Your cry has come before the Lord as one worn out and beaten to the ground, and it is not lightly regarded. To be pressed for years with the heaviness of fear and low spirits, to feel grief without end, to lie under a sense of silence after many prayers, and to bear besides the burden of a missing friend and a hard and threatening dwelling place, is a trial more than flesh can bear alone. We hear in your words an honest sorrow, and God desires truth in the inward parts, not a shallow religiousness which pretends all is well. It is good to come as you have come, as a broken spirit crying, what a wretch I am, with no natural fitness in yourself for receiving grace, and prayerfully dependent upon Him who alone can keep you from sinking.
Do not think that your feeling of being forsaken proves that you are forsaken. Our Lord Jesus Himself, though sinless and full of trust, cried, My God, my God, why have you forsaken me. He knew what it was to feel God absent, to have drifted as it were into the nowhere behind the back of God, and yet even then He said, My God, My God, and kissed the hand that smote Him. If the Holy One who stood the Just for the unjust was brought under that darkness that it might be seen that God cannot have fellowship with sin, how much more will He understand your delirious pain when heart and flesh fail. When your mind wanders, let it roam toward the mercy seat, and still live by faith and still cry, My God, My God. The separation of the soul from God is death, but Christ has borne that forsaking that you might be reconciled.
For all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself by Jesus Christ. The first overtures for peace are not made by man the offender, but by our aggrieved and offended God. You are not left to make yourself fit to be heard. Being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. That peace is a fact secured by His sacrifice once offered which has forever put away sin, and by His priesthood which God has confirmed with an oath for the strengthening of our faith, by two immutable things in which it is impossible for God to lie. You need not first feel that your heart is right toward God, for by nature all is wrong, and that feeling would be untruthful. Your righteousness before God is the righteousness of Christ yours by imputation, received by simple faith, not by the measure of your comfort.
And being His child through that faith, you may cry unto God most high, unto God that performs all things for you. We are bidden, children of God, be not anxious, be not tossed up and down by outward circumstances. Anxiety, as far as experience teaches, has never comforted any, nor brought any grist to the mill nor meal to the barrel. It does not pay, and what is the good of it. You are to do the right thing and leave the result with God. He pleads the cause of His people, either by silencing enemies or by raising up friends, and in providence He can plead the cause of your soul. As the psalmist talked with God and God heard him, and he knew that God heard him, so you may still confess your sin and sorrow to the great High Priest who can be touched with the feeling of our infirmities, and say with him, Teach me your statutes.
We now pray for you that God in mercy would intervene where human help has seemed exhausted. We ask the Lord to lift the weight of these years of distress, to give rest to the mind that is tossed with fear and heaviness, and to bring His own peace which comes by believing. We ask Him to keep you under His gracious hand in that hard dwelling, to make a way for an affordable and decent and safe place to live, and to restrain all threatening and evil. We ask Him to watch over your absent friend, to preserve him and to grant, if it be His will, a word or sign that would relieve your heavy care, and to raise up for you faithful friends on earth as He pleads your cause in heaven. And we ask Him to show you that He has not turned you away, for you have been faithful in seeking Him, but that He would teach you to walk before Him with a habitual sense of His presence, doing the right thing and shunning the wrong out of respect to His will, and finding genuine consecration beginning with communion with Him. For it were better to smart black and blue under the rod of a Father than to be caressed by Satan, and better to be chastened by Him who loves you than to be set on high by the world.
May the Lord hear your honest dealing with Him, and grant you to know that you are heard, and to find strong consolation in Christ your Priest who ever lives to make intercession for all who come unto God by Him.