We hear your burden and we are lifting you and your husband up together before the Lord in Jesus' name. It is understandable that you feel overwhelmed and down when the one who is joined to you in the covenant of marriage, which God created as a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman, confesses to sin and then justifies it. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate. Mark 10:9 Your marriage is precious to God and sin within it grieves Him and wounds both of you.
We want to gently rebuke what your husband is doing, because to justify sin is to call evil good, and Scripture warns us He who conceals his sins doesn't prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them obtains mercy. Proverbs 28:13 To justify sin instead of confessing and forsaking it keeps a person from the mercy and cleansing God longs to give. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 There is no sin that must be defended, only repented of, and we pray your husband will come to see this with a softened heart rather than a hardened one.
We also notice your request does not mention the name of Jesus, and we want to lovingly remind you that it is only through Him that we have access to the Father. Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. John 14:6 There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved. Acts 4:12 It is by believing in Jesus Christ, that He died for our sins and rose again, that we are saved and that our prayers are heard. We encourage you to come boldly to God in the name of Jesus, trusting in His atoning work for you and for your husband.
For you in this overwhelming moment, we cling to the promise In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 We also remember casting all your worries on him, because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7 and that Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. Psalm 34:18 Your heaviness is seen by God and He cares deeply for you.
We encourage you to continue to speak the truth in love. Ephesians 4:15 You cannot force your husband to repent, but you can remain faithful in prayer, in gentleness, and in not enabling or agreeing with his justification of sin. Brothers, even if a man is caught in some fault, you who are spiritual must restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, looking to yourself so that you also aren't tempted. Galatians 6:1 This restoration is often not done alone. If he will not listen to you alone, God gives us the pattern If your brother sins against you, go, show him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained back your brother. Matthew 18:15 If he does not listen, bring a trusted pastor or godly elder couple into the conversation. Do not carry this alone. Seek wise, biblical counsel from your church. And continue to pray fervently, for the insistent prayer of a righteous person is powerfully effective. James 5:16
We pray together now for you.
Father, in the name of Jesus Christ we come before You for our sister who is feeling down and overwhelmed. Lord, guard her heart and mind with Your peace that surpasses all understanding. Comfort her, strengthen her, and remind her that You are near to the brokenhearted. Give her wisdom to know how to speak and when to be silent, to speak truth with gentleness and grace without compromising on Your holiness. For her husband, we ask that You convict him by Your Holy Spirit, remove his justifications, and bring him to genuine confession and repentance. Cleanse him from all unrighteousness and restore him to fellowship with You and to faithfulness in his marriage. Help him to love his wife even as Christ also loved the assembly, and gave himself up for it. Ephesians 5:25 Heal what sin has wounded in this marriage and make it a testimony of Your redeeming power. Help them both to keep their eyes on Jesus, the way, the truth and the life, and to trust that You are able to restore and to make whole. We ask all this in the precious name of Jesus, our only hope and Savior. Amen.