We hear the deep pain and confusion in your heart, and we come before the throne of grace together, lifting this situation to the Lord with fervent prayer. First and foremost, we must address the foundational truth that salvation and healing come only through the name of Jesus Christ. There is no other name under heaven by which we can be saved (Acts 4:12). If you or this man have not surrendered your lives fully to Jesus, confessing Him as Lord and believing in His resurrection, we urge you to do so without delay. "For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life" (John 3:16).
The situation you describe is heartbreaking and reveals patterns that are not aligned with God’s design for relationships. The Bible is clear that marriage is a sacred covenant between one man and one woman, a lifelong commitment established by God (Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:4-6). The behavior you’ve described—late-night interactions with another woman, sexual immorality (including pornography and self-gratification), and emotional infidelity—is grievous to the Lord. "Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled; but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers" (Hebrews 13:4). The fact that he is engaging in these activities while professing love and even marriage to you is a violation of the trust and purity that should characterize a godly relationship.
We must rebuke the deception of the enemy in this situation. The mention of "auras" and other New Age or occult influences is not of God. Scripture warns us, "Beloved, don’t believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world" (1 John 4:1). The enemy seeks to distort truth and lead people away from the light of Christ. We command every false spirit, every principality, and every power that is not of God to be bound and cast out in the mighty name of Jesus. "For though we walk in the flesh, we don’t wage war according to the flesh; for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but mighty before God to the throwing down of strongholds" (2 Corinthians 10:3-4).
The pain you feel is valid, and we grieve with you. The fact that he is not responding to your texts while engaging deeply with another woman is a form of emotional abandonment. This is not how a man who is pursuing marriage should treat his future wife. "Love is patient and is kind; love doesn’t envy. Love doesn’t brag, is not proud, doesn’t behave itself inappropriately, doesn’t seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil; doesn’t rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things" (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). His actions do not reflect the love of Christ, and we must call this what it is: sin.
We also must address the generational wounds you both carry regarding sexual brokenness. Exposure to sexual sin at a young age is a tactic of the enemy to distort God’s beautiful design for intimacy. However, Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted and set the captives free (Luke 4:18). We pray for deep healing over both of your minds and spirits, that the lies you’ve believed about sex and relationships would be replaced with God’s truth. "If therefore the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed" (John 8:36). But this freedom requires repentance—turning away from sin and turning toward God.
The proposal you mentioned is concerning, especially if his actions do not align with his words. A godly man who is ready for marriage will honor you, pursue you with purity, and demonstrate his commitment through his actions, not just his words. "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, Yahweh, my rock, and my redeemer" (Psalm 19:14). His words must be backed by godly behavior.
Let us pray together:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this situation to You. Lord, we first ask for Your forgiveness for any sin in this relationship—sexual immorality, emotional infidelity, and the deception of the enemy that has crept in. We repent on behalf of this man and this woman, asking that You would break every chain of generational sin and brokenness. Father, we declare that Jesus’ blood covers all sin, and we ask for Your mercy and grace to flood this situation.
Lord, we rebuke every spirit of lust, deception, and falsehood that has taken hold in this man’s life. We command it to leave in the name of Jesus. We break every ungodly soul tie that has been formed through sin, and we declare that he is set free by the power of Your Holy Spirit. Father, heal his mind and spirit from the wounds of his past. Replace the lies he has believed about sex and relationships with Your truth. Let him see the beauty of Your design for intimacy within the bounds of marriage.
We also pray for this woman, Lord. Heal her heart from the pain of betrayal and rejection. Give her the strength to walk away from this relationship if it is not honoring to You. Father, reveal to her the truth about this man’s intentions. If he is not truly committed to a godly marriage, expose his heart and give her the wisdom to discern Your will. Protect her from further emotional harm, and surround her with godly counsel and support.
Lord, if this man is to be her husband, we pray that You would transform his heart completely. Let him become a man after Your own heart, one who loves You above all else and seeks to honor You in his relationship. Let him pursue her with purity, integrity, and selflessness. Father, if this is not Your will, we ask that You would close this door and lead them both to the paths You have prepared for them.
We also rebuke the influence of the woman he is engaging with. Lord, we ask that You would disrupt this ungodly connection. Let Your conviction fall upon both of them, and let them turn away from this sin. Block every attempt of the enemy to deceive or distract them, and let Your light shine brightly in their lives.
Father, we declare that no weapon formed against this relationship—or against either of them—will prosper. We speak Your protection over them, and we ask that You would surround them with Your angels. Let Your favor rest upon them, and let Your will be done in their lives.
We pray all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, the name that is above every name, the name by which we are saved and set free. Amen.
Sister, we urge you to seek godly counsel from a pastor or mature Christian mentor who can walk with you through this. The pain you’re experiencing is real, but you do not have to walk through it alone. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18), and He sees every tear you’ve shed. We encourage you to spend time in God’s Word, allowing His truth to renew your mind and strengthen your spirit. If this man is not willing to repent and change, you must be prepared to walk away, trusting that God has a better plan for you. "Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths" (Proverbs 3:5-6).
You are deeply loved by the Father, and He has a future for you that is filled with hope (Jeremiah 29:11). Do not settle for less than His best. Stand firm in your faith, and trust that He will guide you every step of the way.
