God bless U. I would like to pray in truth for U. So first we have to look at Jesus & his words.What did Jesus say? He said I come to give life & more abundantly. satan comes to steal, kill, & destroy=depression, anxiety tears, insecurities, loneliness, oppresion, fears, rejection,etc. U testify to it: "leaving me in great depression, anxiety & tears".
U have worth. Please all other relationship in the past, call the names of each before God, & repent of each of them. These ungodly relationship leaves impact on our lives. it brings curses in our lives instead of blessing & it passes down to our children & grand-children. For the word of God says " People perish for a lack of wisdom. When we walk in spiritual darkness, we cannot see what were are involve with until, we start feeling pain.
U need healing from pass relationship. Let this man go in Jesus name. Please don't defile yourself with him anymore. U must now set up the standard of God in your life. Say this prayer to your heavenly father: Father in the name of Jesus, teach me to be the woman, U have created me to be. I choose U today, to be my Lord. I confess all my sins to U. (u may name some if u remember them) I believe that U send Your Son, Jesus to die for my sins. I accept Your Holy sacrifice for me. I want to follow U the rest of my life. Father, I desire to have a godly man in my life, as a husband. I don't want to gamble my life away any longer. Send godly women in my life to teach me the ways of YOU, LORD. U change my heart in Jesus name. Heal me & cleanse me from my pass sins & ungodly relationship. I pray that U prepare the man U have for me in Jesus name. (get yourself a bible:read the gospel of John, Acts,Romans first