We understand the deep pain and longing you’re experiencing right now, and we want to lift you up in prayer while also speaking truth into this situation. First, we must address something critical: you mentioned a "girlfriend," but as believers, we are called to pursue relationships with the intent of godly marriage, not just dating for the sake of companionship. Courtship should be purposeful, centered on Christ, and aimed at honoring God in all things. If this relationship was not aligned with biblical principles—such as physical purity, mutual faith in Christ, or a commitment to marriage—then we must encourage you to seek God’s will above all else, even in reconciliation.
The pain of separation is real, and we grieve with you, but we also remind you that emotions like frustration or anger should never dictate our decisions. The Bible warns us in **Ephesians 4:26-27**, *"Be angry, and don’t sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath, and don’t give place to the devil."* When we act out of fleshly emotions, we open doors to the enemy’s schemes. Breaking up in a moment of frustration is not the way God intends for us to handle conflict. Instead, we are called to **"be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger"** (James 1:19). Repentance is necessary here—not just for the words spoken but for allowing emotions to guide your actions rather than the Holy Spirit.
You also mentioned that God "put you together" last year. We must be cautious with such statements, as God’s will is not always as clear as we might feel in the moment. Feelings can deceive us, but God’s Word never does. **Proverbs 3:5-6** tells us, *"Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."* If this relationship is truly from God, He will restore it in His timing and in a way that brings glory to Him. But if it is not, He will redirect your steps toward His perfect plan. Your desire to include God "even stronger this time" is commendable, but we must ask: Was He truly at the center before? Were you both walking in obedience, or were there areas of compromise—perhaps in purity, communication, or prioritizing Christ above the relationship?
If there was sexual immorality (fornication) in this relationship, this is a serious matter before God. **1 Corinthians 6:18** commands, *"Flee sexual immorality! 'Every sin that a man does is outside the body,' but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body."* If this was present, true repentance is required—not just sorrow for losing the relationship, but godly sorrow that leads to turning away from sin. Reconciliation cannot be built on a foundation of disobedience. If you both are believers, the relationship must be redeemed through Christ, with a commitment to holiness and marriage as the goal.
Now, let’s address forgiveness. Your girlfriend said she struggles to forgive you, and that is a heavy burden for both of you. **Colossians 3:13** says, *"bearing with one another and forgiving each other, if any man has a complaint against any. Even as Christ forgave you, so you also do."* Forgiveness is not optional for believers—it is a command. However, you cannot force her to forgive; that is between her and God. What you *can* do is seek God’s face, repent of your own sins (including any harsh words or impatience), and trust Him to soften her heart. **1 Peter 4:8** reminds us, *"Above all things be earnest in your love among yourselves, for love covers a multitude of sins."*
As for wanting her back, we must ask: Is this desire rooted in godly love, or in loneliness, fear, or attachment? **1 John 4:7-8** says, *"Beloved, let’s love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves has been born of God, and knows God. He who doesn’t love doesn’t know God, for God is love."* If your desire is pure—seeking her good, her walk with Christ, and a future that honors God—then pray fervently. But if your motives are selfish, ask God to purify your heart.
Here is our prayer for you:
*"Heavenly Father, we lift up our brother to You, knowing that You are the God who heals broken hearts and binds up wounds. Lord, we ask for Your peace to flood his soul, a peace that surpasses all understanding. If this relationship is of You, we pray for restoration—*not* based on fleeting emotions, but on a foundation of repentance, forgiveness, and a shared commitment to Christ. Convict both of their hearts where there has been sin, and grant them the humility to turn from it. If this relationship is not Your will, give him the strength to surrender it to You, trusting that Your plans are far greater than his own.
Father, we rebuke the spirit of frustration, impatience, and fear that has driven his actions. Fill him with Your Spirit, that he may walk in wisdom, self-control, and love. Soften her heart toward forgiveness, but even more, draw her closer to You. Let neither of them be unequally yoked with unbelief or disobedience. If they are to be together, let it be for Your glory, in purity, and with marriage as the godly goal.
We pray that You would guard his mind from obsession or idolatry in this season. Remind him that his ultimate satisfaction is found in You alone. Give him wisdom in how to proceed—whether to pursue reconciliation (if it is righteous to do so) or to release this relationship into Your hands. May he seek Your kingdom first, trusting that all things will be added to him as You see fit.
In the mighty name of Jesus, who reconciles all things to Himself, we pray. Amen."*
Finally, we urge you to seek godly counsel—perhaps from a pastor or mature believer who can speak into your life with wisdom. Spend time in **Psalm 37**, which reminds us to *"delight yourself in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart."* But remember, this promise is for those who *first* delight in Him. Surrender this situation entirely to God, and trust that He is working all things for your good (Romans 8:28). If He restores this relationship, it will be stronger and more Christ-centered. If He does not, He has something even better for you—a future aligned with His perfect will.
Stay in the Word, brother. **Joshua 1:8** says, *"This book of the law shall not depart out of your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it; for then you shall make your way prosperous, and then you shall have good success."* Cling to Jesus, and He will lead you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding.
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