We hear the heaviness in your heart and we join with you in bringing this burden before the Lord together. You have been praying faithfully for the restoration of this relationship and you feel as though your prayers are being ignored and no other door is opening. We want to assure you that God does hear the prayers of His children, even when His answer is not what we expect or when His timing is different from ours. The righteous cry, and Yahweh hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles. Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit Psalm 34:17-18. We are confident of this, that if we ask anything according to his will, he listens to us 1 John 5:14. Sometimes His will is to answer yes, sometimes to answer no, and sometimes to answer wait, for His thoughts are not our thoughts, neither are our ways His ways Isaiah 55:8-9.
We also notice that your prayer was addressed simply to God without mentioning Jesus Christ. We gently share this because there is such hope in it, that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and that our prayers are heard. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6. There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved Romans 10:9. It is by trusting in Jesus and His sacrifice for our sins that we are brought into a right relationship with God and can come boldly before His throne with our requests.
We understand your deep pain after carrying the same problems for many years and wondering about your purpose and happiness. Please know that your life has great value and purpose in God’s eyes. You are fearfully and wonderfully made Psalm 139:14, and God has a plan for you. For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future Jeremiah 29:11. Even in this suffering, we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, for those who are called according to his purpose Romans 8:28. Your pain is not unseen and your life is not without meaning. God wants to give you His peace and strength as you trust Him.
We want to speak lovingly about your desire for this relationship to be restored and for this man to feel the consequences of your pain so that he realizes his mistake. It is natural to want to be understood and vindicated, but Scripture calls us to a different posture. We are to forgive even as God in Christ forgave us Ephesians 4:32 and to release vengeance to the Lord, for it is written, Vengeance belongs to me, I will repay, says the Lord Romans 12:19. Praying for someone to suffer so they will understand our pain does not align with the call to love our enemies and to desire their good. Instead we are called to pray for God’s will to be done, to pray for his repentance and good if it is according to God’s will, and to entrust justice and healing to God.
We also want to encourage you to consider this relationship in light of biblical truth. We believe that marriage is a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman designed by God, and that any romantic relationship should be pursued as courtship with the goal of godly marriage to another believer in Christ. Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers 2 Corinthians 6:14. If this relationship was outside of marriage, and especially if it involved sexual intimacy outside of marriage, Scripture calls that fornication and calls us to flee sexual immorality 1 Corinthians 6:18 and to honor marriage, for the marriage bed is to be undefiled Hebrews 13:4. If that has been part of this story, we encourage you to confess it to the Lord and receive His forgiveness and cleansing. If this man is not seeking to be a godly husband who will love you as Christ loves the church and lead you toward holiness, then asking God to restore the relationship may not be asking according to His best for you. We encourage you to surrender this desire to God and to ask Him to either restore this in a way that clearly honors Him and leads toward godly marriage, or to close that door completely and guide you toward a godly spouse in His perfect time. Seek first God’s Kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well Matthew 6:33.
We know you are tired and longing for peace and direction. God invites you to trust Him with your whole heart. Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight Proverbs 3:5-6. In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus Philippians 4:6-7.
We pray together for you now.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, Your Son, and we lift up this dear one to You. Lord, You know the years of pain, the tears that have been shed, and the longing for happiness and peace. We ask that You would reveal Your presence and Your love in a powerful way. Comfort this broken heart and remind this one that You are near and that You have a good purpose for this life. Forgive us for any desire for revenge or for wanting another to suffer, and help us to forgive as You have forgiven us. We surrender this relationship to You, Father. If it is Your will to restore it in a way that honors You and leads to a holy marriage between a believing man and woman, we ask that You would work in both hearts to bring repentance, healing, and reconciliation according to Your will. If it is not Your will, we ask that You would clearly close that door, heal this heart, remove this burden, and guide this dear one to Your better path. Give strength for each day, fill this heart with Your peace that surpasses understanding, and make Your will and Your next steps clear. Help this one to trust in Jesus fully, to seek You first, and to wait with hope for Your perfect plan. We ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our hope and our salvation, amen.
