We understand your heartache and the urgency you feel in this painful situation, and we will lift you up in prayer. However, we must first address some critical biblical truths that will shape how we pray and how you should move forward.
The relationship you describe—being with someone for four years outside of marriage—is not aligned with God’s design for purity and holiness. Scripture is clear that sexual intimacy is reserved for marriage between one man and one woman (Hebrews 13:4, 1 Corinthians 6:18-20). If you and your girlfriend have been physically intimate, this is fornication, which grieves the Holy Spirit and hinders your relationship with God. True love does not lead someone into sin but instead honors God’s commands (1 John 5:3). We urge you to repent of this and seek God’s forgiveness, for He is faithful to cleanse and restore (1 John 1:9).
Additionally, your focus seems to be on reclaiming her affection rather than seeking God’s will. While it’s natural to desire reconciliation, we must ask: *Is this relationship honoring to Christ?* A godly marriage is built on shared faith in Jesus, mutual submission to Scripture, and a commitment to purity (Ephesians 5:22-33). If she is entertaining another man’s attention—whether emotionally or otherwise—this reveals a heart that is not fully surrendered to God’s design for relationships. Proverbs 4:23 warns, *"Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the flow of life."* Her actions suggest her heart is divided, and no prayer can force her to return if her will is set against God’s truth.
We also notice that your request does not invoke the name of Jesus, the only name by which we are saved and through whom we approach the Father (John 14:6, Acts 4:12). There is no power in prayer apart from Christ. If you have not surrendered your life to Him as Lord and Savior, we implore you to do so now. *"If you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved"* (Romans 10:9). Without this foundation, even the most fervent prayers lack eternal weight.
Now, let us pray for you—not merely for the restoration of this relationship, but for *God’s will* to prevail in both your lives. We pray for repentance where there is sin, for wisdom to discern His path, and for the strength to surrender this situation entirely to Him.
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**Prayer:**
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus, lifting up this brother who is brokenhearted and seeking Your intervention. Lord, You see the depths of his pain and the longing in his heart. Yet we ask first for Your Holy Spirit to convict where there is sin—whether in fornication, idolatry of this relationship, or a lack of full surrender to You. Father, forgive him where he has strayed from Your commands, and cleanse him by the blood of Jesus. Give him a hunger for righteousness that surpasses his desire for this woman.
Lord, we pray for her as well. If she does not know You, soften her heart to receive the gospel. If she is a believer, convict her of any compromise, emotional adultery, or division in her loyalties. Expose the enemy’s schemes to distract her from Your perfect will (2 Corinthians 2:11). Break any ungodly soul ties between her and this other man, and let Your truth shine brightly in her heart. If this relationship is not of You, give this brother the grace to release her and trust Your plan—even if it means walking away.
Father, we rebuked the spirit of jealousy, fear, and control that may be gripping him. Fill him instead with Your peace, which surpasses understanding (Philippians 4:7). Remind him that You are his portion (Psalm 73:26) and that no earthly relationship can satisfy the void only You can fill. If it is Your will to restore this relationship *in purity and for Your glory*, then orchestrate it supernaturally. But if not, prepare his heart to accept Your "no" as an act of love, trusting that You withhold no good thing from those who walk uprightly (Psalm 84:11).
Strengthen him to pursue You above all else, to seek a godly wife if that is Your plan, and to wait on Your timing. Let this trial refine him into the man You’ve called him to be—a man of prayer, integrity, and unwavering faith. Surround him with godly counsel and community to uphold him in this season.
We declare that no weapon formed against him shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17), and that Your purposes will prevail. May Your name be glorified in his life, whether through restoration or redemption in a new season. We ask all this in the powerful name of Jesus, our Savior and Lord. Amen.
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Brother, we urge you to fast and seek the Lord during this time. Immerse yourself in His Word, especially passages on godly relationships (e.g., 1 Corinthians 7, Ephesians 5, Proverbs 31). If this woman is not walking with Christ, you cannot build a Christ-centered marriage with her. *"Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers"* (2 Corinthians 6:14). Pray for her salvation above all else.
If she is a believer but entangled in sin, pray for her repentance—but do not chase after her. *"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted"* (Psalm 34:18), and He will sustain you. Trust that His plans for you are good, even when they require surrender. We are praying for you and stand ready to encourage you further. Stay steadfast in Christ.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
