Leah B.
Humble Servant of All
Please in Jesus's name pray a blessing on my intensive eight-week treatment program [counseling, PT and OT] for functional movement disorder. Let me explain what FMD is: It's uncontrollable facial or body movements of any kind, not caused by a disease or a dysfunction of the nervous system per se. It can easily be mistaken for tardive dyskinesia, which did happen in my case. TD is usually caused by antipsychotics. I never took those. I took Zoloft, which can rarely cause TD. Two providers believe I have TD from Zoloft. Four believe it's FMD. My best instincts tell me the FMD camp is right. This being said, my first prayer is that the FMD diagnosis is right. Please pray these therapists can help me. This is not a psychosomatic disorder. It's a neurological disorder likened to if your computer works fine, but your software is broken. In my case, I get jaw movement on the left side that never ends. It hurts so much. I have gotten cuts on the inside of my cheek from these endless movements. I got TMJ as well. Even when it doesn't hurt that badly, the moving and clicking keeps me up all night. I am chronically sleep deprived. It's like Chinese water torture, and I've been like this since 2017. Also it's affecting my feet. It's mimicking restless leg syndrome, but it's not. Finally, I have some tongue movements. It's subtle, not with the tongue sticking out, but it's there. I have the psyche of a torture victim from the jaw pain and movement.
Also please in Jesus's name pray for the resounding success of my new dental implant and bone graft. I'm on postoperative day #4 and doing extremely well so far.
Please pray in Jesus's name for a successful, productive appointment with my outside-VA pulmonologist tomorrow. I have made up my mind I'm not going to get a biopsy of a 6.4-mm lung nodule even though the PET scan lit up. Fact is, I have severe acid and pepsin reflux. I believe that nodule is from microaspiration of stomach contents, acid and pepsin. It's likely a benign granuloma. My clinical history and pepsin test I did at home back this up: Two of three saliva tests were positive for pepsin. Most importantly, the morning one was. That means I definitely have nocturnal reflux of pepsin and stomach acid. In fact, I believe I had undiagnosed chemical pneumonitis a few months ago. Additionally, there is a high false positive rate on PET scans for nodules under 8 mm. I wish I never got this cancer screening. VA hounded me for three weeks until I finally caved in. The nodule was 6.4 mm on CT scan and 66 days later on PET scan, it was still 6.4 mm. Cancer grows. For this reason, tomorrow I want my outside-VA pulmonologist to agree to ordering CT scans every three months to just monitor this thing for growth. The risk of collapsed lung is just too high. My COPD heightens the risk, as does the fact that the nodule is under 8 mm. In addition, they can't even be sure to get a good sample with a nodule this tiny. Again, please pray my outside-VA pulmonologist agrees to this plan. Please pray the nodule does not grow and again pray it's not cancer [which I doubt it is].
Finally in this regard, please pray I can enlist this same pulmonologist to help me get TIF with hernia repair. I am desperate to get this surgery. I am on a bland diet that I hate and still suffering. I gave up cooking. I'm a gourmet cook who LOVED to cook. I haven't had my dad over for dinner in quite a while because I'm sick and because I'm trying to stay away from food. What little social life I had is gone. Restaurants are a loaded dice roll. I didn't go to The Winery on Mother's Day because I can't have wine. I have friends that want to go out -- It's always to eat. I LOVE food. I don't want to be on this horrendous diet for the rest of my life, and I should not have to be. And again -- The diet only helps so far anyway. You turn down all beautiful, delicious food just so you can feel only slightly less lousy. And here's the thing -- I have a hernia. I take Trelegy for my COPD. It relaxes the esophageal sphincter, causing reflux. I also inevitably will have to take prednisone again to deal with a COPD flare. I have so much stacked against me, plus the GERD/LPR is hurting my lungs -- I sleep sitting up because I'm afraid of more acid/pepsin damage -- yet I have to grovel and jump through hoops to get surgery that at this point, should be a no-brainer! Anyway, once again please pray I get TIF with hernia repair soon and that the surgery is a resounding success. Please pray in Jesus's name I can get my pulmonologist on board with the idea. Thank you for praying.
Also please in Jesus's name pray for the resounding success of my new dental implant and bone graft. I'm on postoperative day #4 and doing extremely well so far.
Please pray in Jesus's name for a successful, productive appointment with my outside-VA pulmonologist tomorrow. I have made up my mind I'm not going to get a biopsy of a 6.4-mm lung nodule even though the PET scan lit up. Fact is, I have severe acid and pepsin reflux. I believe that nodule is from microaspiration of stomach contents, acid and pepsin. It's likely a benign granuloma. My clinical history and pepsin test I did at home back this up: Two of three saliva tests were positive for pepsin. Most importantly, the morning one was. That means I definitely have nocturnal reflux of pepsin and stomach acid. In fact, I believe I had undiagnosed chemical pneumonitis a few months ago. Additionally, there is a high false positive rate on PET scans for nodules under 8 mm. I wish I never got this cancer screening. VA hounded me for three weeks until I finally caved in. The nodule was 6.4 mm on CT scan and 66 days later on PET scan, it was still 6.4 mm. Cancer grows. For this reason, tomorrow I want my outside-VA pulmonologist to agree to ordering CT scans every three months to just monitor this thing for growth. The risk of collapsed lung is just too high. My COPD heightens the risk, as does the fact that the nodule is under 8 mm. In addition, they can't even be sure to get a good sample with a nodule this tiny. Again, please pray my outside-VA pulmonologist agrees to this plan. Please pray the nodule does not grow and again pray it's not cancer [which I doubt it is].
Finally in this regard, please pray I can enlist this same pulmonologist to help me get TIF with hernia repair. I am desperate to get this surgery. I am on a bland diet that I hate and still suffering. I gave up cooking. I'm a gourmet cook who LOVED to cook. I haven't had my dad over for dinner in quite a while because I'm sick and because I'm trying to stay away from food. What little social life I had is gone. Restaurants are a loaded dice roll. I didn't go to The Winery on Mother's Day because I can't have wine. I have friends that want to go out -- It's always to eat. I LOVE food. I don't want to be on this horrendous diet for the rest of my life, and I should not have to be. And again -- The diet only helps so far anyway. You turn down all beautiful, delicious food just so you can feel only slightly less lousy. And here's the thing -- I have a hernia. I take Trelegy for my COPD. It relaxes the esophageal sphincter, causing reflux. I also inevitably will have to take prednisone again to deal with a COPD flare. I have so much stacked against me, plus the GERD/LPR is hurting my lungs -- I sleep sitting up because I'm afraid of more acid/pepsin damage -- yet I have to grovel and jump through hoops to get surgery that at this point, should be a no-brainer! Anyway, once again please pray I get TIF with hernia repair soon and that the surgery is a resounding success. Please pray in Jesus's name I can get my pulmonologist on board with the idea. Thank you for praying.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
