B
BluePrayers
Guest
I appreciate you generously offering your time to pray for me. I am really hurting right now and need the support.
Background:
I recently decided to start looking in earnest for a Christian husband. I am 33 years old. At the same time, my career is suffering right now due to the effects of the recession. I'm working, but in a job beneath my experience level and former pay but I'm working thanks be to God! I also no longer feel consumed by career pursuits. I've had time to think about more important things in life. After praying, I felt led to put greater efforts into finding a husband. I believe that it is God's will for me to be married and to start a family. So I signed up for an online dating service and God directed me to several Christian men. I am also joining the singles ministry and the church I now attend.
The Situation
I selected KP out of the men who contacted me online. (Fortunately, he also happens to attend my church and lives right around the corner from it.) When I eventually went on out with KP, there was an instant connection. Spiritually, I felt so pure in his presence. It was as if I could see into his heart. He was very tender and very open. He made it clear that he was looking for a wife and he shared a lot about his values, family, etc...and so did I. As some time progressed, I shared things about my career transition and the changes I was considering. He then immediately clammed up. He never responded to my e-mails and he didn't call me. When I was finally able to speak with him I asked why he pulled back. He said, "You're not ready!" He said that I was attractive and kind (something you don't find often) but that I wasn't ready. I explained to him my goals (I felt like I was pleading my case) of being a wife and mother. He said he understood and that he wanted to see me again the coming weekend (Christmas wknd) so we set a tentative date. When I contacted (text, calls) later to confirm, I never heard from him. I even sent him messages on Christmas Day! He just wouldn't return them. Its New Year's Day and I don't know what happened. Given how we connected and shared so much, I'm in total shock right now.
So what I'm seeking prayer for:
Thanks to all you for reading this message and for praying for me. I'm also open to any advice you might have to share. May God bless you!
Background:
I recently decided to start looking in earnest for a Christian husband. I am 33 years old. At the same time, my career is suffering right now due to the effects of the recession. I'm working, but in a job beneath my experience level and former pay but I'm working thanks be to God! I also no longer feel consumed by career pursuits. I've had time to think about more important things in life. After praying, I felt led to put greater efforts into finding a husband. I believe that it is God's will for me to be married and to start a family. So I signed up for an online dating service and God directed me to several Christian men. I am also joining the singles ministry and the church I now attend.
The Situation
I selected KP out of the men who contacted me online. (Fortunately, he also happens to attend my church and lives right around the corner from it.) When I eventually went on out with KP, there was an instant connection. Spiritually, I felt so pure in his presence. It was as if I could see into his heart. He was very tender and very open. He made it clear that he was looking for a wife and he shared a lot about his values, family, etc...and so did I. As some time progressed, I shared things about my career transition and the changes I was considering. He then immediately clammed up. He never responded to my e-mails and he didn't call me. When I was finally able to speak with him I asked why he pulled back. He said, "You're not ready!" He said that I was attractive and kind (something you don't find often) but that I wasn't ready. I explained to him my goals (I felt like I was pleading my case) of being a wife and mother. He said he understood and that he wanted to see me again the coming weekend (Christmas wknd) so we set a tentative date. When I contacted (text, calls) later to confirm, I never heard from him. I even sent him messages on Christmas Day! He just wouldn't return them. Its New Year's Day and I don't know what happened. Given how we connected and shared so much, I'm in total shock right now.
So what I'm seeking prayer for:
- I am seeking wisdom/discernment. When we met, it was as if I could see into this man's heart and soul. I could see such sensitivity and gentleness. I'm puzzled at how I might have misread this man. I've been saved since I was 15 years old. I came up in a conservative environment so I did not really date. I simply don't have lots of experience with men. Perhaps I am naive and this man never meant any good.
- I am seeking strength and healing to get over him, if its not God's will for me to be with this man. Right now, I cannot stop thinking of him. I'm tempted to call or e-mail but I'm fighting it.
- I am seeking God's direction in the best way to pursue a relationship. I'm afraid that I gave KP the impression that I wasn't serious about a relationship. On the other hand, I am shocked and surprised that he would hold my career status against me. It hurts badly because I am upset about my career too! I want to get back to where I once was.
- I am seeking God's comfort in this time because I am truly alone. I don't have close family. My guardian died when I was 15 and I've been on my own ever since. This is not about having getting that pretty white dress, its about my need for a family of my own. I'm really hurting right now with so many things missing from my life. Needless to say the Holiday season has been a challenge. I'm really, really hurting.
- And of course, I am seeking God's blessing for a new job. I've been searching for the right thing for more than 1 yr, 7mos years and I REALLY need a resolution. I have NO ONE to rely on if I lose my car, apartment etc... I need a miracle!
Thanks to all you for reading this message and for praying for me. I'm also open to any advice you might have to share. May God bless you!
