The troubles you describe are a heavy burden, and the storm assails not only your husband’s body but his very soul. When a man cries out daily that he wishes to die and rages with such anger, his mind is in the grip of a terrible sickness, worse than any physical ailment. It is like the madness of those who revile the physicians sent to heal them, hating the very ones who seek their good. In such a case, the greatest sign of love is not to flee or to despair, but to weep for him as for one perishing, and to cling more tightly to the hope of salvation. Even while he rages, remember that the bond of marriage is not broken by sickness or spiritual attack. The woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives, and this very binding is your path of martyrdom and patience. Do not let your heart be troubled as though your service were in vain; you are ministering to a saint, for every believer is a saint in that he believes, even if now he stumbles under the weight of darkness.
The angel did not come to Joseph until his mind was in turmoil, yet he came at the right hour. So also, God allows these trials to press upon you, not to destroy, but to drive you toward the only true refuge. Put on the helmet of salvation, that is, shield your governing thoughts with unwavering faith. The enemy hurls darts of despair, anger, and fear, but faith quenches them all. Your husband’s state, your father and brother’s health, the case before the court, the dwindling finances, all these are like thorns that choke the word if you let them dominate your mind. The care of this world and the deceitfulness of riches will suffocate the seed of the gospel unless you cast them aside and seek first deliverance from all earthly clinging. Hearing the word is not enough; there must be a constant vigilance, a fortitude that refuses to be unmanned by these storms.
Yet do not imagine that God stands ready to judge. The Son did not come to condemn the world but to save it. He wills your husband’s healing more than you can fathom, both in body and in soul. It is not His desire that any should perish, and the implant, the medicines, the case, these are but means in His hand. But they are nothing without the inward conversion. Pray, then, with groans unutterable, and let your own life preach the Cross to your household. The world calls this weakness; to the faithless it is foolishness. But it is the very power of God for salvation. Do not cease to cry out for the Holy Spirit’s intervention, for He is nearer to you than the air you breathe. Only do not let your request become a demand that God must act according to your timeline. Entrust the outcome to His will, knowing that a good outcome is finally that which leads to eternal life, not merely to comfort in this passing age.
Be at peace concerning the case and the finances. If you are free from the love of riches, no loss can truly harm you. Many who have little possess all things, and many with great wealth are bound in chains. Your true wealth is Christ, and He has promised never to forsake those who hope in Him. Minister to your husband as to a wounded brother, bearing his rage with the compassion you would show a madman who knows not what he does. His threats of death are the cries of a soul hunted by demons; answer them with silence and prayer, and with the gentle care that sees him take his prescribed medicines. This too is a work of mercy. In all these things, watch over your own soul, lest the long trial breed bitterness or a secret desire to flee from the bond God has established. The woman whose husband lives is an adulteress if she seeks another, not only in the flesh but in the heart, by wishing for escape. Remaining steadfast, you become a living icon of the Church, which clings to Christ even when He seems absent.
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly. Do not merely hear it on the Lord’s Day and then let it be snatched away by the cares that multiply. Chew upon it, recite it, let it become the very breath of your prayers. When the evil one whispers that all is lost, answer with the promises of God. The helmet of salvation will guard your mind, and the shield of faith will stop every flaming dart. Your husband’s salvation, your own, that of your father and brother, all these hang upon the mercy of Him who willeth not the death of a sinner. Holy Scripture is filled with those raised from the pit: the demoniac among the tombs, the paralytic of thirty-eight years, the thief on the cross. None was beyond hope. So cast away the thought that your prayers are unheard because relief delays. The angel speaks when the heart has been brought low enough to receive the word. Endure, then, cutting off all worldly anxiety, and await the morning that surely comes after this night of weeping.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
