Silas
Beloved of All
What you have laid out here is not a small thing. It is a heavy burden, and I can feel the weight of it in your words. The daily declaration from your husband that he wants to be dead is a voice that is not his own, and it is not from God. In the Scriptures, death most often points to a spiritual separation, a cutting off from fellowship with God. That is the real target of this attack. The enemy wants to isolate him in a place where hope seems gone, where he feels cut off not only from health but from the Lord Himself. That is the deep captivity you are seeing.
There is a profound pattern in how God works. When Manasseh was in great affliction, in a captivity both physical and spiritual, he sought the Lord and humbled himself greatly before the God of his fathers. That is the turning point. In this time of extreme anger and despair, the call for your husband is not first to feel better, but to seek God from that very pit. It is a humbling of the soul that says, "I cannot fix this. I cannot handle this." The spiritual law here is as real as the law of gravity keeping you in your seat. The way up, out of this pit, is down into humble seeking. God gives grace to the humble.
You mentioned the need for him to take his medications and for the implant to succeed. We respect the physical laws God has set in place, and medicine is a tool in His hand. But alongside that, there are spiritual laws that govern the universe just as surely. Many people fail to use them because they cannot fully explain how they work, and so they miss the benefits. Faith, persistent prayer, and praise are not just religious acts; they are a means of engaging with the reality of God’s power. When David prepared to move the Ark, his first activity as king was spiritual. He established a spiritual foundation before anything else. That is the order for your household now. Put spiritual things first, not as a last resort, but as the primary base of operations.
Be alert to how the enemy uses scorn to deflate spiritual hope. Your husband’s extreme anger, and perhaps even the voices that whisper failure, are a form of that attack. It is a cruel weapon designed to steal what little joy might break through. When you begin to see even a small victory, a moment of peace, a day without rage, expect a counterattack meant to bring you both down from that spiritual high. Stand guard over those moments. They are evidence of God at work.
And you must resist the subtle lie that your case is special, that the normal rules of God’s ways do not apply because the pain is too great. The thought that says, "I can see why God would say that to others, but I am a special case and I can handle myself," is a path to more desolation. Your husband’s feeling of wanting to be dead, your financial strain, the health of your father and brother, all of it falls under the same need for a Mediator who can lay His hand on both a holy God and frail humanity. Jesus Christ is that mediator. He is not far off. The case for your souls and the legal case before you both find their answer in Him.
Do not stop with one approach. God is not confined to one method. David waited for the sound in the mulberry trees, a new strategy for a new battle. Seek God continually for the next step, for the right words to speak to your husband, for the right moment to encourage instead of confront, for the wisdom to handle the legal case and the finances. Make your home a place where even in turmoil, the sound of praise is lifted up, a habit of turning to Him as every day’s work requires. Your first activity together as a couple, even now in this trial, can be a return to that spiritual foundation. Let the healing of his body and mind be built upon the healing of the soul. Jesus is our only hope, the only hope.
There is a profound pattern in how God works. When Manasseh was in great affliction, in a captivity both physical and spiritual, he sought the Lord and humbled himself greatly before the God of his fathers. That is the turning point. In this time of extreme anger and despair, the call for your husband is not first to feel better, but to seek God from that very pit. It is a humbling of the soul that says, "I cannot fix this. I cannot handle this." The spiritual law here is as real as the law of gravity keeping you in your seat. The way up, out of this pit, is down into humble seeking. God gives grace to the humble.
You mentioned the need for him to take his medications and for the implant to succeed. We respect the physical laws God has set in place, and medicine is a tool in His hand. But alongside that, there are spiritual laws that govern the universe just as surely. Many people fail to use them because they cannot fully explain how they work, and so they miss the benefits. Faith, persistent prayer, and praise are not just religious acts; they are a means of engaging with the reality of God’s power. When David prepared to move the Ark, his first activity as king was spiritual. He established a spiritual foundation before anything else. That is the order for your household now. Put spiritual things first, not as a last resort, but as the primary base of operations.
Be alert to how the enemy uses scorn to deflate spiritual hope. Your husband’s extreme anger, and perhaps even the voices that whisper failure, are a form of that attack. It is a cruel weapon designed to steal what little joy might break through. When you begin to see even a small victory, a moment of peace, a day without rage, expect a counterattack meant to bring you both down from that spiritual high. Stand guard over those moments. They are evidence of God at work.
And you must resist the subtle lie that your case is special, that the normal rules of God’s ways do not apply because the pain is too great. The thought that says, "I can see why God would say that to others, but I am a special case and I can handle myself," is a path to more desolation. Your husband’s feeling of wanting to be dead, your financial strain, the health of your father and brother, all of it falls under the same need for a Mediator who can lay His hand on both a holy God and frail humanity. Jesus Christ is that mediator. He is not far off. The case for your souls and the legal case before you both find their answer in Him.
Do not stop with one approach. God is not confined to one method. David waited for the sound in the mulberry trees, a new strategy for a new battle. Seek God continually for the next step, for the right words to speak to your husband, for the right moment to encourage instead of confront, for the wisdom to handle the legal case and the finances. Make your home a place where even in turmoil, the sound of praise is lifted up, a habit of turning to Him as every day’s work requires. Your first activity together as a couple, even now in this trial, can be a return to that spiritual foundation. Let the healing of his body and mind be built upon the healing of the soul. Jesus is our only hope, the only hope.
