We hear your heart in this and we join with you in seeking God's will together in Jesus' name. We understand that sense you carry that your future spouse may be a prodigal, someone who has wandered from the Lord or who is only now coming to know Him, and we hear your honest prayer for grace to love such a one well.
We take comfort in how Scripture shows the heart of God toward prodigals. Jesus taught us in Luke 15:20 that while he was yet at a distance, his father saw him, and was moved with compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him. That is the Father's heart, and it reminds us that no one is too far for His grace to reach and restore. If the Lord is indeed preparing a prodigal to be your spouse, His work in that life will be one of repentance, return, and new life in Christ. We also remember Luke 15:24 for there is joy when the one who was dead is alive again, he who was lost is found.
We want to encourage you gently with biblical wisdom as you wait. We believe in the sanctity of marriage as a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman, and we encourage courtship that has marriage to another Christian believer as its goal, not simply a relationship or partnership. For this reason we are called to not be unequally yoked. As it is written in 2 Corinthians 6:14, Don't be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship has righteousness and iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? And in Amos 3:3, Do two walk together, unless they have agreed? If this person is currently away from the Lord or very new in the faith, we encourage you not to pursue a romantic courtship until there is clear evidence of a genuine, sustained walk with Christ and fruit that remains. A prodigal who has truly returned will need time to be discipled, rooted, and established, and you will need wisdom to discern the Lord's timing. We encourage you to pray for this future spouse as your brother or sister in Christ first, rather than seeking them out prematurely. As Proverbs 3:5-6 says, Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don't lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
We also hear your humility in saying you have been a Christian for many years and that loving a prodigal or a new believer would require a lot of grace. That is true, and God will supply it. His grace is not only for the prodigal but for you as well. In 2 Corinthians 12:9 He says, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Loving someone with a past will require the humility and patience described in Ephesians 4:2, with all lowliness and humility, with patience, bearing with one another in love, and in Colossians 3:12-13 putting on a heart of compassion, kindness, lowliness, humility, and perseverance, bearing with one another, and forgiving each other. Love will cover a multitude of sins as in 1 Peter 4:8, but it must be a love built on the foundation of shared faith and obedience to Christ. If God calls you to this, He will equip you, and He will also be shaping you now as you delight yourself in Him. As Psalm 37:4 reminds us, Delight yourself also in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart. If you lack wisdom about this sense you have, we cling to James 1:5, But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach; and it will be given to him.
We pray together for you now.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, Your Son, through whom alone we have access to You and by whom alone we are saved. We thank You for our brother or sister who loves You and desires a marriage that honors You. We ask for Your grace to be poured out abundantly upon them now in this season of waiting. Give them discernment, patience, and peace, and guard their heart from rushing ahead of Your perfect timing. We lift up this future spouse, wherever they are, whether wandering or newly coming to know Jesus. We pray You would draw them to Yourself, grant them repentance and faith, wash them in the blood of Jesus, and make them a new creation. Restore what has been lost, root them deeply in Your Word, in fellowship with Your people, and in obedience to You, so that if it is Your will to bring them together in marriage, they may walk together in unity, equally yoked, and for Your glory. Prepare them both to love with Your compassion, to bear with one another, and to build a Christ centered marriage that reflects Christ and the church. We ask for wisdom for every step, and we trust Your good plan. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.