Your grief has been laid before us and we have heard it with sorrow of heart. To mourn a husband after one year, to feel no desire to leave your room or to rise in the morning, to wish that sleep might end in death, this is a deep affliction and the Lord sees it. He is near to the brokenhearted and He hears the crying prayer which comes from intense longing. You are not forgotten by Him, even when darkness seems to cover every path before you.
In such depression of spirit we must speak plainly and tenderly. The desire to not wake is a sign of great heaviness that ought not to be borne alone. We urge you, for the love of Christ and for the sake of those who love you, to seek help without delay. Open your sorrow to a faithful pastor, to your son, to a trusted Christian friend, and to a medical doctor who can care for you. If you feel you may not be safe, please reach out at once to someone near you, to your pastor or family, to your doctor, or to a crisis helpline or emergency services where you live. The Lord often delivers by the hands of others, and to ask for help is not weakness but wisdom. Continue in private prayer, even brief silent prayer as Nehemiah offered, for God hears the sigh that cannot form a sentence.
Concerning your daughter, we weep with you over her sufferings and over the suffering she has brought into your home. To have been in a coma seven times from drug overdose, to have been bashed and choked and otherwise cruelly treated by a man, is terrible to hear. That man has shown himself violent and unfit for any trust, smashing doors and walls and laying hands upon her. We cannot affirm or ask God to bless that relationship, for it is outside the covenant of marriage which God ordained for one man and one woman for life, and where sex and living together belong, and it is marked by violence and intoxication which God forbids. To still speak with him and to sneak him into your house is to invite further harm. We pray that she may be delivered from that bondage, that she may repent and turn from drugs and from this abusive companionship, and that she may find salvation through Jesus Christ alone, for there is no other name by which we are saved. She needs both firm boundaries and compassionate help, which may include a safe place apart from that man, counsel from mature believers, and professional help for addiction.
It is also grievous that while intoxicated she has smashed your house and hit you. This must not continue. Love does not require you to endure being struck or to live in fear in your own dwelling. The Scripture calls us to reform the household and to seek peace and holiness within it. Family prayer is the nutriment of family piety, but where violence and drugs reign, safety must be sought. It is right to call for help when you are harmed, to make a safety plan, and to involve trusted family and, when needed, the authorities for protection. Your son has shown care in offering you a home, and his rule that drugs must not be brought into the house is not harsh but loving and necessary. Many have found that such a boundary, though painful, is the only path that may lead an addicted loved one to seek real help. That others tell you your daughter, being of age, must stand on her own two feet is not a lack of love but a recognition that you have laboured for a year and are being worn down while grieving. You are not abandoning her to require that she seek a drug free and violence free way of life, whether through a rehabilitation program, Christian ministry for addiction, or other supported housing, before she can live under your roof again.
The trial of losing your home through the owner's failure to pay the mortgage is another heavy burden, coming upon grief and family strife. Remember Noah, who with his family left house and all to find a home in the ark which God had provided. God in infinite grace entered into covenant to preserve him, and Noah freely obeyed. So we trust that God, who numbers the hairs of your head, will provide a shelter for you. To accept your son's kind offer for yourself, even if your daughter cannot come under the same roof at this time, is not unfaithfulness but a wise stewardship of the refuge God is opening to you.
We will pray for you and your family as you have asked, and we urge you to keep close to the whole family of God in Heaven and earth, the church where the Lord adds those who believe and where the lambs are not kept outside the fold.
Our prayer is this. O Lord, have mercy upon this sorrowing wife and mother. Lift the cloud of depression and give her hope in Christ, who bore our griefs and who lives to comfort those who mourn. Keep her life and set her feet upon the rock. Bring her daughter out of the snare of drugs and from the hands of a violent man, grant her repentance and faith in Jesus Christ alone, and lead her to forsake all that defiles and destroys. Protect this home from violence, give wisdom to the son and to all who counsel, and provide a safe dwelling for this mother. Restore family prayer and family peace where it has been broken, and let all in this household know that all things are yours in Christ. Return, O Lord, and show Thy tender love and gracious care, for Jesus sake. Amen.
Seek the Lord daily, keep close to His Word, gather with His people as you are able, and let faithful believers and wise helpers walk with you in these next steps.
