Friend Sudden Behavior Change

[Anonymous]

I am seeking prayer and God reveal what is going on with a so called Aunt I consider a relative. Out of no where in the middle of September she begins acting weird. I didn’t reach out one weekend after I notice her not contacting me over a week. Then she suddenly text saying I don’t wanna be bothered. I replied I am in a good mood and having a wonderful day. I explain she was the one behaving different and I let her be. She claims I am the one and I sent her a long prayer hoping it would help. Days go by she ends up texting again saying God put something on her heart saying Satan will cause confusion between people and we should not behave like this with each other that she forgave me. I didn’t respond a day or two out of confusion but I was in peace too. I did not want to argue or even deal with any negativity. I end up calling her a 2 days after that and her tone sounded very miserable. I asked her exactly what I did that needed forgiveness and she goes I don’t know it is in the past now. Then she ask me to take her to the store that Sunday I did. Well she called some guy she been dealing with to come to the car to get the groceries and he didn’t respond. I end up taking them to the door but her body language appeared like going in wasn’t something she’d like. Normally I do go in and put the groceries on the couch, use the bathroom if need be and walk out. Not this time and I was cool with that as I walked to the car thinking. I called her once I got home and told her I made it. There has been a recent call where the guy was in the background as I talk with her once the phone. The next day I called her and we talked then out of no where she rush off the phone saying would call me later then says I will text you. We both hung up. I have not done nothing to her and I am confused about the behavior I am receiving. Not sure what is taking place in her life, house or with this guy. However, I ask God to bring forth the truth and whether or not I should cut ties with her altogether. I have a heart of gold and I try to help others as much as I can seeking nothing in return. I deserve better treatment and at this point I want God to clarify everything before I make a decision in Jesus Name Amen! Thank Everyone For Praying Too

 

[Articles]

We have heard your heart and we join with you in seeking the Lord for wisdom and clarity in this confusing situation with your ###, for we know how painful it is when someone we love suddenly changes toward us without explanation.

We understand your confusion and your desire for truth before you make any decision about cutting ties, and we agree that God is the one who reveals what is hidden. As it is written, He reveals the deep and secret things Daniel 2:22 and there is nothing hidden that will not be revealed Luke 8:17. We also take to heart what she texted, that Satan does seek to cause confusion between people, for God is not a God of confusion, but of peace 1 Corinthians 14:33 and we must not give place to the devil Ephesians 4:27. At the same time, peace does not always mean silence or distance, and we want to gently encourage you to consider how withholding a response for a day or two, even out of a desire to avoid negativity, can sometimes add to misunderstanding. We are called to be quick to listen and to speak the truth in love.

We see that you have tried to show kindness, you sent a long prayer, you took her to the store, you called to say you made it home, and you have a heart to help others expecting nothing in return, which the Lord sees and honors. Yet we also want to lovingly address the thought that you deserve better treatment. While it is right to expect respect and to set healthy boundaries, Scripture reminds us that we all have sinned and stand in need of grace, and our worth is found not in what we deserve but in Christ's love for us. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit Psalm 34:18. We encourage you to continue to trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight Proverbs 3:5-6. If you lack wisdom about whether to maintain this relationship or to step back, we are promised that if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him James 1:5.

Regarding whether to cut ties altogether, we would counsel you not to make a hasty decision out of hurt. The Lord calls us to pursue peace as far as it depends on us Romans 12:18 and to be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you Ephesians 4:32. Forgiveness was mentioned by her without a clear offense, and you were right to ask calmly what needed forgiving. If possible, we encourage one more gentle, direct conversation in person or by phone, asking for clarity with humility and without accusation, following the pattern of going to your brother or sister privately to seek reconciliation Matthew 18:15. If she remains vague, miserable in tone, or unwilling to communicate openly, it may be wise to give her space while keeping the door open in love, and to set boundaries for your own peace.

We also noticed you mentioned a man she has been dealing with who was in the background and who she called to help with groceries. We do not know the nature of that relationship, but we must speak truth in love. If she is involved with a man outside of marriage, whether in a dating relationship that involves sexual intimacy or living together, Scripture calls that fornication if neither has been married before, or adultery if either has, and it is outside of God's design. Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the bed undefiled Hebrews 13:4, and marriage is intended as a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman. We do not say this to condemn her, but to pray for her, because bad company corrupts good morals 1 Corinthians 15:33 and an ungodly relationship can bring confusion, misery, and distance from loved ones and from the Lord. We will pray that if this man is not a godly husband, that the Lord would convict and redirect her, and if marriage is His will, that it would be pursued in purity and commitment to Christ, with courtship that honors God and seeks a spouse who is a believer in Jesus.

We are grateful that you prayed in Jesus' name, for it is only through Him that we have access to the Father, and there is no other name under heaven by which we must be saved Acts 4:12 and Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life, no one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6. We cling to that truth as we pray.

We pray together now, Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, asking for Your wisdom and discernment for our dear one who is hurting and confused. Lord, reveal what is hidden and bring truth into the light in Your perfect timing, heal any wound caused by harsh words or sudden distance, and guard this heart from bitterness. Give grace to forgive even when the offense is unclear, and give words that bring peace and not strife. We lift up this ### to You, You know what is taking place in her life, her home, and with this man, and we ask You to work in her heart, draw her closer to You, convict her of anything that does not honor You, and lead her into wholeness and truth. If there is an ungodly relationship, we pray You would bring repentance or bring it into godly order through marriage if it is Your will, otherwise separate it for her good. Show our loved one whether to continue to help and stay closely connected or to lovingly step back and set boundaries, and let Your peace which passes all understanding guard heart and mind. Help us both to walk in love, to not let the sun go down on anger Ephesians 4:26, and to trust that You are working all things for good for those who love You Romans 8:28. We ask all this in the mighty and merciful name of Jesus, Amen.

 

[hostadmin]

We hear how disorienting this has been for you, and how much you have tried to respond with kindness. When someone you care about suddenly pulls away, says you do not want to be bothered, then later says she has forgiven you without naming what for, it is natural to feel confused and even hurt. You did not do anything wrong by giving her space and then reaching out calmly.

One thing that may help as you pray for clarity is to separate forgiveness from closeness. Forgiveness is a choice to release resentment, but rebuilding trust and closeness is different and takes mutual honesty and consistency over time. When an apology or forgiveness feels vague, it is okay to notice that and not carry blame that was never explained.

As you seek God's direction about whether to stay close or step back, a gentle next step could be to give this relationship a little breathing room and watch the pattern. You asked clearly what you had done, and she said it was in the past. You have shown willingness to talk and to help. For now, let her words and actions show you where she is, without chasing repeated explanations. Keep being kind, but also guard your peace and your time. A trusted friend or pastor who knows you both can also help you sort what is healthy going forward.

Father, we lift our friend to You and ask for Your peace and wisdom in this confusing situation. Show what is true and guide the next steps, protect both hearts from hurt and confusion, and help our friend know when to extend care and when to set a loving boundary. Give clarity and rest as she trusts You with this decision. In Jesus' name, Amen.

 

[usha rani]

Praying for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

Your honest and troubled account has been laid before the Lord with prayerful attention, and the confusion and hurt you describe are not hidden from Him who sees in secret. A sense of the Presence of God, that conscience which prompts the soul to say, You, God, see me, will keep you in a healthy fear which will inspirit you rather than intimidate you in this trial, and will guard you from both bitter resentment and hasty judgment.

There is a word which I would have you hear above all others in this season, that there is forgiveness with God. This is not a forgiveness which man can grant, for though we ought to desire the forgiveness of our fellow creatures, it is not necessary that we should have it to enter heaven. It is a divine forgiveness, I even I am He that blotteth out thy transgressions, and it is a surprising forgiveness, so free and full that the Lord Himself speaks as one astonished at the abundance of His own mercy. If you tremble under any sense of your own sin, and with a penitent heart desire forgiveness, know that there is forgiveness with Him through Jesus Christ His Son, and that forgiveness is to be obtained from God through Christ alone. There was forgiveness, there is forgiveness, there will be forgiveness as long as life lasts for every repenting and believing sinner who comes to Him. Make a clean breast of it before God in the humblest and most honest language you can use, and you shall receive the Lord's full and free forgiveness.

And having received such mercy, you are then called to copy the pattern set before you, even as Christ forgave you, so also do you. The Lord Jesus forgives His people in a continuous manner. He forgave us long ago, He still forgives us, He does not forgive and afterwards accuse. His forgiveness is eternal, complete, and the tally is destroyed, the record nailed to the Cross. In urging you to this, let me remind you that forgiveness is gloriously ennobling. Revenge is paltry, forgiveness is great minded. It is a joint stock business of mutual forgiveness, and members of the household of faith should take large shares in it, forgiving one another.

This does not mean that forgiveness requires you to pretend that nothing has happened, or to grant the same nearness of fellowship without wisdom. Your aunt has spoken of Satan causing confusion between people and of forgiveness, yet when asked what needed forgiveness she could not say. That vagueness, together with the sudden coldness, the miserable tone, the shifting body language and the presence of this man in her home and on the phone, suggests that something is indeed at work in her life which you do not yet see. You are right to ask God to bring forth the truth before you make a settled decision, for everyone that is godly will pray unto Him in a time when He may be found.

We will pray with you that the Lord will reveal what is hidden and order all things according to His holy will. We do not ask God to bless any relationship or arrangement that is outside His good design, for we know that marriage is His institution, a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and that intimacy and living together belong within that covenant alone. If there is any entanglement in her house that is not ordered by that rule, we pray the Lord will bring conviction, repentance and purity, and that He will draw both you and her to salvation through Jesus Christ alone, in whom alone there is forgiveness and peace. We pray also that whatever influence this man may have, whether it be confusion, control, or sin, will be exposed by the light of Christ.

As for cutting ties, do not act in heat or in wounded pride. You say you have a heart of gold and seek nothing in return, and that you deserve better treatment. It is right to desire to be treated with kindness, yet take care that your heart remains tender and not hardened. Forgive freely as you have been forgiven, release the debt, keep no bitter record, but also walk with prudence. Love does not require you to expose yourself continually to mystery and unkindness. Set a quiet boundary, speak the truth in love when opportunity is given, and commit the outcome to God. Continue to show kindness as you have done, taking groceries, calling to say you arrived home, but do not chase after fellowship that is repeatedly withdrawn. Wait upon the Lord, watch and pray, and He will make your path plain.

Let us pray together. O Lord our God, with whom there is forgiveness that Thou mayest be feared, look upon this Thy servant who is perplexed and grieved. Thou seest all that is done in secret. Bring forth the truth into the light, and let no confusion of the adversary prevail. Grant a penitent heart where sin is found, and grant full forgiveness through the blood of Christ to all who call upon Him. Teach Thy child to forgive even as Christ has forgiven, yet to walk in wisdom and in the fear of the Lord. Order every home and every relationship according to Thy holy Word, and keep this soul in perfect peace as trust is stayed upon Thee. In the name of Jesus Christ our only Saviour, Amen.

 

[Jonathan_M]

I prayed for this request in Jesus Name.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

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