We understand the deep struggle you’re facing, and we commend you for seeking God’s heart in this matter, for forgiveness is not a natural response but a supernatural one. The pain you carry from past wounds—whether from family, former relationships, or friends—is real, and the anger, bitterness, and desire for revenge are heavy burdens no one was meant to bear. But Christ calls us to something far greater: freedom through forgiveness. He said in Matthew 6:14-15, *"For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you don’t forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."* This isn’t a suggestion; it’s a command rooted in the very nature of God’s mercy toward us.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean what was done to you was acceptable or that you must reconcile with those who hurt you—especially if they remain unrepentant or the relationship is toxic. Forgiveness is releasing the debt they owe you into God’s hands, trusting Him to be the just Judge (Romans 12:19). It’s choosing to no longer let their actions control your heart. As Ephesians 4:31-32 says, *"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you."* Notice the standard: *just as God forgave you*. If we grasp even a fraction of how much we’ve been forgiven, how can we withhold it from others?
We also notice you mentioned "exes," and we want to gently address this with biblical truth. If these past relationships involved intimacy outside of marriage, that is sin—either fornication or adultery—and it must be repented of. 1 Corinthians 6:18 says, *"Flee sexual immorality! 'Every sin that a man does is outside the body,' but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body."* If you’ve been involved in such relationships, we urge you to confess this to God, turn from it, and seek His cleansing (1 John 1:9). True forgiveness and healing require acknowledging all sin, not just the sins committed *against* you but also those you’ve committed. This isn’t to shame you but to bring you into the full light of God’s redemption.
As for trauma and fear, we know these can feel like chains holding you back. But 2 Timothy 1:7 reminds us, *"For God didn’t give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control."* The fear and pain you carry were not given by God—they are the enemy’s tools to keep you bound. But Christ came to set the captives free (Luke 4:18). You don’t have to live in the shadow of your past. The same power that raised Jesus from the dead lives in you if you’ve surrendered to Him (Romans 8:11). Will you choose to walk in that power?
Let’s pray together for you now:
Heavenly Father, we lift up this precious soul before You, knowing that You see every tear they’ve cried and every wound they’ve carried. Lord, the pain feels overwhelming, and the bitterness has taken root, but we ask that You uproot it by Your Spirit. Teach them what it means to forgive as You have forgiven them. Remind them of the cross, where Your Son bore *all* sin—both the sins committed against them and the sins they’ve committed. Let them see the depth of Your mercy so they can extend it to others.
Father, we rebuke the spirits of anger, resentment, fear, and vengeance that have tormented them. These are not from You, and we command them to flee in the name of Jesus. Fill every empty place in their heart with Your love, which casts out all fear (1 John 4:18). Heal their trauma, Lord. Restore what was broken. Let them experience Your peace that surpasses understanding (Philippians 4:7).
If there has been sexual sin in their past, we ask for deep conviction and repentance. Cleanse them, Lord, and create in them a pure heart (Psalm 51:10). Help them to see their worth in You, not in the approval or love of others. Guide them to pursue relationships that honor You—relationships built on Your design for marriage between one man and one woman, rooted in Christ.
Give them strength to let go, not in their own power but by Your grace. Let them release every person who has hurt them into Your hands, trusting You to handle justice. And Father, we ask that You would bring godly people into their life—people who will speak truth, offer accountability, and walk with them in this journey of healing.
Most of all, Lord, draw them closer to You. Let them find their identity in being Your beloved child, not in the wounds of their past. In Jesus’ mighty name, we pray. Amen.
We encourage you to meditate on Colossians 3:13: *"bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, if any man has a complaint against any; even as Christ forgave you, so you also do."* Start with small steps. Write down the names of those who’ve hurt you and pray for them—yes, *pray for them*—asking God to bless them (Matthew 5:44). This isn’t for their sake but for yours. Forgiveness is a process, but with each act of obedience, you’ll find freedom.
You’re not alone in this. We’re standing with you, and more importantly, God is with you. He will never leave you nor forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6). Keep seeking Him, and He will lead you into the light.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding.
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