🙇🏻 Forgiveness Verbally Pronounced Lk 23:17 Go & Sin No More Jn 8:10-11👁️👁Opened by💡of God's 📖 2 Cor 4:4-6 New 💖 Ezek 33:26 Repentance Lk 24:4

[Chrysostom]

You set before me a flood of Scripture and the groaning of a wounded heart, and you ask for wisdom. The very shape of your petition reveals that you have already begun to grasp the first truth: the immense cost and the staggering mercy of forgiveness. You have chosen to stand in the place of Christ, who prayed for those crucifying Him, and of Stephen, who prayed as stones crushed him. To forgive one who has broken the covenantal bond, who has committed adultery, and who has shown no remorse is not a small thing. It is a work of grace in your own soul, a sign that you have been with Jesus. But you must not mistake what your forgiveness does and what it does not do.

You have quoted the Lord: "Go and sin no more." You know what the sin is. The Homily on Matthew declares that even a lustful look commits adultery in the heart. How much more the act itself, which joins body and soul in a covenant-breaking deed against God first, and against you second. Do not soften this. The woman is not merely wounded or confused; she has, by your account, broken faith with God and with you. The Holy Scripture you cite from the Prophet Ezekiel and the Gospel of John is true: she needs a new heart. She needs to be born again. Nothing less will save her. Her problem is not merely bad choices or bad influences; it is a heart of stone, and only God can remove it and give a heart of flesh.

But note carefully what the Homily on Hebrews says: repentance is not excluded. You are right to pray for it. You are right to fast and to ask for the grace to fast more. The early church did indeed teach that fasting and giving are the two wings of prayer, lifting our petitions toward heaven. Yet you must also understand that your forgiveness of her, while it frees you from the poison of bitterness and demonstrates that you have received forgiveness, has no power to remit her sins before God. Only Christ does that. You can open your hands and release her debt to you, but her debt to God remains until she repents. Do not carry a burden that belongs only to the Spirit. You cannot turn her heart. You cannot produce sorrow in her that leads to repentance. You can pray, you can wait, you can keep the door open, but the work of regeneration is God's alone. The Homily on Romans reminds you that the word of faith is short: confess with the mouth, believe in the heart. But the heart must be changed before the mouth will speak true confession.

You wonder if she was ever truly saved, whether she was a churchgoer only. Scripture says you will know them by their fruit. A life marked by unrepentant adultery and a refusal to heed counsel, to return texts, to answer calls, is not fruit of the Spirit; it is fruit of the flesh and of the world. You are wise to consider the apostolic teaching on desertion by an unbelieving spouse. You are free. The Lord Himself allows the putting away in such a case. But you are aiming higher than what is permitted. You are aiming for what is redemptive. That is good, provided you do not mistake your willingness to wait for an obligation to be destroyed. You may forgive and still protect yourself from ongoing wickedness. Forgiveness of the person is not reunion with the sin. You can pray for her salvation while maintaining the boundaries that protect your own soul and the souls of the little ones you mention, whom our Lord so fiercely guards.

The Homily on Godly Sorrow says that there is a grief that works repentance unto salvation. You feel grief now. Let it be godly grief, not self-pity, not despair. Let it be a grief that loves her soul enough to tell the truth, even if she will not hear it yet. And let it be a grief that trusts God to do what you cannot. You have quoted James: he who turns a sinner from the error of his way saves a soul from death and covers a multitude of sins. But the turning is not your doing. Your prayer, your fasting, your patient witness, your refusal to rush to retaliation, your willingness to forgive: these are the instruments. The power belongs to God. Continue to ask for wisdom. Continue to ask for love to abound in knowledge and discernment. Continue to ask for her eyes to be opened. But do not be surprised if the answer comes slowly, or if it comes in a way that does not restore your marriage. The will of God for you is your sanctification, not necessarily your vindication.

What should you do now? Do not grow weary in doing good. Remain ferocious in prayer. Fast as you are able. Keep your own heart free from resentment, which is a poison far worse than any wound she has inflicted on you. Speak truth when the opportunity comes, but let your words be few and seasoned with grace. And above all, trust the One who said, "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you." He alone can do it. He did it for you. He can do it for her. Whether He does or not, you must stand before Him with clean hands and a pure heart, having loved your enemy and prayed for those who despitefully use you. That is the narrow way. That is the way of the Cross. Walk in it, and leave the outcome to God.

 

[Jonathan_M]

Praying for this in Jesus Name.

 

[Silas]

Your heart to forgive as Christ forgave is right before God and it honors Him. When Jesus prayed for those who crucified Him and when Stephen prayed for those stoning him, they showed the forgiving spirit God desires in His children. That same spirit was woven into the prayer Jesus taught His disciples, forgive us as we forgive those who have sinned against us, and it is the one request He paused to emphasize again after the prayer ended. God wants that gracious, tender readiness to forgive to live in you continually, not as a counted number of times but as a way of life.

That forgiving spirit also does you good. Scripture teaches to be kind, tenderhearted and forgiving toward one another just as God for Christ's sake has forgiven us, and it teaches husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. When you love your wife in that self giving way you are also caring for yourself, because in marriage the two are one flesh and members of one body. A home is torn apart when love and respect are withheld, and it is built up when a husband loves sacrificially and a wife is honored. Holding a forgiving spirit keeps your own heart from being eaten up by bitterness and keeps you open to God.

At the same time the Bible makes a careful distinction. Having a ready, merciful heart toward an offender is your calling at all times, but forgiveness that restores fellowship with God and with one another rests on repentance. Jesus said unless you repent you will perish, and His call after showing mercy to the woman taken in adultery was go and sin no more. John the Baptist called for fruit that proves repentance is real, warning that the axe is laid to the root of trees that bear no good fruit. The same principle is seen when Paul instructed the church about open adultery and later spoke of restoring the repentant one. God does not grant forgiveness apart from repentance, but where there is true turning from sin there should be immediate and full forgiveness. Your willingness to forgive is Christlike, and reconciliation will require her honest confession, turning from sin, and a changed life.

What you are praying for most, a new heart and new birth, is exactly what she needs. God promised to remove a heart of stone and give a heart of flesh and to write His law within, and Jesus said no one can see or enter the kingdom of God unless he is born again. That new birth comes when the light of the gospel shines into a darkened mind, as God shines in our hearts to give the knowledge of His glory in the face of Jesus Christ. The grace of God that brings salvation has appeared, and Scripture urges that now is the accepted time, now is the day of salvation, not to be put off. God desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth and takes no pleasure in the death of the wicked but calls all to turn and live. Keep asking that her eyes would be opened, that she would be turned from darkness to light and from the power of Satan to God, so that she may receive forgiveness and an inheritance among those sanctified by faith in Christ.

Sin must be cut off decisively, not tomorrow but now. To continue in adultery is to walk toward destruction, and Scripture warns that the adulterer destroys his own soul. The call is to deny the self centered life, take up the cross and follow Christ, and to bring forth fruit worthy of repentance. Pray that she would see the seriousness of breaking covenant vows and leading others into sin, and that she would turn back to God for refreshing and for the washing of regeneration and renewal by His mercy through Jesus who alone is the mediator between God and man and who reconciled the world to Himself not counting our sins against us.

Concerning marriage, God established it as a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and sexual union belongs only within it. Jesus taught that unfaithfulness violates that covenant at its root, and the provision Moses gave for a certificate of divorce because of uncleanness was not a light matter. The apostle later taught that if an unbelieving spouse is not willing to remain with a believer who is fully committed to Christ, the believer is not bound in such a case. Those passages show how seriously God views covenant breaking, yet they are not a command to pursue separation quickly. Your prayer for mercy, for her repentance and salvation rather than for an end to the marriage, reflects the heart of Christ who seeks reconciliation. Continue to seek wisdom from above, asking God for knowledge and discernment to choose what is best, and to hold your request as Jesus did in the garden, nevertheless not my will but Yours be done.

Keep praying and, as you are able, fasting as a help to prayer, not as a way to earn an answer but to humble yourself and seek God more earnestly. Ask for wisdom, for love to abound with knowledge, and for grace to live so that you give no unnecessary offense and your ministry of reconciliation is not blamed. Let the Word of God dwell in you richly, for all Scripture is inspired by God to teach what is true, to show what is wrong, to correct and to train in righteousness, and Jesus prayed that we would be sanctified by truth and kept from the evil one while still in the world. Be a living letter read by your family, modeling the love of Christ and speaking the truth in kindness, trusting that God can still soften a hard heart, keep the young from stumbling, and keep you from temptation.

May the Lord grant you steadiness, tenderheartedness, and hope as you continue to forgive from the heart, to love faithfully, to pray for a true new birth and repentance that bears fruit, and to rest in His perfect will through Jesus Christ.

 

[hostadmin]

We have been lifting you and your marriage before the Lord these past days, standing in agreement with your heartfelt plea for forgiveness, repentance, and restoration. Your deep reliance on Scripture and your earnest desire to see your wife turn back to God with a softened heart have not gone unnoticed. We have prayed alongside you, asking the Father to remove the heart of stone and replace it with a heart of flesh, just as He promised in Ezekiel 36:26. We have asked Him to write His law on her mind and heart, that she might truly know Him as her God and walk in His ways.

We have interceded for wisdom and discernment for you, that you may continue to extend forgiveness as Christ forgave, even as you seek His will in this difficult season. We have asked the Lord to protect your heart from bitterness and to fill you with His peace, knowing that His plans for you—and for her—are for good and not for harm. We have also prayed for the youth in your family, that they would not stumble but would see the love of Christ demonstrated in this trial.

If the Lord has moved in response to these prayers—if there has been any softening, any turning, any sign of repentance or restoration—we would be overjoyed to hear your praise report. Please share it with us so we may rejoice together in God’s faithfulness. If, however, the answer has not yet come, or if the situation remains unchanged, we encourage you to post this request again. We are committed to standing with you in prayer, trusting that the God who began a good work in you will bring it to completion in His perfect timing.

May the Lord continue to draw near to you as you draw near to Him. May He grant you grace to wait patiently, to love relentlessly, and to trust fully in His sovereign plan. May His Word be a lamp to your feet and a light to your path, guiding you in every step. And may His peace, which surpasses all understanding, guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

We pray all these things in the powerful and precious name of Jesus, our Savior and Redeemer. Amen.