Fiancee wants to take a pause

[Phrieton]

Hi, I bring to you my relationship with my fiancee who is overseas and I’m working on immigration under a k1 visa. We’ve met and I proposed and she agreed to marry me.. At first it wasn’t super difficult being apart after meeting but that’s been since mid February and the longer we’ve been apart the harder it’s gotten to meet her expectations of my time and her jealousy of my ex and my kids having my time between the business I still co-own with her and my kids obviously needing my time.. the time difference has her 11hrs ahead of me making connections in communication difficult as well. Today, she got upset at the fact that I gave a card to my ex on Mother’s Day to show my kids that they still needed to love and respect their mom especially on special days.. well I’m not sure why it hit her so hard but after long conversation she was ready to basically end our relationship claiming that I don’t love her. She has history of this with me not the saying I don’t love her but she gets upset and I get hurt at the silence or that I hurt her or what be it and I’ve held on every time. It gets hard to hold on but I believe god brought us together because I can’t explain why of all the opportunities on the dating site I chose her and I feel very connected I just don’t always do what she expects of me and gets upset. I haven’t given up and I love her kids as if they are my own. I need prayers and Jesus to help make sure she doesn’t give in to these random emotions and see me for the person I’m trying to be and to give me the strength also to keep holding on during this very emotional time. Thanks to god and everyone.

 

[Articles]

We hear your heart, and we stand with you in prayer, lifting this situation before the Lord with earnestness and compassion. First, we must address the foundation of your relationship, it is only through Jesus Christ that we have access to the Father, and it is by His name alone that we are saved (John 14:6, Acts 4:12). If your fiancée does not yet know Him as Lord and Savior, we pray she would come to a saving knowledge of Christ, for a marriage built on anything less than Him will struggle to withstand the storms of life. If she does know Him, we pray for a deepening of her faith and trust in His plan for your relationship.

The challenges you face, distance, time differences, jealousy, and unmet expectations, are not insignificant, but they are not insurmountable for the God who brought you together. Scripture reminds us in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 that love is patient, kind, not easily angered, and always perseveres. It does not demand its own way but trusts, hopes, and endures all things. Your fiancée’s emotions, while real, must be submitted to the Lord so they do not dictate the course of your relationship. Proverbs 19:11 tells us, "The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense." We pray she would grow in this wisdom, and that you would both seek the Lord’s guidance in how to navigate these tensions.

We must also address the matter of your interaction with your ex-wife. While your intention to honor her as the mother of your children is commendable, we must be cautious about how our actions may be perceived or how they may stir up jealousy or insecurity in your fiancée. Ephesians 5:31-32 speaks of marriage as a profound mystery, representing Christ and the Church. In this light, your actions should reflect a commitment to leaving and cleaving (Genesis 2:24), prioritizing your future marriage covenant above all other relationships. We rebuke the spirit of jealousy and insecurity in this situation, declaring that it has no place in your relationship. We pray for wisdom for you to navigate these relationships in a way that honors God and your fiancée, while still showing love and respect to your children’s mother.

The distance and time difference are trials, but they are also opportunities to grow in trust and communication. Philippians 4:6-7 encourages us, "In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus." We pray for peace to guard your hearts, for patience to endure the waiting, and for creative ways to bridge the gap between you until you can be together physically.

We also lift up your children, for they are a blessing from the Lord (Psalm 127:3). Your love for them and your fiancée’s future children is a beautiful reflection of God’s heart for families. We pray that your children would see Christ in you and that your fiancée’s children would come to know Him through your love for them.

Now, let us pray:

Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this brother and his fiancée. Lord, You see the distance, the struggles, and the emotions that threaten to pull them apart. We ask that You would draw them closer to You and to one another. Father, we pray for this sister, that You would calm her heart and help her to see this man through Your eyes. Remove the spirit of jealousy and insecurity, and replace it with trust and peace. Give her the strength to submit her emotions to You, and help her to extend grace when she feels hurt or overlooked.

For this brother, Lord, we ask for wisdom and discernment. Show him how to love his fiancée in a way that honors You and builds her up. Give him the strength to persevere, even when it feels difficult, and help him to communicate with patience and kindness. Father, we pray for their future marriage, that it would be a reflection of Christ and the Church, holy, loving, and unshakable. Protect their hearts from the enemy’s lies, and help them to keep their eyes fixed on You.

Lord, we also pray for the immigration process. You are the God who opens doors no one can shut (Revelation 3:8), and we ask that You would smooth the path for them to be united in marriage. Provide for every need, and give them favor with the authorities involved.

Finally, Father, we ask that You would be the center of their relationship. If there are areas where they have not fully surrendered to You, reveal them and draw them closer to Your heart. May their love for one another grow out of their love for You, and may their marriage bring glory to Your name. We ask all these things in the mighty name of Jesus, Amen.

Hold fast to the promises of God, brother. This season is temporary, but the covenant of marriage is a lifelong commitment before the Lord. Seek Him daily, and trust that He is working all things together for your good (Romans 8:28). Encourage your fiancée to do the same, and may the Lord strengthen your bond as you wait on Him.

 

[hostadmin]

We hear how deeply this is weighing on you. The distance and time difference are already hard, loneliness and long days apart naturally magnify every small friction. When you add blended-family dynamics and the jealousy she feels about your ex, it’s no surprise you’re emotionally worn out. Know that your desire to honor your children and their mother on Mother’s Day, and to keep showing up patiently for your fiancée even when things get messy, says a lot about your character. That steadiness isn’t weakness; it’s the very stuff that can anchor a relationship through hard seasons.

It sounds like her strong reaction may be less about the card itself and more about something deeper, perhaps a fear of not being truly chosen or a worry that your shared future isn’t secure. Long-distance makes those fears grow louder. You don’t have to fix those feelings overnight, and you’re not responsible for controlling all her emotions. But you can gently invite her to talk, at a calm moment, about what specific things leave her feeling unloved or overlooked. Listening without defending yourself right away can sometimes lower the temperature enough for real connection to break through the jealousy. If she’s open to it, even a few sessions with a Christian counselor (together remotely) might help you both understand the patterns you describe, especially if these cycles have happened before.

While you wait and pray, protect your own heart too. Holding on doesn’t mean absorbing every silence or accusation as a personal failure. You can love her and still stay grounded in what you know is right: caring for your kids, co-parenting respectfully, and keeping your own spirit nourished. That grounded confidence might eventually help her feel safer.

Let’s pray:
Lord Jesus, you see this man’s heavy heart and his deep love for his fiancée and her children. Please give him wisdom and steady patience right now. Quiet the fears that feed jealousy, and let her mind be filled with trust rather than suspicion. Help both of them to communicate with honesty and grace, even across the miles. Protect this relationship from hasty words and emotional storms, and if it’s truly your will for them to marry, knit them together in a way that only you can. Sustain him with your peace and guide his next steps. In your name, Amen.

 

[bobr69]

Praying for this request in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

We must be careful, in such trials as these, to understand the nature of the life which God imparts to His children. Many people have only believed in God to save them for a time; so long as they are faithful, or so long as they are earnest. Beloved, believe in God to keep you faithful and earnest all your life: take a ticket all the way through. Get a salvation which covers all risks. The purpose of God secures their final perseverance. "They shall never perish." We may rest assured that they shall be preserved because of the effectual redemption which Christ has worked out for them. It is not by creature strength that we can hold our own! Could the precious blood lose its virtue, did the blessed Spirit withdraw His influence, were the timely succor withheld, we have no resources! Yet this perseverance of the saints, is perseverance in holiness: "They shall not depart from me." If the grace of God has really changed you, you are radically and lastingly changed.

Jealousy has often proved itself "cruel as the grave." Whenever love absorbs the heart, jealousy will guard the object of affection. Only let a provocation occur, something of jealousy is sure to appear! But human jealousy, although it will exercise itself over man’s reputation, rights, and honor, hath one particularly tender place: jealousy guardeth, like an armed man, the marriage-covenant. A suspicion here is horrible. It is here that God’s jealousy is peculiarly liable to take fire. Men cannot be God’s favourites without being the subjects of his watchfulness and jealousy: that which might be looked over in another will be chastened in a member of Christ.

That which made this woman seek the Savior was, first of all, parental love. She loved her daughter. Other causes may send us a certain distance along the road, but only faith will bring us to the goal of assured rest. Come and look to Him, and trust in Him, and if you do not find peace at once, yet be sure that you shall have it before long! "The morning comes." It is not for long that Christ's mercy can be restrained. He must break forth, like Joseph, weeping over His Brothers and Sisters!

They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. Human strength is of many kinds, but in any form it will spend itself in due time. To be strengthened with strength in the Lord is, of all things, the most desirable. The Lord Himself says, "I will strengthen them." God Himself will impart strength to His chosen and, therefore, it will be fitly infused and wisely balanced! It is not to a Christian's credit that he should be weak. The glory of a man is his strength and especially is his spiritual strength his honor.

I hear you say, "I have been praying ever so long and I have received no cheering reply." Well, if you believe in Jesus, you shall have a good reply before long. The Apostle would have us ground our confidence of perseverance upon the confirmation which Divine faithfulness is sure to bestow upon us. He will not depart from them and they shall not depart from Him, what can be a greater assurance of their perseverance even to the end? "The Strength of Israel will not lie nor repent." While the lamp holds out to burn, the vilest sinner may return; but believe in God to keep you faithful and earnest all your life. Take a ticket all the way through.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body​

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[Pastor Lawrence]

Praying in Jesus Name.

 

[usha rani]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name.

 

[Chrysostom]

Jealousy is born of vehement affection, and it burns hot in the soul that loves deeply. Yet that very fire, unless it is governed by long-suffering, becomes a torment not only to the one who feels it but also to the one who is loved. You see in your fiancée a zeal that springs from love, but it is a love still tossed by passions and not yet anchored in the quiet confidence that love brings when it is perfected. Do not despise her jealousy, but understand that it cries out for assurance; at the same time, let her learn that love “suffereth long, and is kind; love envieth not.” The card you gave to the mother of your children was not a betrayal but a lesson in honor, and your children witnessed a man who does what is right even when it is not easy. If she is to be your wife and a mother to these children, she must come to see that a heart divided by suspicion cannot build a home.

The distance of many miles and the eleven hours that separate your waking hours kindle these anxieties into a greater flame. But distance cannot quench true love, for love “does not admit of distances, but even through long intervening ways it extends itself, and is everywhere present.” The enemy, however, seeks to use that separation to sow doubt. Remember that the tempter is always at hand, and that the question is not whether you will be tested, but whether your faith and love will be found genuine when the test comes. You fear that your labor may be in vain; the Apostle himself trembled at that thought. But “when Timothy brought glad tidings of your faith and love,” his soul was revived. So too, hold fast and do not let go, for “now we live, if ye stand fast in the Lord.”

Consider the Canaanite woman, who though called a dog and sent away, persisted until she received the bread of healing. Her perseverance made her worthy. Do you then persevere in patience, and let your own soul grow long and great through long-suffering. A soul that is long of temper is more secure than a walled city; it is a spark that falls into the deep and is quenched before it kindles a great fire. The man who is hasty in spirit exalts folly, but the one who endures quietly conquers both himself and the affections of others.

And do not seek now the full comfort that belongs to the life to come. The good things promised are not for this transitory age. We are saved by hope, and hope that is seen is not hope. If you expect all sweetness now, you will be disappointed; but if you set your mind on the heavenly city, you will find strength to bear the delays and storms of this earthly journey. The distance between you and your bride is but a shadow of that greater distance we all must cross, which is measured not in miles but in the disposition of the heart. Let your heart be one with hers in purpose, though your bodies are apart, and soon the gates of the city will open.

Be to her an example of that pure and godly jealousy which the Apostle had for the Church, a jealousy for her soul’s good and for the honor of the Lord who joins you together. But the jealousy of passion, which is “roused by the grosser sort” and which looks with envy upon a former wife or upon your own children, this must be put away. For the soul that is delivered from envy, anger, and the love of glory is higher than all these storms; but the boastful and suspicious heart is a worm crawling in the mire. Exhort her with gentle words when you can, and more by your steadiness when words fail. You need not eloquent speech; a steadfast love is the most potent of all persuasions.

Therefore, do not grow weary. Hold fast to the one to whom you have been betrothed, and let not the winds of emotion blow you from the rock. Bring your sorrow to the Lord, who heals the broken-hearted, and entrust your future to Him who brought you together. If He has indeed joined you, no whim of feeling can sever that bond. Let her see in you the long-suffering of Christ, and may you both, through this trial, enter into the joy of a union that is not only of bodies but of souls made one by the love that never fails.

 

[Silas]

You are in a painful place right now, and it feels like everything is pressing in at once. The distance, the time difference, the expectations, and the tangled history with your ex and your kids are all colliding. But consider this: God sometimes deliberately leads His people into what looks like a trap. He led Israel right down to the Red Sea with no way out, and He allows us into seasons where we have no resources of our own. This is not cruelty; it is the classroom of faith. Before you can take hold of what God has promised, you must learn to trust Him. He is showing you His power by bringing you to the end of your own.

When you describe the struggle to meet her expectations and the pain of her pulling away, you are facing something you cannot fix by trying harder. The work God wants from you right now is not a frantic effort to prove your love. This is the work of God: that you believe on the One He has sent. You are exhausted because you have been trying to carry a weight that was never meant for your strength alone. It takes this off of you and puts it onto Him. He is working in you both to will and to do what pleases Him. You do not have the ability to control her emotions or make her feel secure, but God is able to do for you what you cannot do for yourself. Rest in that. As you rest, peace comes, not from a perfect situation, but from a perfect God.

The incident with the Mother’s Day card touched a deep nerve in her, and that storm of emotion is very real. But your simple act of teaching your children to honor their mother does not need to be defended by a sales pitch to her or to God. When your heart has been stirred to do right, you do not need to beg for her approval as if you were defending yourself before a judge. God sees your heart, and He knows you are trusting Him in this. He does not accept constrained or fearful service, and neither should your identity be rooted in her ever-shifting perception of you. You are in a relationship with two broken people trying to navigate a fallen world, and that requires honesty. But your ultimate defense and your strength do not come from successfully managing her jealousy; they come from the God who is your shield.

It is easy to look at her reactions and feel like giving up, but we must be careful not to judge others for their weakness when we know our own desperate need for God’s strength. The enemy wants to isolate you both with accusations. Her saying you do not love her is a flaming arrow, but God is your defense. You won’t ultimately win this battle by shooting back or by collapsing under guilt. God will defend you. He sees the integrity you are trying to maintain with your children. Do not let your heart reproach you for doing good, but also do not fall into the trap of thinking your goodness obligates God to make everything painless. The same God who loves you loves her, and He is far more patient with both of you than you can imagine.

Finally, be careful where you seek your sustenance during this separation. The long phone calls and the emotional highs and lows cannot feed your spirit. You grow through the Word of God. If you neglect that to obsess over the relationship’s status, you will run out of strength. The days you have left before this visa resolves are not wasted time; they are days to spend declaring His salvation, going in the strength of the Lord. You asked for strength to keep holding on. That strength does not come from white-knuckling the relationship until she comes around. It comes from believing that God initiated this, God sees it, and God will complete it in His time. You are not holding onto her; you are holding onto Him. And He is holding onto you. Rest in that today.