EAndersen
Prayer Warrior
I'm done. I've prayed and prayed and I've endured the hardships for so long, I've only tried to work forward and God knows that I have followed His word and that I've been a soldier my whole life. I am just done. I'm twenty and I've saved lives, I've got a group of guys who say that I'm the reason they're here and they've sent themselves off to Afghanistan to fight for something greater than themselves because of it and I feel responsible for what they've seen and what they face. I'll be the godfather to their children. God's blessed me with so many skills, I can do literally whatever I set my mind to, but my path is completely blocked at the moment. He showed me what I should be, and suddenly I lose everything that I realized I was taking for granted. I lost everything. I only worked to improve myself but I lost my fiance, I lost my grandmother, my childhood dog and cat, three brothers are in Afghanistan, my family literally has about 5 dollars in the bank, my mom may be dying, a friend has cancer, I was dropped from my school and fired from my job in the last two months. Through it all I've remained faithful and strong, I've tried to be a light for other people to follow as always but I am done. I just can't go on any longer... Father please just make this stop. I'll go on I just need a single sign, anything. You won't let me forget about my fiance, I don't want to think about her, I want to move on but you tell me that she's the one still, even though she's rude, and insists that she never even wants to speak to me again. God, if it's meant to be show her what you showed me, just do anything God I'm so tired. I don't want to be unfaithful but I've got no strength left. I need you here with me, I need to see you in my life. I've sacrificed and sacrificed. Why did you bring me back from drowning if not for this? I need to share my love with her God, and with her I'll have the strength to face anything that lies ahead... just give me hope... give me anything... I don't care anymore I just need a break. I'm tired of every blessing turning out to be a curse and every time I step forward, the world around me just collapses and spirals out of control. God help me...