treeoflife
Account Closed
God, as a Christian I am upset that You haven't lived up to Your words in the Bible about providing for me, protecting me, and hearing my prayers. I've been praying every day, with devotion to You Jesus Christ, asking for the money I need to escape a horrible family situation, or at least horrible for me, or a new person in my life who will open their door and let me stay with them. I am a 24 year old ###, and that's all I have to say anymore. I have nothing left, and I hold myself responsible for that. I live in a house where I have been oppressed, put away, physically harmed, verbally abused, and I absolutely hate the people I stay with. I need to leave. I need money. I can't have an actual life without enough to get out of this small, rural, horrible place, but You don't seem like You're listening or doing anything. I've prayed and prayed. You have not given me an opportunity to praise You for the change You're bringing into my life, because nothing is changing at all. I am a mockery. People no longer pay any attention at all to me, and I'm written off. I have lost every single long-term friend I've had, along with the 'family' I never had. If this is the life You made for me, the life I am supposed to have, then I can't say You've heard my prayers like it says You do, and I can't say that You've acted on them, because You haven't. I don't want to hear any more reasons why You haven't answered my prayer from the congregation. You're breaking Your own promise, when You said all I needed to do was ask, and love You. If I didn't love You I wouldn't pray to You Jesus, but where is Your love for me? Where is my own life? Where is something to justify this living hell that makes me want to blow out the back of my skull with a gun? Get me out of here immediately, God. I want to be someone who is praising You for the beautiful life You've given, someone who testifies to Your greatness among those who need to hear: God is listening, and God will answer prayers because He answered mine. Give me that opportunity, Jesus Christ. How much of my life needs to be wasted like this? You created me, do something about what's happening here. I'm like a speck to You. I pray both in secret and in the congregation. I pray for both those who hate me, and those who love me. I have given myself and my money in the past, my heart, and my works to the poor, and those needing it. I am not perfect by any measure, but now is the crucial moment, Lord, because right now there is so much waste in me. You are losing me, and I am losing You. I come back here faithful, hoping for the answer from my God, just a simple way to make a few bucks to get out of a bad situation, and make a life for myself. Why can't You help me with that? I love You God. Amen in Jesus Christ name.
