seanathon
Prayer Warrior
I am writing this prayer because it is crucial that I ask for healing concerning this issue. I need help being humble in offering up this issue because it is a painful one, and I have been harmed by it. I would ask for help in Jesus Christ's name. I would ask for help and guidance for this prayer because I do feel broken. Basically, I didn't think that pornography was a big deal when I was going through high school; it was a very common thing, and I didn't really like it, but unfortunately, I had viewed it. It was actually a very hurtful thing in my life; it made me into an objectifying person even though I tried to view people with respect. I know that I have a hard time not thinking lustful and objectifying thoughts, and I didn't realize how much pornography had to do with that until I got to college.
Anyway, I ask that Jesus would hear my prayer as I know He had done when I was at Redlands and knew I was being guided. I was so tired and wanted to be friends with people and asked for a restoration at college to be able to see girls and women as friends and simply good friends. I had such loneliness in me, but it was not a loneliness of a man who was seeking a woman for sex or marriage; it was a kid who remembered being friends and respecting women as sisters, mothers, and friends—something that I had felt had been slipping away because of the terrible changes in this world. I always had a tough time adjusting to viewing people as friends, and I remember days when I could just respect everyone as friends, and I loved playing in Ireland and playing on the street, playing hockey, and respecting everyone as equals and friends. I know that the feminine should be appreciated, but I guess what I'm saying is a miss just respecting everyone as friends—not worrying about lust or any of the stigma that comes from relationships, etc. I would ask for help again to ardently seek friendships and to be like a brother instead of a lover. I know there is nothing wrong with marriage; in fact, it is holy, but where I am in my life, I feel that I need to again establish deeply good and respectful friendship as if I was a good brother.
I would ask for help concerning such attempts because I have gone astray, and although I tried really hard at Redlands and I know I was being guided and healed in the process, I had failed because I had given into pornography and bitterness, and it was my own fault. I would ask for help respecting myself again. I will tell a short story because it may help me to get the whole perspective. I will not name names; I was trying very hard to be a brother. I remember clearly that I knew and Jesus had told me in time through just the feeling of comradery and family that existed at Redlands as I went to class and respected my peers. I knew that the stereotypes and stupid clichés of pornography were not only shallow and unreal but were harmful. I gave up pornography and masturbation. I remember that at first, it was difficult, but I believed that I was giving up a bad habit and that I was just going through withdrawals that soon I would never again be tormented by those compulsions and that a more respectful way to look at people would be able to take the place of the problems of the past. I was able to see girls as friends, good friends, something I hadn't been able to do since I was very young, and I am glad that I respected the people I knew that at that stage in my life, I needed friendship, not romance, and that I would be fine working on normal and healthy social relationships.
I had a friend whom I respect, and I would ask that she be watched over and prayed for and that I leave her alone in peace and that if there are any lingering problems without magnifying them, I would give them up right now in Jesus Christ's name. I would ask for a return to the genuine care and concern that I know I had for all the people at Redlands and for my family here it is, is a beautiful day. Anyway, I made a lot of good friendships and made it a point to listen. Some of them I looked up to as mentors, and it was a freedom to be able to see these people as not only female role models but masculine role models as well, to see them as inspiration like big sisters. I am asking for forgiveness concerning the things I have done. This is a deep problem for me, and I am asking for help concerning this because it has been such a difficult problem for me. I was able to give up pornography for about two years during this time, I was feeling much more normal, much more in reality, and was able to act friendly and respectfully to people I met. I was able to respect relationships people had with each other; I was feeling pretty good. I had given up pornography out of good intentions, but I will not pretend that it was easy. It took a traumatic experience for my closest friend at Redlands at the time, a fellow opera singer, to realize how wrong pornography is. I would ask that if anyone who doesn't think pornography is harmful would realize and that I be reminded in case I am ever tempted against that pornography ruins lives. Not only are the people who think they are empowered by the industry abused and in need of help and prayer, but also the people who watch pornography are supporting slavery, of the worst kind.
I am asking for the lifting away of this entire situation that I would never go back to pornography ever again, and I know I won't because I have. I am asking that my prayer be humble and that I could be in help to others who need help with getting out of that terrible life. I ask for help to see people as human beings and love with compassion. I ask for laughter and healing for all who went through those situations as they lead loving, peaceful, and good lives as they are able to see themselves as beautiful and friends. I ask for help; I really need help because this would have been a mortal blow had I not given it up, and I would ask for help now to ask that anything that pornography ever brought up in my life, and it brought up a lot, brought up terrible pain, and though I will not name all of it, I would ask that any of the anger, any of the sins that tried to grab a hold of me when I slipped into pornography would no longer be able to have any sway and any wounds that were caused melt away like water. I would ask for healing and sunlight to calm my nerves and help me to give [all the perversion and lies that came because of the pornography. In truth, it was because I fell into the snare of pornography even though I knew that my friends were not the lies that pornography had been trying to dictate, that I stumbled, and it was. I ask for help in this moment to give up whatever temptation or loneliness or obsessive thought had ever brought pornography back into my life and that whatever wounds were caused by pornography because yes, pornography wounds, and the lies it says about people are not who they truly are. Amen, in Jesus Christ's name. I would pray that I would be made healed and pure like a brother. I would never have a lustful thought about my friends and sisters and brothers. I ask for healing and I ask for grace concerning this, and I know also that somewhere you have someone who loves me, and I may love in holy matrimony, but I would ask that person alone. I would reserve sexual things. I am asking for help and humility because I am still a virgin, but I admit something, and that is that pornography hurt me. It hurt me so bad that I felt like I had become perverse and ruined. I would ask for help, I ask for help saying this prayer because even now I feel resistance, and I don't know why. I would ask for healing like waves of calm to come to this house and help me to see the world again in a blissful light. I ask that I would not only be healed but have the motivation that I had when I was at Redlands and when I was growing up to be a good brother to love my family and to respect women and men. I admit that I have had hurt, but I ask for armor. I ask for healing and grace to help me now. May I believe that Jesus Christ does hear my prayer and anything that the Trinity got to tell me otherwise would simply not be able to even show its face nor have any influence, and that I would be dissipated that its emptiness would be washed away. I bring up this situation, Jesus, and I would ask for help because there are delusions telling me that even now this prayer is wrong, but I know that I need to bring this up. Jesus, please have mercy. I am a sinner and I ask for humility to accept any grace that would come today. I need help because I often feel I go astray. I bring this up because me going back to pornography when I knew my friend had been hurt was the worst thing I think I've done in my life. It made me feel so despicable, and I had such a difficult time forgiving myself. I thought I'd never be free of lust and compulsions, and it became so difficult to feel that I was a good person. The nightmares that followed only got worse, and I began to ask that you would defeat the anger in me and break whatever hold lust ever had in my life and defeat whatever problem came from that act and that soon, if not after my sleep or even during that, I could have good dreams that would battle the negative that had tried to afflict me so much that had told me I was evil because of what I had done, and that I was a monster because of the things I saw. Truly, I ask that you defeat pornography and lust entirely, and other sin would not come near this house, and lastly, I would ask for healing concerning all the things I did since the day I fell victim to pornography. I ask for healing and grace to heal the emptiness that I feel and I would ask for healing and grace to help me calmly now to trust again that you are helping me, and I would ask for full armor now in Jesus Christ's name to guard my heart and my actions. I am scared; it has been rough, but I ask that pornography would not win that the evil and the lies that came from that day when I fell victim to pornography would not be able to have any stronghold in any degree anymore in Jesus Christ's name. I would ask for healing and grace and peace of mind to live a life as if I had never even watched nor watched pornography and to believe that now I can be healed and will be in Jesus Christ's name. I would ask that any prayers are said today would resound and love would fill the hearts of man and woman today and that there be healing. Healing for my eyes for they are weary, and I ask for healing to remove the lust that had come because of fear, because I know that it was the guilt and fear that led me into temptation. I would ask that I not only ask that I would not be led into temptation but also out of fear because I hadn't believed that you were watching over as closely as it had been at Redlands. I was angry; I was scared. My dad had been diagnosed with Parkinson's, and I was so scared. I was terrified. I was so worried that I would be thrown into a responsibility that I simply didn't feel that I would be able to handle, and then the medicine came, debilitating me immensely. It had bad effects on me; it led me into way too much anxiety, but you got me out of it. I would ask for protection and healing because I know that it was not your will for me to go through the medicine incident, and it harmed me, but I would ask for the grace to show me how to believe and trust again that you are strong enough to protect me. Also, I wanted to give thanks because I know Jesus got me out of the situation I was in, not only with healing and dwindling of the terrible things that had been happening but with help and healing as I returned home. I ask for a return to the hope and wonder and help without the angry eye delusions. I am so tired; I just want a return back to when I was just working to be a good son and brother. Honestly, it has been a very tough and painful journey, and I ask for help. I wanted to make my parents proud so that they would relax and not worry about my life because I believed that you were helping me. I wanted to be a good brother. I wanted to move on in my opera career. I ask for healing regarding my dreams and I would ask for healing and complete relaxation in calmness and stillness and for calm rains of grace to heal this household. It is a beautiful day, and I would just ask for calmness that I would not judge and that I would be a good friend to all I meet in Jesus Christ's name. I pray and I ask that I would approach the present with the same joy and enthusiasm that I had at Redlands University and that all my friends would have a very good day, a joyful day with healing that would melt hearts of stone. I ask for calming of my compulsions now. I have brought up the situation that I feel had led me into disaster recently. I would ask for healing and defeating the source of the anxiety and problems that led to the terror that I faced would simply be pushed away, and that rain would remain. I am still a virgin, and I am still a virgin in Jesus Christ's eyes, and I would ask for help concerning this because I know grace and love isn't about the act of being a virgin that I could listen to people's singing and be put to sleep like a lullaby as I lay. I would simply remove the delusion and that any darkness or muddled thought would simply be calmly dispelled like sunlight disperses shadow. I ask that healing water would come into my entirety and that I would begin the process now of recovery now just of getting all the joy and respect that I have for my family back stronger but calmer. I am still scared. I am asking that I have a helmet now that any negativity and all the nightmares that came during the months after the pornography would simply no longer have thorns in me. I am so tired. Please get me back to the beautiful kid I was when I was full of joy at Sycamore and when I would just love walking in nature as a Boy Scout. May the feelings of joyous hikes in Philmont and the healing motivation that I had at Redlands become stronger and show they were always stronger. I ask for help and calming of my mind because grace is not a mental effort. I would ask for stillness and calmness and compassion that my heart begins to beat with calm joy. Amen.
Anyway, I ask that Jesus would hear my prayer as I know He had done when I was at Redlands and knew I was being guided. I was so tired and wanted to be friends with people and asked for a restoration at college to be able to see girls and women as friends and simply good friends. I had such loneliness in me, but it was not a loneliness of a man who was seeking a woman for sex or marriage; it was a kid who remembered being friends and respecting women as sisters, mothers, and friends—something that I had felt had been slipping away because of the terrible changes in this world. I always had a tough time adjusting to viewing people as friends, and I remember days when I could just respect everyone as friends, and I loved playing in Ireland and playing on the street, playing hockey, and respecting everyone as equals and friends. I know that the feminine should be appreciated, but I guess what I'm saying is a miss just respecting everyone as friends—not worrying about lust or any of the stigma that comes from relationships, etc. I would ask for help again to ardently seek friendships and to be like a brother instead of a lover. I know there is nothing wrong with marriage; in fact, it is holy, but where I am in my life, I feel that I need to again establish deeply good and respectful friendship as if I was a good brother.
I would ask for help concerning such attempts because I have gone astray, and although I tried really hard at Redlands and I know I was being guided and healed in the process, I had failed because I had given into pornography and bitterness, and it was my own fault. I would ask for help respecting myself again. I will tell a short story because it may help me to get the whole perspective. I will not name names; I was trying very hard to be a brother. I remember clearly that I knew and Jesus had told me in time through just the feeling of comradery and family that existed at Redlands as I went to class and respected my peers. I knew that the stereotypes and stupid clichés of pornography were not only shallow and unreal but were harmful. I gave up pornography and masturbation. I remember that at first, it was difficult, but I believed that I was giving up a bad habit and that I was just going through withdrawals that soon I would never again be tormented by those compulsions and that a more respectful way to look at people would be able to take the place of the problems of the past. I was able to see girls as friends, good friends, something I hadn't been able to do since I was very young, and I am glad that I respected the people I knew that at that stage in my life, I needed friendship, not romance, and that I would be fine working on normal and healthy social relationships.
I had a friend whom I respect, and I would ask that she be watched over and prayed for and that I leave her alone in peace and that if there are any lingering problems without magnifying them, I would give them up right now in Jesus Christ's name. I would ask for a return to the genuine care and concern that I know I had for all the people at Redlands and for my family here it is, is a beautiful day. Anyway, I made a lot of good friendships and made it a point to listen. Some of them I looked up to as mentors, and it was a freedom to be able to see these people as not only female role models but masculine role models as well, to see them as inspiration like big sisters. I am asking for forgiveness concerning the things I have done. This is a deep problem for me, and I am asking for help concerning this because it has been such a difficult problem for me. I was able to give up pornography for about two years during this time, I was feeling much more normal, much more in reality, and was able to act friendly and respectfully to people I met. I was able to respect relationships people had with each other; I was feeling pretty good. I had given up pornography out of good intentions, but I will not pretend that it was easy. It took a traumatic experience for my closest friend at Redlands at the time, a fellow opera singer, to realize how wrong pornography is. I would ask that if anyone who doesn't think pornography is harmful would realize and that I be reminded in case I am ever tempted against that pornography ruins lives. Not only are the people who think they are empowered by the industry abused and in need of help and prayer, but also the people who watch pornography are supporting slavery, of the worst kind.
I am asking for the lifting away of this entire situation that I would never go back to pornography ever again, and I know I won't because I have. I am asking that my prayer be humble and that I could be in help to others who need help with getting out of that terrible life. I ask for help to see people as human beings and love with compassion. I ask for laughter and healing for all who went through those situations as they lead loving, peaceful, and good lives as they are able to see themselves as beautiful and friends. I ask for help; I really need help because this would have been a mortal blow had I not given it up, and I would ask for help now to ask that anything that pornography ever brought up in my life, and it brought up a lot, brought up terrible pain, and though I will not name all of it, I would ask that any of the anger, any of the sins that tried to grab a hold of me when I slipped into pornography would no longer be able to have any sway and any wounds that were caused melt away like water. I would ask for healing and sunlight to calm my nerves and help me to give [all the perversion and lies that came because of the pornography. In truth, it was because I fell into the snare of pornography even though I knew that my friends were not the lies that pornography had been trying to dictate, that I stumbled, and it was. I ask for help in this moment to give up whatever temptation or loneliness or obsessive thought had ever brought pornography back into my life and that whatever wounds were caused by pornography because yes, pornography wounds, and the lies it says about people are not who they truly are. Amen, in Jesus Christ's name. I would pray that I would be made healed and pure like a brother. I would never have a lustful thought about my friends and sisters and brothers. I ask for healing and I ask for grace concerning this, and I know also that somewhere you have someone who loves me, and I may love in holy matrimony, but I would ask that person alone. I would reserve sexual things. I am asking for help and humility because I am still a virgin, but I admit something, and that is that pornography hurt me. It hurt me so bad that I felt like I had become perverse and ruined. I would ask for help, I ask for help saying this prayer because even now I feel resistance, and I don't know why. I would ask for healing like waves of calm to come to this house and help me to see the world again in a blissful light. I ask that I would not only be healed but have the motivation that I had when I was at Redlands and when I was growing up to be a good brother to love my family and to respect women and men. I admit that I have had hurt, but I ask for armor. I ask for healing and grace to help me now. May I believe that Jesus Christ does hear my prayer and anything that the Trinity got to tell me otherwise would simply not be able to even show its face nor have any influence, and that I would be dissipated that its emptiness would be washed away. I bring up this situation, Jesus, and I would ask for help because there are delusions telling me that even now this prayer is wrong, but I know that I need to bring this up. Jesus, please have mercy. I am a sinner and I ask for humility to accept any grace that would come today. I need help because I often feel I go astray. I bring this up because me going back to pornography when I knew my friend had been hurt was the worst thing I think I've done in my life. It made me feel so despicable, and I had such a difficult time forgiving myself. I thought I'd never be free of lust and compulsions, and it became so difficult to feel that I was a good person. The nightmares that followed only got worse, and I began to ask that you would defeat the anger in me and break whatever hold lust ever had in my life and defeat whatever problem came from that act and that soon, if not after my sleep or even during that, I could have good dreams that would battle the negative that had tried to afflict me so much that had told me I was evil because of what I had done, and that I was a monster because of the things I saw. Truly, I ask that you defeat pornography and lust entirely, and other sin would not come near this house, and lastly, I would ask for healing concerning all the things I did since the day I fell victim to pornography. I ask for healing and grace to heal the emptiness that I feel and I would ask for healing and grace to help me calmly now to trust again that you are helping me, and I would ask for full armor now in Jesus Christ's name to guard my heart and my actions. I am scared; it has been rough, but I ask that pornography would not win that the evil and the lies that came from that day when I fell victim to pornography would not be able to have any stronghold in any degree anymore in Jesus Christ's name. I would ask for healing and grace and peace of mind to live a life as if I had never even watched nor watched pornography and to believe that now I can be healed and will be in Jesus Christ's name. I would ask that any prayers are said today would resound and love would fill the hearts of man and woman today and that there be healing. Healing for my eyes for they are weary, and I ask for healing to remove the lust that had come because of fear, because I know that it was the guilt and fear that led me into temptation. I would ask that I not only ask that I would not be led into temptation but also out of fear because I hadn't believed that you were watching over as closely as it had been at Redlands. I was angry; I was scared. My dad had been diagnosed with Parkinson's, and I was so scared. I was terrified. I was so worried that I would be thrown into a responsibility that I simply didn't feel that I would be able to handle, and then the medicine came, debilitating me immensely. It had bad effects on me; it led me into way too much anxiety, but you got me out of it. I would ask for protection and healing because I know that it was not your will for me to go through the medicine incident, and it harmed me, but I would ask for the grace to show me how to believe and trust again that you are strong enough to protect me. Also, I wanted to give thanks because I know Jesus got me out of the situation I was in, not only with healing and dwindling of the terrible things that had been happening but with help and healing as I returned home. I ask for a return to the hope and wonder and help without the angry eye delusions. I am so tired; I just want a return back to when I was just working to be a good son and brother. Honestly, it has been a very tough and painful journey, and I ask for help. I wanted to make my parents proud so that they would relax and not worry about my life because I believed that you were helping me. I wanted to be a good brother. I wanted to move on in my opera career. I ask for healing regarding my dreams and I would ask for healing and complete relaxation in calmness and stillness and for calm rains of grace to heal this household. It is a beautiful day, and I would just ask for calmness that I would not judge and that I would be a good friend to all I meet in Jesus Christ's name. I pray and I ask that I would approach the present with the same joy and enthusiasm that I had at Redlands University and that all my friends would have a very good day, a joyful day with healing that would melt hearts of stone. I ask for calming of my compulsions now. I have brought up the situation that I feel had led me into disaster recently. I would ask for healing and defeating the source of the anxiety and problems that led to the terror that I faced would simply be pushed away, and that rain would remain. I am still a virgin, and I am still a virgin in Jesus Christ's eyes, and I would ask for help concerning this because I know grace and love isn't about the act of being a virgin that I could listen to people's singing and be put to sleep like a lullaby as I lay. I would simply remove the delusion and that any darkness or muddled thought would simply be calmly dispelled like sunlight disperses shadow. I ask that healing water would come into my entirety and that I would begin the process now of recovery now just of getting all the joy and respect that I have for my family back stronger but calmer. I am still scared. I am asking that I have a helmet now that any negativity and all the nightmares that came during the months after the pornography would simply no longer have thorns in me. I am so tired. Please get me back to the beautiful kid I was when I was full of joy at Sycamore and when I would just love walking in nature as a Boy Scout. May the feelings of joyous hikes in Philmont and the healing motivation that I had at Redlands become stronger and show they were always stronger. I ask for help and calming of my mind because grace is not a mental effort. I would ask for stillness and calmness and compassion that my heart begins to beat with calm joy. Amen.
