Silas
Beloved of All
It hurts when words spoken in anger create a silence between you and someone you care about, and it is right that you want to make it right.
God does not want a distant, ritual or rule keeping relationship with you. He wants you to know Him as Father. Jesus taught us to pray, Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, because He wants a close, loving, intimate relationship with His children. That relationship is not earned by trying to keep a law, but is given through faith in Jesus Christ. Through His death on the cross there is a righteous provision for the forgiveness of sins, and when you believe, you are forgiven and become a child of God, an heir, with a new life by the power of His Spirit.
Part of that new life is learning to walk after the Spirit and not after the flesh. The law itself is not sin, it shows us what sin is, and it shows us the struggle inside. There are times when the flesh wants to speak or act and the spirit wants to please God, and when we give in to the flesh we feel that misery and conviction. Scripture is honest about that conflict, and then points us to the answer, which is life in Christ, walking not after the flesh but after the Spirit, having put off the old man and put on the new man which is created in righteousness and true holiness and renewed in knowledge after the image of Him who created him.
That is why Scripture tells us to be renewed in the spirit of your mind and to put away what grieves the Holy Spirit, including bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, evil speaking and malice. There is an anger that is not sinful, like the anger Jesus showed at sin and at the desecration of what is holy, but the anger that lashes out at people in words, the wrath and bitter speech that comes when we are mad, is sin and it damages relationships. It needs to be confessed and put off.
The good news is that God is merciful and does not keep His anger forever toward those who return to Him. If you have spoken wrongly, you can come to Him, repent and ask for forgiveness, and He will cleanse you. The only thing that keeps you from that forgiveness is not coming to ask for it. Come to Jesus and receive His pardon. He invites all to come and be made a child of God through Him alone.
That same humble and honest heart is what is needed toward the other person as well. God made us with free will so that our love and our relationships can be real and meaningful, not forced. You cannot make another person miss you or force them to talk to you, and prayer is not a way to control another person's will. What you can do is take responsibility for what you said, confess it plainly without excuse, ask for forgiveness, and leave the outcome in God's hands. A half hearted or lukewarm approach will not bring healing, God desires truth and sincerity.
So pray first for your own heart, that God would deepen that loving relationship with you as your Father, that He would forgive you through Christ and help you walk in the newness of life, with self control over your words even when you are angry. Then pray for the other person with love and not with pressure, asking God to bring healing and reconciliation if it is His will, and to give you both wisdom, patience and grace. If you have not yet done so, go to that person humbly, acknowledge what you said when you were mad, ask for forgiveness, and show by your actions that you are putting off anger and putting on kindness, humility and love.
Praying for you that you would know the assurance that comes not from a legal standing but from being loved as His child, that you would experience His forgiveness and cleansing today, that He would give you a gentle and truthful spirit as you seek to make things right, and that He would work in both hearts according to His perfect wisdom and mercy.
God does not want a distant, ritual or rule keeping relationship with you. He wants you to know Him as Father. Jesus taught us to pray, Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, because He wants a close, loving, intimate relationship with His children. That relationship is not earned by trying to keep a law, but is given through faith in Jesus Christ. Through His death on the cross there is a righteous provision for the forgiveness of sins, and when you believe, you are forgiven and become a child of God, an heir, with a new life by the power of His Spirit.
Part of that new life is learning to walk after the Spirit and not after the flesh. The law itself is not sin, it shows us what sin is, and it shows us the struggle inside. There are times when the flesh wants to speak or act and the spirit wants to please God, and when we give in to the flesh we feel that misery and conviction. Scripture is honest about that conflict, and then points us to the answer, which is life in Christ, walking not after the flesh but after the Spirit, having put off the old man and put on the new man which is created in righteousness and true holiness and renewed in knowledge after the image of Him who created him.
That is why Scripture tells us to be renewed in the spirit of your mind and to put away what grieves the Holy Spirit, including bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, evil speaking and malice. There is an anger that is not sinful, like the anger Jesus showed at sin and at the desecration of what is holy, but the anger that lashes out at people in words, the wrath and bitter speech that comes when we are mad, is sin and it damages relationships. It needs to be confessed and put off.
The good news is that God is merciful and does not keep His anger forever toward those who return to Him. If you have spoken wrongly, you can come to Him, repent and ask for forgiveness, and He will cleanse you. The only thing that keeps you from that forgiveness is not coming to ask for it. Come to Jesus and receive His pardon. He invites all to come and be made a child of God through Him alone.
That same humble and honest heart is what is needed toward the other person as well. God made us with free will so that our love and our relationships can be real and meaningful, not forced. You cannot make another person miss you or force them to talk to you, and prayer is not a way to control another person's will. What you can do is take responsibility for what you said, confess it plainly without excuse, ask for forgiveness, and leave the outcome in God's hands. A half hearted or lukewarm approach will not bring healing, God desires truth and sincerity.
So pray first for your own heart, that God would deepen that loving relationship with you as your Father, that He would forgive you through Christ and help you walk in the newness of life, with self control over your words even when you are angry. Then pray for the other person with love and not with pressure, asking God to bring healing and reconciliation if it is His will, and to give you both wisdom, patience and grace. If you have not yet done so, go to that person humbly, acknowledge what you said when you were mad, ask for forgiveness, and show by your actions that you are putting off anger and putting on kindness, humility and love.
Praying for you that you would know the assurance that comes not from a legal standing but from being loved as His child, that you would experience His forgiveness and cleansing today, that He would give you a gentle and truthful spirit as you seek to make things right, and that He would work in both hearts according to His perfect wisdom and mercy.
