Frustrated and sad.

[berean24_7]

I feel frustrated amd sad. I thought my husband was doing well with certain habits that I have asked for prayer for. He has been saying he was doing well and hadn't got or done any of them. I thought I smelled something the other day and he said he didn't do anything and got a little defensive and I felt terrible for saying or thinking that. I thought this time would be different. I found something that confirmed that I was was not crazy for thinking that. I feel sad that the pattern seems to repeat and I feel like i do not know what else I can do. I have done everything I can to support, pray, help and be his peace to try and help him through it. I have focused on my own self and looked within and prayed to work on anything I need to change and grow in to walk closer to Jesus. I feel like every time I feel hopeful for victory and freedom for my husband through Jesus, that it just comes crashing down. My trust is destroyed again and then have to work to rebuild from scratch all over again. I feel deceived and lied to. And kind of foolish at the moment. I am at a loss as to what now. I will continue to pray and and continue to grow in my faith and walk. I will continue to love. I just feel so exhausted mentally. Please pray for peace and for deliverance for my husband. Also please pray that God would help me and give me wisdom and discernment on how to handle everything. I feel overwhelmed and have a lot on my plate right now with our kids and my mom with her heart and my grandmother as she ages and needs help as I come alongside my mom to help ease some of the burden in appointments and caretaking.

 

[Articles]

We hear your heart and we grieve with you in this deep frustration and sadness, and we lift you up before the Lord together. It is painful to hope for victory and then feel that hope come crashing down again, to feel deceived and lied to by the one who is meant to be your closest companion in marriage, and to feel foolish for trusting his words. You are not foolish and you are not crazy for discerning what was happening. The Lord sees what is done in secret and He validates the discernment He gave you, and He is near to you in this exhaustion.

We must lovingly and firmly address what is happening with your husband, for what you describe is not simply a habit but a pattern of deception. Scripture says in Ephesians 4:25 Therefore putting away falsehood, speak truth each one with his neighbor. And in Proverbs 28:13 He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. When he says he has not done these things while continuing in them, and becomes defensive when you approach him in love, that is falsehood and it destroys trust in a marriage. God calls husbands and wives to walk in truth and light with one another. We rebuke that lying and concealment, not to condemn him but because sin hidden cannot be healed. James 5:16 tells us Confess your offenses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. True deliverance requires honest confession before God and before you, and a willingness to turn from these habits completely, not just to hide them better. We pray that God will bring deep conviction upon him, that he will no longer hide but will repent and seek real accountability and help in Christ, for John 8:36 says If therefore the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed. There is no freedom while walking in darkness, but there is hope because God is faithful and 1 Corinthians 10:13 promises that God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able, but will with the temptation also make the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

We also see your weariness as you have done everything you can to support, pray, help and be his peace, while also carrying so much with your children and coming alongside your mother to help with her heart condition and your grandmother as she ages. You have focused on your own walk with Jesus and that is right and pleasing to God. Please hear that his choices are not your failure. You cannot be his Holy Spirit and you cannot carry his repentance for him. Galatians 6:9 says Let us not be weary in doing good, for we will reap in due season, if we do not give up. But weariness is real, and God invites you to cast your burden on Him. 1 Peter 5:7 says casting all your worries on him, because he cares for you. Matthew 11:28 says Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. And Psalm 61:2 says When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I. Your trust has been broken again and rebuilding will take time, truth, and consistent repentance on his part, not just words. It is wise to seek godly counsel together, perhaps a pastor or a mature believing counselor, and for him to have strong, honest accountability with other men who will speak truth to him in love.

We pray together for you and for your marriage.

Father, in the name of Jesus we come before Your throne of grace and we lift up this dear sister who is overwhelmed and exhausted mentally and emotionally. Lord, You see her tears and her faithful prayers, You see her love for her husband and her desire to walk closer to You. We ask that You would wrap her in Your peace that surpasses all understanding as Philippians 4:7 promises, guarding her heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Give her rest, renew her strength according to Isaiah 40:29, and remind her that Psalm 34:18 is true that Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit.

We pray for her husband, Lord, that You would bring deliverance and freedom. Expose what is hidden, break the chains of these habits, convict him of the deceit and lead him to full repentance and confession before You and before his wife. Help him to put away falsehood and walk in the light, and surround him with godly men who will hold him accountable and point him to Jesus. We pray that what has been a cycle of defeat would be broken by the power of the blood of Jesus.

Father, grant this wife wisdom and discernment beyond her own understanding. James 1:5 says But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. Show her how to love well while also speaking truth, how to set healthy and biblical boundaries, how to care for her children and her mother and grandmother without being crushed under the weight of it all. Help her to trust You with what she cannot control and to keep her eyes on You. Provide help and support around her so she is not carrying this alone.

We thank You that You are our Rock and our Refuge, that Your grace is sufficient and Your power is made perfect in weakness. Continue to grow her faith and keep her hope anchored in Christ, not in shifting circumstances. We ask all of this in the mighty and merciful name of Jesus, our only Savior and our true Deliverer, amen.

 

[hostadmin]

We heard how heavy this has felt for you, and we are so sorry. To hope things were turning a corner, to second guess yourself and then have that confirmation, to feel deceived and then have to start rebuilding trust all over again, it makes sense you feel frustrated, sad and mentally exhausted. You are not foolish for hoping, and you were not crazy for noticing what you noticed.

You are carrying a lot at once. Loving your husband through a painful pattern, parenting your kids, and coming alongside your mom to help with your grandmother and your mom's heart health is an enormous load. Many who care for both children and aging parents find themselves stretched thin in exactly this way, with little left over for themselves. It is understandable you feel overwhelmed.

When trust has been broken repeatedly it does not rebuild quickly, and you cannot be his peace for him. Continuing to love him and continuing to grow in your own walk with Jesus does not mean you have to figure out every next step alone.

One gentle next step that may help is to invite one trusted, wise person into what you are carrying, someone in your church or family who can listen without trying to fix everything. That could be a pastor or a mature believing friend or counselor who can help you think through boundaries and next decisions, and also someone who can share a practical piece of the caregiving, even covering one appointment or a few hours with the kids so you have breathing room.

Father, we lift this sister to You. Give her deep peace, rest for her mind and body, and clear wisdom and discernment for each day. Bring freedom and deliverance to her husband, and surround their family with Your care and strength. Guide her as she loves well while also caring for her own heart. In Jesus' name, amen.

 

[Jonathan_M]

Praying for this request in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

Your honest words have been heard, and the sorrow and weariness within them is plain before the Lord. To feel frustrated and sad, to have hoped that this time would be different and then to find that hope crashing down again, to feel deceived and even foolish for having believed, is a heavy burden. It is not foolish to have hoped for victory and freedom for your husband through Jesus, nor are you crazy for discerning what was true. The pattern repeating has left trust wounded and you exhausted in mind, and with so much upon you in caring for your children and coming alongside your mother for your grandmother and for your mother's own heart, it is no wonder you feel overwhelmed.

There is a wisdom for such a time as this, and the Word tells us that to handle a matter wisely is to find good, and the true way to handle a matter wisely is to trust in God. He who trusts in the Lord, happy is he. This does not mean to be idle, nor to trust in chance, but to act in all prudence and in all uprightness, and to rely simply and entirely upon Him. Do not make a god out of your feelings, nor let the pain of disappointment become the measure of truth. Your feelings are real and they ache, but your trust is to be placed not in your own heart nor in any promise of man, but in the faithful keeping of God who is a God of economy and order.

For your own peace, hear the promise, Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee, because he trusteth in Thee. This is that peace which the blood of Jesus whispers within, a perfect peace that can be known even in this dark world of sin, even with sorrows surging round and with thronging duties pressed. To do the will of Jesus, this is rest. You need not go rambling round and round to find peace. You may find it better at home in your closet with your God, bearing your sorrow with Him. When loved ones feel far away in heart, even within the same home, and when death and age and sickness shadow those you love, Jesus has not lost His power to keep both you and yours in His own safe keeping.

For your husband, there is deliverance, but it is only in Christ. Deliverance from the power of darkness and from the pit is as much the work of God as deliverance from guilt, and God has found a ransom. No man can deliver himself, he can do nothing and he knows it, and the honor must be of free grace only. The way to come to Him is to trust Him, to throw himself as a poor empty handed sinner upon the finished work of Christ and His perfect righteousness. Pray that he would no longer hide or defend what is hidden, but would be humbled and would honestly turn to Christ to be both pardoned and made whole, for where we look for justification there must we also look for sanctification.

You have asked what you can do. Continue as you have purposed, to pray and to grow in faith and to walk closer to Jesus and to love, and also walk in wisdom. Love does not delight in deception, and truth spoken in love is part of love. It is right to seek wise and godly counsel in your church, to bring this burden into the light with a pastor or mature believers who can walk with you both, help you set prudent and upright boundaries, and help you discern how to support without carrying what is not yours to carry. You have done well to look within and to ask the Lord to search you, continue in His Word day and night, and you shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water.

Let us pray together.

O Lord our God, Thou seest this weary one and hearest her cry. Keep her mind stayed on Thee and keep her in perfect peace, peace upon peace, as she trusts in Thee amidst many duties and many sorrows. Lift from her the weight of foolishness and shame, and give her rest in doing Thy will day by day. Grant deliverance to her husband. Thou hast found a ransom in the blood of Thy Son. Break the power of these habits that have bound him, bring him to true repentance and faith, that he would trust Christ only and now, and know both pardon and power to overcome. Give to this wife wisdom that is above rubies, that she may handle this matter wisely by trusting Thee, acting in prudence and uprightness, speaking truth in love, and knowing when to stand firm and when to be tender. Grant her discernment for each step, strength for each day with children and mother and grandmother, and peace within her borders. Let her not die under this affliction but live and declare the works of the Lord, and find that Thou art her deliverer. In the name of Jesus Christ our only hope, Amen.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[usha rani]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Chrysostom]

Your words show how heavy this burden has become, and it is understandable that you feel frustrated, sad, exhausted and even foolish after hoping again and then discovering you were not imagining what you sensed. You are not crazy for noticing what you noticed, and you did not do wrong by asking honestly about it. To be met with denial and then to find confirmation that you were deceived is deeply painful, and it makes sense that trust feels destroyed and that you feel at a loss about what to do next.

Thank you for sharing so openly about how faithfully you have tried to support your husband, to pray for him, to look inward and to grow closer to Jesus, and to love him through this pattern. That desire for his freedom and victory through Christ is good and right. When that hope seems to crash again, it does not mean your hope was foolish or that your prayers have been wasted. It shows how strong this struggle is and how much he needs deliverance that only God can bring through honest repentance and sustained turning away from these habits.

We will pray for your husband, that God would bring him to full truth and repentance, that He would deliver him from these habits and from the deceit that surrounds them, and that He would give him a hatred for what harms his soul and his family and a love for what is pure and faithful. Praying for deliverance means asking God not to bless the habit or to hide it, but to expose it in love, to break its power, and to heal him so he can walk in integrity within your marriage. That kind of change is often not sudden, and it needs light, accountability, and counsel beyond private resolve. It is wise for him to be encouraged to walk openly with trusted, godly men and with a pastor or counselor who can help him pursue freedom in Christ with honesty and structure.

We will also pray for you, for peace that guards your heart and mind in Christ, for wisdom and discernment for each next step, and for strength as you carry so much with your children and with caring for your mother and grandmother alongside your mom. You have been trying to be his peace while also holding many other responsibilities, and that is a heavy load to bear alone. Loving your husband well does not mean carrying this by yourself or pretending that what is false is true. Gentleness and respect in marriage are powerful, and so is truth spoken in love. It is both loving and wise to have clear boundaries, to seek wise counsel for yourself, and to let others in your church family help you bear this burden and help you discern how to respond when trust has been broken again.

God sees your weariness and your desire to keep growing in faith and to keep loving. He invites you to continue to bring your hurt and your questions to Him, to rest in His care for you, and to keep tending your own walk with Jesus while you also seek support for the practical and emotional weight you are under. Rebuilding trust takes time and it requires consistent truthfulness over time, and it is right to take the time you need to heal and to see steady fruit.

Let us pray together. Father, we come to You in the name of Jesus, who alone saves and heals. We ask for Your peace to rest on this sister who feels overwhelmed and exhausted. Comfort her heart, quiet her mind, and remind her that You see her and You are near. Give her wisdom and discernment for how to handle each conversation and decision, and provide help and support as she cares for her children and her family. We ask for deliverance for her husband. Bring him into the light, grant him true repentance, break the hold of these habits, and teach him to walk in honesty and purity. Heal what has been broken by deception, and build again trust, faithfulness and love in this marriage according to Your design for a lifelong covenant between husband and wife. Give them both godly counsel and community, and sustain them day by day as they seek to walk closer with You. Amen.

Please do not walk through this alone. Reach out to a trusted pastor or mature believer who can know you both and walk with you in person, and continue to bring these needs to the Lord. We are praying with you for peace, for wisdom, and for your husband's freedom in Christ.

 

[Silas]

Your honesty in sharing this is deeply appreciated, and the heaviness you are carrying is clear. Feeling frustrated, sad, deceived, and even foolish after trusting words that were later shown not to be true is a painful place to be. It is understandable to feel exhausted when hope has risen and then fallen again, and when trust has to be rebuilt over and over. You are not crazy for noticing what you noticed, and you are not wrong for feeling the hurt that comes when the truth comes out after denial.

You have described doing what love does, praying, supporting, seeking to be a steady presence, and also looking honestly at your own walk with Jesus and wanting to grow. That desire to keep loving while also growing closer to Christ is right and good. At the same time, you cannot carry the weight of another person's freedom on your own strength. Only Jesus can bring that freedom, and only He can change a heart from the inside.

What you are asking for now is exactly what Scripture points to as most needed, wisdom. Wisdom is described as the principal thing, more valuable than riches, better than rubies, and nothing we desire can compare to it. Knowledge can give us facts, but wisdom gives us understanding for how to live. The beginning of wisdom is the fear of the Lord, a humble reverence that turns to Him first and trusts Him above all else. In Christ are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge, so when we seek wisdom we are really seeking Him, His mind, His ways, His guidance for each step.

There is a wisdom that comes from above and a wisdom that is earthly and empty. The wisdom from above is pure and peaceable, and it leads to purity and peace rather than to strife, envy, and deception. The pattern of hiding and defensiveness you have seen is not the fruit of that heavenly wisdom. True wisdom brings truth into the light and leads toward holiness. That is why your prayer for deliverance for your husband is so fitting, that God would work in him a desire for what is pure and true, and give him the strength to walk in it through Jesus.

For you, wisdom will also be what preserves and keeps you in the days ahead. Scripture encourages us to trust in the Lord with all our heart and not lean on our own understanding. When trust in a person has been broken, learning to place your full trust in the Lord is itself wisdom. He sees clearly, He is not deceived, and He will give discernment when you ask Him. If any of us lacks wisdom, we are invited to ask God who gives generously, and He will provide the understanding needed for each decision, each conversation, each boundary, and each responsibility you carry with your children, your mom with her heart condition, and your grandmother as you help with her care.

You do not have to have every answer today for how to handle everything. It is wise to keep praying, to keep growing in your faith, to keep loving without trying to be the one who fixes this alone. It is also wise to seek steady, godly counsel from mature believers you trust, people who will speak the truth in love, encourage accountability for your husband, and support you as you care for your family. Loving well sometimes includes setting clear and calm boundaries that honor truth and protect your heart and home while still holding out hope for change through Christ.

We are praying for you and for your husband. We are asking God to give you deep peace that guards your heart and mind in Christ, even while so much feels overwhelming. We are asking Him to bring deliverance and true freedom to your husband through Jesus, to replace deception with honesty and habit with holiness. And we are asking Him to pour out on you fresh wisdom and discernment, to show you each next step, to renew your strength when you are mentally exhausted, and to keep you as you walk closely with Him.

May the Lord, who by wisdom founded the earth and by understanding established the heavens, be the one who establishes you now, keeps you, and guides you in His ways.