Hello

[Anonymous]

I feel that my marriage is under fire, I lost my mom 1 year ago, my mother in law lives in the house with us. Today my mother in law told my husband that dont contribute or send her money and I have the bank statement and proof that I do. I feel after that conversation my husband told me that after my mother died and my mom side of the family became mean to me I have become an angry person which is a lie, I have been very kind and always helpful and what I received from my mom side of the family was ungreatfulness I even gave some of my aunt and uncle and cousin green card and help them along with my mom and after my mom died all I heard was them talking bad about me and saying unjust things behind my back. Im sitting down and crying because after we had a meeting in which I told her that she lied I feel that everything is against me. I do soo much in this house and I feel very sad that my husband said I have a negative attitude and is not true I feel alone in this because even my dad I used to call him at all time to make sure he copes with my mom loss and all he did was said you call me too much when I was providing support and if I dont call him he does not call me I feel soo sad because I pray and Jesus is the only one that hears me I feel in a lost battle. I feel alone eventhought I bend my back over for ungreatful people and I feel like there is no justice or noone seeing my side.

 

[Articles]

We hear your heart and we weep with you in this painful season, and we stand with you in prayer together in Jesus' name. To lose your mother a year ago and still carry that grief, while also carrying the weight of a household where you feel falsely accused and unseen, is a heavy burden. We want you to know you are not alone and you are not in a lost battle, for the Lord is near and He hears you.

The Word tells us Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit Psalm 34:18. He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds Psalm 147:3. When your heart is overwhelmed, you can cry to Him and He will lead you to the rock that is higher than you Psalm 61:2. We thank God that you have turned to Jesus, for He is the only way to the Father and our only hope. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6, and there is no other name under heaven by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. Your prayers in His name are heard, and He sees what others do not see.

We grieve with you over the false accusation from your mother-in-law. God commands, You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor Exodus 20:16, and we are called to speak truth with our neighbor, for we are members of one another Ephesians 4:25. It is right to speak the truth in love Ephesians 4:15, and you did right to calmly show the truth with your bank statement. At the same time we encourage you not to live to prove yourself to people, but to serve as to the Lord. Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men Colossians 3:23. God sees every act of generosity and service you have shown in that home, even when people do not acknowledge it, for Yahweh's eyes are everywhere, keeping watch on the evil and the good Proverbs 15:3.

We also hear how deeply your husband's words wounded you when he said you have become an angry person. Marriage is a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman, and Jesus taught, What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate Matthew 19:6. A husband is called to love his wife even as Christ also loved the assembly and gave himself up for it Ephesians 5:25 and to live with his wife according to knowledge, giving honor to the woman 1 Peter 3:7, while a wife is called to respect her husband Ephesians 5:33. When a mother-in-law lives in the home, it can bring blessing but also strain, and Scripture still calls a man to leave his father and his mother, and cleave to his wife Genesis 2:24. That does not mean dishonoring parents, for we are to honor our father and mother Exodus 20:12, but the marriage union must be protected and nurtured above all other earthly ties. Grief can change us in ways we do not see, and it is possible to carry sorrow that looks like anger to others. Scripture says, Be angry, and don't sin. Don't let the sun go down on your wrath, and don't give place to the devil Ephesians 4:26-27. We encourage you both to examine your hearts before the Lord together, to confess any hurtful words, and to seek reconciliation quickly with gentleness and humility.

We understand your pain toward your mother's side of the family. You gave generously, even helping with green cards and practical support alongside your mother, and now you hear unjust things spoken behind your back. That ingratitude stings. Do not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we don't give up Galatians 6:9. We are called to forgive as the Lord forgave us Colossians 3:13, not because the hurt was small, but because we have been forgiven much. Vengeance belongs to God, for it is written, Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay, says the Lord Romans 12:19. He is a God of faithfulness and without iniquity, just and right is He Deuteronomy 32:4, and He will bring justice in His time. Releasing bitterness to Him frees your heart to heal.

We also hear your sorrow regarding your father. You reached out in love to support him and felt rejected when he said you call too much, and then he does not call you. Honor for a father remains, yet we understand the loneliness that rejection brings. Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you 1 Peter 5:7, and be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus Philippians 4:6-7. God Himself has said, I will in no way leave you, neither will I in any way forsake you Hebrews 13:5.

We pray together for you now.

Father, in the name of Jesus Christ we lift up our sister to Your throne of grace. You see her tears, You know the loss of her mother, the sting of false accusation, the pain of her husband's words, the rejection from her family and her father, and the exhaustion of serving faithfully in her home while feeling unseen. Lord, comfort her as only You can, heal her broken heart and bind up her wounds. Let her feel Your nearness and Your justice. Help her husband to see her with eyes of love and understanding, to speak with gentleness and to lead his home in a way that protects their marriage covenant. Give them both soft hearts to hear one another, to speak truth in love, and to forgive quickly. Give wisdom regarding her mother-in-law, that honor and truth and healthy boundaries may dwell in that home. Help her to release bitterness toward extended family into Your hands and to find rest in knowing You see all she has done. Draw her father closer and heal that relationship where possible. Guard her from the lie that she is alone, and fill her with Your peace that passes understanding. Restore joy and unity in this marriage for Your glory. We ask all this in the mighty and merciful name of Jesus, our only Savior and intercessor, amen.

We encourage you to continue pouring your heart out to Jesus daily, to stay in the Word, and to seek a trusted pastor or godly counselor together with your husband so you can talk through the grief and the household tensions in a safe place. Keep doing good, but also give yourself grace to grieve your mother. Grief takes time and it is not a sign of failure. Set loving boundaries with extended family where needed, and keep seeking unity with your husband first. You are seen, you are loved, and your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

 

[hostadmin]

We read your note carefully and hear how heavy this season has been. To lose your mom a year ago and still be carrying that grief, while also feeling falsely accused at home, criticized by your husband, and spoken about unjustly by relatives you helped so generously, would leave anyone feeling unseen and alone. It makes sense you are sitting and crying and wondering where justice is.

What strikes us is how many losses are layered together right now. The anniversary of your mom's death, the distance you feel from your dad even as you try to support him, the hurt from extended family, and now tension inside your own home with your husband and mother in law. When grief is still so tender, unkind words can sting even more, and it can feel like everything is against you even while you are bending over backward to be helpful and kind.

You cannot control what others choose to believe or say about you, but you can keep hold of what is yours to carry, your integrity, your grief, your kindness, and let others own their words. In a crowded house that can mean giving yourself permission to step away briefly when a conversation turns accusatory, so you can guard your heart, and it can help to have one steady, wise person outside the house who can listen and see your side clearly, perhaps a pastor or counselor you trust, not to fix everything at once but so you are not carrying this alone.

Father, we lift our sister to You. You see her tears, her generosity, and the truth she is holding when she feels unheard. Comfort her in the grief for her mom, ease the loneliness she feels at home, and give her and her husband gentleness and wisdom toward each other. Remind her that You hear her prayers and are near to her. In Jesus' name, amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

Your sorrow has been poured out before the Lord, and He has heard it, for Jesus is indeed the One who hears when none else will listen. There is a loneliness in your grief which many cannot understand, and it is right to bring it to Him who knows what it is to be left alone.

Remember that our blessed Savior Himself knew this loneliness just when most, as Man, He needed human sympathy. False witnesses were found to bear lying testimony against Him, but no man stood forward to attest the honesty, quietness and goodness of His life. His brave spirit stood at bay alone while all the dogs of Hell raged around Him. Can you, for a moment, enter into the sorrow of that loneliness? He knows what it is to have unjust things spoken behind His back, to be misjudged by those nearest to Him, and to be friendless in the hour of deepest grief. You are not alone in feeling alone, for He has walked that path before you and He now watches over you with tender compassion.

You mourn your mother, and that wound is still fresh after a year. To lose a mother is to lose a great comfort, and to find that others speak unjustly after such a loss adds a double grief. You have labored to do good in your house, to provide and to help, even to the giving of great help to your own family, and to receive unthankfulness in return is bitter. When your mother in law speaks what is not true, and when your husband says you have become angry and negative, and when your father draws back from your calls, the heart cries out, Where is justice, and who sees my side? Hear this truth, conscience and the Word both say that God is no false witness. He is a sure observer. He sees the bank statement and the hidden kindness, He hears the meeting and the tears you shed in secret. Men may misjudge, but His justice is unimpeachable.

Yet let me speak to you faithfully about the heart. There is a way of self justification which is self condemning instead of self justifying. When we say, I have been very kind, I have always been helpful, I pay what is due, we are tempted to fling down the gauntlet and charge God with injustice when He allows us to be misunderstood. Take care not to rest your peace upon proving yourself right before men. Have we always spoken the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, with heart and tongue agreeing? No, we all need a better righteousness than our own. That righteousness is found only in Christ, who suffered as a substitute, the just for the unjust, that He might bring us to God. It pleased the Lord to bruise Him, that justice might be satisfied, and when justice is satisfied in Him, it will not ask for more from you. Go with your accusations and your wounds to Gethsemane and see Him there, His head and garments marked with bloody grief for you, and hear the Father say that He will not condemn you for that debt of sin which was charged on Christ. Your vindication before God does not come from your bank statements but from His blood.

This inward conflict you feel, this war within between the desire to do right and the pain of being wronged, is known to the children of God. Since the Spirit of God and the spirit of evil must fight, so the two principles within must continue in conflict till our dying day. Some of this tearing you feel is the enemy of souls seeking to throw you down even as you are coming to Christ. But it is written, He is able to save to the uttermost all who come unto God by Him, and whosoever cometh He will in no wise cast out. Tell Satan this when he accuses you.

For your marriage, hold fast to what God has joined. Marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and when it is under fire, the Lord would have you seek peace, not division. Do not answer a false word with a bitter word. Speak the truth in love, once, quietly, and then commit your cause to Him who judges righteously. Continue to do good in your house as unto the Lord and not unto men, for though the ungrateful may not thank you, your Father in heaven sees in secret.

Learn the mercy of brief, silent prayer. As Nehemiah prayed in a moment before he answered the king, so you may lift your heart in the kitchen, in the meeting, in the night when tears come, Lord, help me, Lord, remember me, Lord, give me a soft answer. God hears such prayers though they have no eloquence.

I will pray for you, that the Lord will comfort you in your mourning for your mother, that He will give you grace to bear false accusation as Christ did, that He will soften hearts in your home and give your husband eyes to see your labor of love, that He will guard your tongue and your temper and make you gentle under provocation, and that He will let you know that though others may leave you alone, you are never alone, for your Redeemer lives and stands with you. Cast your burden upon Him, continue in prayer and in well doing, forgive as you have been forgiven, and trust His unimpeachable justice to make all things right in His time.

 

[usha rani]

Praying for this in Jesus Name.