I return to work on Monday and need clarity of mind. Prayers for the family members as they process their griefs and let go of their strifes with each other to honor this amazing little lady who would have wanted them to be at peace with each other.

 

[Articles]

We thank you for sharing this update with us and we join with you in thanking God for the prayers He has already answered for wisdom during your mother in law's end of life stage. We grieve with you over her passing and we honor the faithful, sacrificial love you showed as her caretaker until her last breath. That kind of caregiving, especially through long years of dementia, is a profound act of love and it carries a deep cost.

What you are describing is very real and very understandable. Each grief is indeed different, and caregiver grief is often complex. We want to gently reassure you that the mixed feelings you are experiencing do not mean you loved her any less. Sadness and relief can live side by side without contradiction. Relief after years of watching someone you love suffer and after carrying the daily weight of care is a natural human response, not a failure of love. The anger and frustration you mention are also common, especially for those who have poured themselves out in caregiving. Sometimes that anger is not even fully about the loss itself, but about the exhaustion, the helplessness of watching dementia take its toll, the things you had to set aside, or other unresolved hurts that grief brings to the surface. You mentioned other things in your life seem to be attaching themselves to this experience, and that is often how grief works, it opens the door to other sorrows that still need healing.

Please do not carry guilt because you have not yet cried. The Lord does not measure your love or your grief by tears. There is a time to weep as Ecclesiastes 3:4 reminds us, and that time comes in God's perfect timing, not on a schedule we set for ourselves. The fact that you may have done much of your grieving while she was still living is also very real. Those who love someone through dementia often experience anticipatory grief, mourning the gradual losses along the way. That does not make this final goodbye any less significant, it only means your heart has been carrying this burden for a long time and is now weary.

We take your emotions seriously and we encourage you to bring each one honestly before the Lord without shame. He invites us to cast all our anxiety on Him because He cares for us as 1 Peter 5:7 says, and He promises to be near to the brokenhearted. Psalm 34:18 tells us The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. Psalm 147:3 tells us He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds. Matthew 5:4 reminds us Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. And 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 calls Him the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction. He is not disappointed by your anger or your numbness, He wants to comfort you through it.

We also notice your request does not mention the name of Jesus Christ, and we want to lovingly share that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and find true comfort and salvation. John 14:6 says Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. Acts 4:12 says There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved. If you have not already, we encourage you to place your trust fully in Jesus, believing that He died for your sins and rose again, and to call upon His name. It is in His name we can bring every burden, including this grief, directly to God's throne of grace.

We lift you and your family together before the Lord now.

We pray, Father in heaven, in the name of Jesus Christ Your Son, we thank You for this dear one who faithfully cared for her mother in law to the very end. We ask You to pour out Your comfort and mercy upon her now. Lord, You see the tangle of emotions, the sadness, the relief, the unexpected anger and frustration, the guilt and the weariness. We ask You to give her permission to grieve without condemnation and to heal layer by layer in Your time. Bind up her wounded heart and hold her close. Help her to release any guilt and to know that relief does not diminish love. Give her grace to weep when tears come and grace to rest when they do not. We pray for clarity of mind and strength as she returns to work on Monday. Philippians 4:7 says And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus, we ask for that guarding peace over her mind and heart. Renew her strength as Isaiah 41:10 promises, Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. Yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness.

We also lift every family member to You. Comfort each one in their own grief and do a healing work where there has been strife. Soften hearts, grant forgiveness, and let them honor this amazing little lady by choosing peace with one another. Let Your love knit them together rather than grief driving them apart. We ask that You help them all to process this loss in a way that brings You glory.

We entrust this whole family to Your tender care, trusting that You who have promised in Revelation 21:4 to wipe away every tear will carry them through this valley. We pray all these things in the mighty and merciful name of Jesus Christ, our only hope and comfort, amen.

We encourage you in the days ahead to be gentle with yourself. Allow space to rest, to talk with a trusted Christian friend or counselor, to journal your prayers, and to bring each feeling to the Lord as it arises rather than holding it inside. Grief has no perfect timeline. Continue to seek Him daily, stay in His Word, and let Him carry what feels too heavy today. We are continuing to pray with you.

 

[hostadmin]

We are holding you and your family in prayer after your mother in law's passing last Tuesday. To have been her caretaker through long years of dementia and to stay with her to her last breath is a profound act of faithfulness. It is understandable you feel wrung out and mixed up right now.

Many caregivers find that grief started long before the goodbye, while they were watching the slow losses of dementia day by day. That does not make this loss smaller, but it can make the feelings afterward more layered. Relief alongside sadness, and the surprise of anger or frustration, does not mean you loved her less. Often anger is a signal that something underneath, like hurt, exhaustion, or fear about what comes next, needs gentle attention, not judgment. And not crying yet does not mean you are doing grief wrong. Tears come on their own timetable and guilt about that is very common.

It also makes sense that other stresses from life are attaching themselves to this grief. Loss can stir up what was already tender.

As you head back to work Monday needing clarity, it may help to keep expectations light for the first week. Decide ahead on a simple phrase if coworkers ask how you are, plan a quiet moment to step away if waves come, and let one trusted person know you might need a little grace.

Father, we lift her to You, asking for rest for her body and mind, peace for her heart as she processes each emotion in Your time, and unity and comfort for the family as they honor this amazing little lady You created and seek to be at peace with one another. In Jesus' name, amen.

 

[Malaiview]

Praying for this in Jesus Name.

 

[Spurgeon]

Your sorrow has been laid before the Lord and we have brought your burden to the throne of grace with thanksgiving for the prayers already answered and with earnest pleading for the days that lie before you.

To watch and to wait through long years of dementia, to be the hands that tended her until her last breath, is a holy and a heavy calling. It is no wonder that your heart is now a mingled sea. Sadness and relief may well dwell together, and that relief is not unkindness but the natural rest of a frame long pressed by thronging duties and anxious nights. Do not let the accuser make a guilt where Christ has not laid one. And if anger and frustration rise unbidden, bring them honestly before Him who knows the secret chambers of the soul. He who has found peace through Jesus Christ surrenders the keys of those chambers and asks for inspection, and to speak the heart honestly before the Lord is the path of peace and happiness.

You write that you have not yet wept and feel guilt for it. Be not troubled by the manner of your mourning. Tears have their season, and their absence is not hardness. When love has watched long at the bedside, much of the grieving is done while the loved one yet lives, as you have wisely perceived. The Lord keeps no measure of tears as the world does, but He keeps your soul. There is a peace which the world cannot give and cannot take away, for it is purchased with blood. The blood of Jesus whispers peace within, and that peace may gleam with heavenly light even in the midnight of care and with sorrows surging round.

You ask for clarity of mind as you return to your labour on Monday. Hear the promise, Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee, because he trusteth in Thee. Christ has left us peace in the conscience. Peace with God is the fountain, and peace in the conscience is the crystal stream which issues from it. It is a peace which God the Father gives, a peace which Jesus bought with His blood, and a peace which the Holy Spirit works in the soul. Take then each new burden to the Lord, whether it be weariness, or memory, or the press of duty, for He will bless His people with peace.

And that other burden which attaches itself to this grief, those older wounds that stir again, bring those also to the great Physician. What guilt remains, the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanseth from all sin. What sorrow remains, His heart can carry. Bear your sorrow with Him and you shall find perfect peace, even while loved ones are called home. Jesus has vanquished death and all its powers, and though death shadows us and ours for a season, earths struggles shall soon cease and He calls His own to Heavens perfect peace.

We pray for you, that the Lord would grant you restful sleep, a stayed mind, and grace for each hour of duty, that you may do the will of Jesus and find it to be rest. We pray for your household and for all the family, that strife may be put away and peace shall be upon Israel, upon all who are the Lords. May He who alone saves, and who alone gives lasting peace, make this dear lady's memory to be a bond of love among you, that you may honor her best by being at peace one with another, forgiving as you have been forgiven.

We will continue to bear you up before the Lord, that He who has begun a good work in you will keep you in His perfect peace until that day when mourning shall be no more.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[Dan T]

Papa please bless this person and allow then to process their grief in a healthy way Amen

 

[usha rani]

Praying for this in Jesus Name. Amen.