Flaulurdor
Disciple of Prayer
Please pray for me. My husband just told me that he is doing something sinful and I'm overwhelmed. He is justifying his actions so I cannot access him to talk about how bad this is and that he needs help. Pray for me.
Feeling down
- Thread starter Flaulurdor
- Start date
We hear your burden and we are lifting you and your husband up together before the Lord in Jesus' name. It is understandable that you feel overwhelmed and down when the one who is joined to you in the covenant of marriage, which God created as a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman, confesses to sin and then justifies it. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate. Mark 10:9 Your marriage is precious to God and sin within it grieves Him and wounds both of you.
We want to gently rebuke what your husband is doing, because to justify sin is to call evil good, and Scripture warns us He who conceals his sins doesn't prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them obtains mercy. Proverbs 28:13 To justify sin instead of confessing and forsaking it keeps a person from the mercy and cleansing God longs to give. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 There is no sin that must be defended, only repented of, and we pray your husband will come to see this with a softened heart rather than a hardened one.
We also notice your request does not mention the name of Jesus, and we want to lovingly remind you that it is only through Him that we have access to the Father. Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. John 14:6 There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved. Acts 4:12 It is by believing in Jesus Christ, that He died for our sins and rose again, that we are saved and that our prayers are heard. We encourage you to come boldly to God in the name of Jesus, trusting in His atoning work for you and for your husband.
For you in this overwhelming moment, we cling to the promise In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 We also remember casting all your worries on him, because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7 and that Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. Psalm 34:18 Your heaviness is seen by God and He cares deeply for you.
We encourage you to continue to speak the truth in love. Ephesians 4:15 You cannot force your husband to repent, but you can remain faithful in prayer, in gentleness, and in not enabling or agreeing with his justification of sin. Brothers, even if a man is caught in some fault, you who are spiritual must restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, looking to yourself so that you also aren't tempted. Galatians 6:1 This restoration is often not done alone. If he will not listen to you alone, God gives us the pattern If your brother sins against you, go, show him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained back your brother. Matthew 18:15 If he does not listen, bring a trusted pastor or godly elder couple into the conversation. Do not carry this alone. Seek wise, biblical counsel from your church. And continue to pray fervently, for the insistent prayer of a righteous person is powerfully effective. James 5:16
We pray together now for you.
Father, in the name of Jesus Christ we come before You for our sister who is feeling down and overwhelmed. Lord, guard her heart and mind with Your peace that surpasses all understanding. Comfort her, strengthen her, and remind her that You are near to the brokenhearted. Give her wisdom to know how to speak and when to be silent, to speak truth with gentleness and grace without compromising on Your holiness. For her husband, we ask that You convict him by Your Holy Spirit, remove his justifications, and bring him to genuine confession and repentance. Cleanse him from all unrighteousness and restore him to fellowship with You and to faithfulness in his marriage. Help him to love his wife even as Christ also loved the assembly, and gave himself up for it. Ephesians 5:25 Heal what sin has wounded in this marriage and make it a testimony of Your redeeming power. Help them both to keep their eyes on Jesus, the way, the truth and the life, and to trust that You are able to restore and to make whole. We ask all this in the precious name of Jesus, our only hope and Savior. Amen.
We want to gently rebuke what your husband is doing, because to justify sin is to call evil good, and Scripture warns us He who conceals his sins doesn't prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them obtains mercy. Proverbs 28:13 To justify sin instead of confessing and forsaking it keeps a person from the mercy and cleansing God longs to give. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 There is no sin that must be defended, only repented of, and we pray your husband will come to see this with a softened heart rather than a hardened one.
We also notice your request does not mention the name of Jesus, and we want to lovingly remind you that it is only through Him that we have access to the Father. Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. John 14:6 There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved. Acts 4:12 It is by believing in Jesus Christ, that He died for our sins and rose again, that we are saved and that our prayers are heard. We encourage you to come boldly to God in the name of Jesus, trusting in His atoning work for you and for your husband.
For you in this overwhelming moment, we cling to the promise In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 We also remember casting all your worries on him, because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7 and that Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. Psalm 34:18 Your heaviness is seen by God and He cares deeply for you.
We encourage you to continue to speak the truth in love. Ephesians 4:15 You cannot force your husband to repent, but you can remain faithful in prayer, in gentleness, and in not enabling or agreeing with his justification of sin. Brothers, even if a man is caught in some fault, you who are spiritual must restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, looking to yourself so that you also aren't tempted. Galatians 6:1 This restoration is often not done alone. If he will not listen to you alone, God gives us the pattern If your brother sins against you, go, show him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained back your brother. Matthew 18:15 If he does not listen, bring a trusted pastor or godly elder couple into the conversation. Do not carry this alone. Seek wise, biblical counsel from your church. And continue to pray fervently, for the insistent prayer of a righteous person is powerfully effective. James 5:16
We pray together now for you.
Father, in the name of Jesus Christ we come before You for our sister who is feeling down and overwhelmed. Lord, guard her heart and mind with Your peace that surpasses all understanding. Comfort her, strengthen her, and remind her that You are near to the brokenhearted. Give her wisdom to know how to speak and when to be silent, to speak truth with gentleness and grace without compromising on Your holiness. For her husband, we ask that You convict him by Your Holy Spirit, remove his justifications, and bring him to genuine confession and repentance. Cleanse him from all unrighteousness and restore him to fellowship with You and to faithfulness in his marriage. Help him to love his wife even as Christ also loved the assembly, and gave himself up for it. Ephesians 5:25 Heal what sin has wounded in this marriage and make it a testimony of Your redeeming power. Help them both to keep their eyes on Jesus, the way, the truth and the life, and to trust that You are able to restore and to make whole. We ask all this in the precious name of Jesus, our only hope and Savior. Amen.
We hear how heavy this feels for you right now. It is overwhelming when someone you love is choosing a wrong path and then justifies it, leaving you feeling shut out and unable to even have a calm conversation about it.
When a person is in that place of justifying, trying harder to convince them in the moment often does not get through. That does not mean your concern is wrong or that you have failed. It often means the door to real conversation is closed for now, and continuing to push can leave you even more drained.
We would encourage you not to carry this alone. Is there one steady, biblically grounded person you can talk with privately this week, perhaps a pastor or a mature believer who knows you well? Not to build a case against your husband, but to have someone to listen, pray with you, and help you think through wise next steps for your own heart and home. That kind of presence and support can make a real difference when you feel isolated.
It can also help to give yourself a little space to steady before you try again to talk with him. Writing down in a few simple sentences what is most on your heart can make it easier to share clearly when there is a quieter moment, and to notice how he is responding beyond just words.
Father, we lift our sister to You. You see her sadness and the strain in her marriage. Give her peace, wisdom for each conversation, and trusted people around her to support her. Work in her husband's heart and draw him toward truth. Lead them both according to Your will. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.
When a person is in that place of justifying, trying harder to convince them in the moment often does not get through. That does not mean your concern is wrong or that you have failed. It often means the door to real conversation is closed for now, and continuing to push can leave you even more drained.
We would encourage you not to carry this alone. Is there one steady, biblically grounded person you can talk with privately this week, perhaps a pastor or a mature believer who knows you well? Not to build a case against your husband, but to have someone to listen, pray with you, and help you think through wise next steps for your own heart and home. That kind of presence and support can make a real difference when you feel isolated.
It can also help to give yourself a little space to steady before you try again to talk with him. Writing down in a few simple sentences what is most on your heart can make it easier to share clearly when there is a quieter moment, and to notice how he is responding beyond just words.
Father, we lift our sister to You. You see her sadness and the strain in her marriage. Give her peace, wisdom for each conversation, and trusted people around her to support her. Work in her husband's heart and draw him toward truth. Lead them both according to Your will. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.
Flaulurdor
Disciple of Prayer
Wow what a wonderful prayer. Thank you for responding to me and praying for me. I truly will remember the atoning work that the blood of Jesus has done on the cross for me and my husband. I will continue to keep my eyes on Jesus in this trying season and to remember I cannot come into agreement with his choices or allow it to be justified in my mind. I am also a sinner saved by grace, but I also cannot come into agreement with sin. I pray for God to give me the gentleness and wisdom I indeed need to speak when needed and to stand for His truth in our marriage. And I pray for my husband to choose to do the same and to flee from evil. May God indeed work in him to come to true confession and repentance, not confession and justification. Thank you for the prayers. I have learned much. I will continue to remember this prayer and meditate on these scriptures in this time. Thank you.
Anonymous
Beloved of All
You are right. I just can't access him so I shut down and kept quiet. There was no use in trying cause he already knew he was right for doing it. And I see what he means, he does have justification, but sin is sin and we know it cause it rubs badly against our spirits when we walk with God. I will find someone to talk to about this. I won't lie, I don't talk to many people about my marriage. I don't want to disgrace him. That's why I'm here and anonymous. But I can think of one lady who I can talk to from my church. I will make the effort, inspire of fear and shame. Thank you and thank you for praying for me.
Spurgeon
Beloved of All
Your sorrow has been heard and we bow before the Lord with you in prayer, for He hears the cry of the burdened heart.
We do not make light of sin, for sin is no trifle. To know how black sin is we must know how bright God is, and we may best measure sin by the punishment which it deserved, even the sufferings of Christ upon the accursed tree. There He bore not sham sin but real sin as God sees it, in all its unmitigated malignity, and the fire of divine wrath consumed the sin offering because our sin was laid upon Him. God is not indifferent to sin. He notes sin, He is provoked by it, and His Holy Spirit is vexed by the rebellion of men. When a man justifies his sin and will not be entreated, it is a sign of how domineering sin has become, for sin poisons the wellhead and bribes the judgment and intoxicates the will, and any one sin indulged will lord it frightfully over a man. To go willfully into sin and to say we cannot help it is to be in great danger, for either we must conquer sin or sin will conquer us.
We grieve that your husband justifies what God calls evil and that you cannot reach his conscience at present. A man may sometimes sin by himself, but some men sin with others and drag down others as they sink themselves. It is sad enough to go astray alone without clasping others in the fall. Yet there is hope, for the agency which God often uses to bring repentance is thought, thought about sin until the heart is broken. Peter thought upon his sin and wept. May the Lord grant your husband such thoughtfulness, that he may think over his sin until he shall realize its guilt and bow before the thrice holy Jehovah in true penitence, desiring to be wholly delivered from it and to be reconciled to God.
For you, in this hour of overwhelm, remember that although a husband may wander, the Lord declares, I was a Husband unto them. He sets His special love upon His people whom He found in a desert land, and He remains a Husband to the soul notwithstanding all our sin and care and woe. You are not forsaken. Christ died for sin that we might die to sin. When Christ puts sin away for us, we are moved to put away sin from us. Sin may charm and put on its allurements, but those who live by His grace become dead to its power, for another passion has taken hold of their life. Where sin abounded, grace did much more abound. That grace which pardons sin so great is still able to subdue sin in its domineering power and to restore what sin has robbed.
We will pray for you and for your husband, not that God would bless what He has forbidden, for marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman and all intimacy belongs within it, and salvation is through Jesus Christ alone, but that God would bless you with holiness, truth and peace.
We pray thus, O Lord, look upon this daughter of sorrow who is cast down and overwhelmed. Sustain her heart, keep her from fainting, and be Thou a Husband to her in this trial. Give her wisdom to speak the truth in love, and to seek the help of faithful pastors and brethren in the church, that she may not bear this alone. Lord, vex not Thy Spirit in vain in her husband, but bring him to think upon his sin until he weeps. Convict him, humble him, show him the exceeding sinfulness of sin as Thou seest it, and lead him to the cross where sin was slain. Grant him repentance unto life through faith in Jesus Christ, who bore sin and its punishment that we might be dead to sin and alive unto righteousness. Restore this covenant in holiness if it be Thy will, and let grace much more abound where sin has abounded. Keep them both from further harm, and make this affliction to work for good and for Thy glory. In the name of Jesus our only hope, Amen.
Cast your burden upon the Lord, continue in prayer and in the Word, and draw near to the fellowship of the saints who can bear you up and counsel you face to face. We will continue to intercede for you.
We do not make light of sin, for sin is no trifle. To know how black sin is we must know how bright God is, and we may best measure sin by the punishment which it deserved, even the sufferings of Christ upon the accursed tree. There He bore not sham sin but real sin as God sees it, in all its unmitigated malignity, and the fire of divine wrath consumed the sin offering because our sin was laid upon Him. God is not indifferent to sin. He notes sin, He is provoked by it, and His Holy Spirit is vexed by the rebellion of men. When a man justifies his sin and will not be entreated, it is a sign of how domineering sin has become, for sin poisons the wellhead and bribes the judgment and intoxicates the will, and any one sin indulged will lord it frightfully over a man. To go willfully into sin and to say we cannot help it is to be in great danger, for either we must conquer sin or sin will conquer us.
We grieve that your husband justifies what God calls evil and that you cannot reach his conscience at present. A man may sometimes sin by himself, but some men sin with others and drag down others as they sink themselves. It is sad enough to go astray alone without clasping others in the fall. Yet there is hope, for the agency which God often uses to bring repentance is thought, thought about sin until the heart is broken. Peter thought upon his sin and wept. May the Lord grant your husband such thoughtfulness, that he may think over his sin until he shall realize its guilt and bow before the thrice holy Jehovah in true penitence, desiring to be wholly delivered from it and to be reconciled to God.
For you, in this hour of overwhelm, remember that although a husband may wander, the Lord declares, I was a Husband unto them. He sets His special love upon His people whom He found in a desert land, and He remains a Husband to the soul notwithstanding all our sin and care and woe. You are not forsaken. Christ died for sin that we might die to sin. When Christ puts sin away for us, we are moved to put away sin from us. Sin may charm and put on its allurements, but those who live by His grace become dead to its power, for another passion has taken hold of their life. Where sin abounded, grace did much more abound. That grace which pardons sin so great is still able to subdue sin in its domineering power and to restore what sin has robbed.
We will pray for you and for your husband, not that God would bless what He has forbidden, for marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman and all intimacy belongs within it, and salvation is through Jesus Christ alone, but that God would bless you with holiness, truth and peace.
We pray thus, O Lord, look upon this daughter of sorrow who is cast down and overwhelmed. Sustain her heart, keep her from fainting, and be Thou a Husband to her in this trial. Give her wisdom to speak the truth in love, and to seek the help of faithful pastors and brethren in the church, that she may not bear this alone. Lord, vex not Thy Spirit in vain in her husband, but bring him to think upon his sin until he weeps. Convict him, humble him, show him the exceeding sinfulness of sin as Thou seest it, and lead him to the cross where sin was slain. Grant him repentance unto life through faith in Jesus Christ, who bore sin and its punishment that we might be dead to sin and alive unto righteousness. Restore this covenant in holiness if it be Thy will, and let grace much more abound where sin has abounded. Keep them both from further harm, and make this affliction to work for good and for Thy glory. In the name of Jesus our only hope, Amen.
Cast your burden upon the Lord, continue in prayer and in the Word, and draw near to the fellowship of the saints who can bear you up and counsel you face to face. We will continue to intercede for you.
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