Oh, beloved one, our hearts ache deeply as we read your cry of despair, and we are compelled to speak life, truth, and hope into this darkness that has overwhelmed you. First, we must address something critical: though you ended with "in Jesus’ name," the words you spoke before that are not aligned with the heart of God or the authority we have in Christ. The enemy has filled your mind with lies—lies that say you are worthless, that God is against you, that your pain is endless, and that death is the only escape. But we declare to you now: *these are not the words of your Heavenly Father.* The God who formed you in your mother’s womb, who numbers every hair on your head, and who sent His Son to die for you does not delight in your suffering. He is not the author of your pain, nor does He wish to "delete" or "erase" you. These thoughts do not come from Him, but from the father of lies, who seeks to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10).
You said you’ve been on your "best attitude" for weeks, as if your worth depends on your performance. But listen closely: *you are not saved or loved by God because of your goodness.* Ephesians 2:8-9 tells us, *"For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, that no one would boast."* Your value is not tied to how "good" you are or how much you suffer. Jesus already bore your suffering on the cross—every nightmare, every betrayal, every heartbreak—so that you would not have to carry it alone. He invites you to cast *all* your cares on Him, because He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7). You do not have to earn His love or prove yourself worthy. You are already loved beyond measure.
You mentioned feeling like you "can’t be happy or succeed," that you "can’t be or feel loved." These are the whispers of the enemy, but God’s Word says otherwise. Jeremiah 29:11 declares, *"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you hope and a future."* You have a future, beloved, even if you cannot see it right now. The pain you feel is real, and we do not minimize it, but we *reject* the lie that it will last forever. Psalm 30:5 promises, *"Weeping may stay for the night, but joy comes in the morning."* Your morning *will* come.
You also spoke of those who have wronged you over the past 12 years, and the bitterness in your heart is understandable. But holding onto that pain is like drinking poison and expecting *them* to suffer. Romans 12:19 says, *"Don’t seek revenge yourselves, beloved, but give place to God’s wrath. For it is written, ‘Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay, says the Lord.’"* Let go of the weight of vengeance. Forgiveness is not excusing what they did; it is freeing *yourself* from the chains of anger and resentment. Jesus forgave those who crucified Him—*while they were still nailing Him to the cross* (Luke 23:34). He can give you the strength to forgive too.
As for your fear of losing family and friends, we pray God restores and heals those relationships. But even if earthly bonds fail, you are *never* alone. Jesus promised, *"I will never leave you or forsake you"* (Hebrews 13:5). He is closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24), and He longs to be your comfort.
Now, we must address something with urgency: your words about wanting God to "end" you or "get rid" of you. These thoughts are dangerous, and we *rebuked* them in the name of Jesus. Suicide is not the answer—it is a permanent solution to a temporary pain, and it breaks the heart of God. You were created for a purpose (Ephesians 2:10), and the enemy wants to cut your story short before you fulfill it. But God is not done writing your testimony! Job, in his deepest despair, cried out, *"Why didn’t I die at birth?"* (Job 3:11), yet God restored him *double* for his trouble (Job 42:10). Your pain will not be wasted.
We also notice you did not mention the name of Jesus in your prayer until the very end, almost as an afterthought. But listen: *there is no other name under heaven by which we are saved* (Acts 4:12). Jesus is not a magical tagline to add to prayers—He is the *only* way to the Father (John 14:6). If you have not surrendered your life to Him, if you have not confessed Him as Lord and believed in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, then you do not yet have the hope that anchors the soul. Romans 10:9 says, *"That if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved."* Without Jesus, there is no true peace, no eternal hope. If you have not done this, we urge you: *turn to Him now.* He is waiting with open arms.
Beloved, we are praying for you *right now* with tears in our eyes. We plead the blood of Jesus over your mind, your heart, and your spirit. We break every lie of the enemy that says you are worthless, that God is against you, that your life has no purpose. We declare that *God is for you* (Romans 8:31), that He has plans to prosper you and not to harm you (Jeremiah 29:11), and that He will turn your mourning into dancing (Psalm 30:11).
Here is our prayer for you:
*"Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus, lifting up this precious soul who is drowning in despair. Lord, we ask that You would *flood* their heart with Your light right now. Break every chain of depression, every spirit of suicide, every lie that says they are not loved or that their life has no purpose. Father, we rebuke the enemy who has whispered these poisonous thoughts into their mind. We command him to flee in Jesus’ name!
Lord, remind them that they are *fearfully and wonderfully made* (Psalm 139:14), that You knew them before they were formed in the womb (Jeremiah 1:5), and that You have *good* plans for them. Heal their broken heart, O God, and bind up their wounds (Psalm 147:3). Replace their nightmares with Your peace that surpasses understanding (Philippians 4:7). Father, if they have not surrendered their life to Jesus, we pray You would draw them to Yourself *right now*. Let them feel Your presence, Your love, Your hope.
We ask for divine restoration—restore their joy, their strength, their faith. Surround them with godly community who will speak life into them. If they are isolated, Lord, bring people into their life who will reflect Your love. Give them the courage to seek help, whether through counselors, pastors, or trusted believers. Father, we ask for supernatural intervention in their circumstances. Turn what the enemy meant for evil into something beautiful for Your glory.
And Lord, if they are struggling with unforgiveness, we ask You to soften their heart. Help them release the pain of the past into Your hands. Let them experience the freedom that comes from forgiveness.
Holy Spirit, fill them afresh right now. Let them feel Your comfort, Your presence, Your love. Remind them that *nothing* can separate them from Your love—not pain, not betrayal, not even death itself (Romans 8:38-39). In the name of Jesus, we declare that they will *live and not die* to declare the works of the Lord (Psalm 118:17). We speak life, hope, and a future over them.
Father, we thank You that You are close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18) and that You hear their cries. We trust You to carry them through this storm. In Jesus’ mighty name, Amen."*
Beloved, we implore you: *do not give up.* Your story is not over. The God who parted the Red Sea, who raised Lazarus from the dead, who conquered the grave—*He is your God too.* Cling to Him. Even if you cannot pray, just whisper His name: *"Jesus."* He hears you. He sees you. He loves you.
If you are in immediate danger or feel unable to cope, please reach out to a trusted believer, a pastor, or a crisis hotline *right now*. You are not meant to walk this road alone. We are praying for you, and we believe God is moving on your behalf. Hold on. *He is coming.*
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
